If a stranger speaks to you in small talk, do you owe them a response? (conversation, acquaintance)

[Trimac20]

I actually wish that strangers would talk to each other more. To be honest I'm glad the rare time a stranger engages me in small talk, as long as that's all they want, usually it's like an old lady or something. I've probably done so a handful of times in my life (I'm 26, it's not typical for someone my age to do so) and each time I just got a good feeling from it. I usually try to find a 'reason' to talk to them, the weather, or something relevant to the situation. I think almost every time it's been an older person though, since they give 'signals' that they'd be open to it. Young people not so much. The bus, plane or train is totally different to standing in line at the grocery check out. In fact it's almost a 50/50 that the person sitting next to you will talk to you or vice versa. I've had great convos with people on transport, it's a great way to pass the time.

I don't think you 'owe' them a response but as others have said it's polite. I always do, if I don't I didn't hear you. Unless, of course, that person is being insulting or something, which happens. I imagine what it'd be like to be a celebrity or something where you're ALWAYS approached by strangers wherever you go.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by jade408

I do have a small talk pet peeve. The oversharers. I tend to get the people that tell me way way too much about their personal lives. No, I just met you in line, I do not care about your divorce, pregnant 15 year-old, your drug addict little brother....

That can get annoying. Or, well, crazy people. I mean I'll be polite to them, but once they start spouting their crazy theories for like an hour or something, lol.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by regular folk

My wife is not too friendly to strangers. People approach her on a regular basis and make small talk to her just to be friendly or to pass the time. She does not respond.

It bugs me how coldly she treats these people and I ask her about it and she says, "I didn't ask those people to speak to me, they have no business with me, they are just destroying my privacy!"

These could be people who are in a grocery line, or the grocery check out cashier, someone pumping gas next to her, the mailman, security guards, handymen who do work around the house, etc. They seem to be speaking to her in a nice way and are not crazy or homeless or using her to try to sell something.

To me, if someone speaks to me and asks a question or makes some type of comment they are owed some type of response. Exactly how long to keep the conversation engaged is the question.

What do you think?

Personally I think your wife sounds like an emotionless, cold hearted woman but you married her and you would know best. I think it is rude to not at least acknowledge someone when they have said hello, or whatever. If HER privacy is that important perhaps she should not leave your home that way there is no issue with her privacy being destroyed.

[JanND]

OP....Opposites attract. Your wife is introverted and you are more extroverted...no biggie. I am the person that usually smiles, or engages someone in small talk in the right place, time. But, even I will occasionally not be in the mood to be nice...and I'll just give a smile, or nod of my head..or a brief answer...It happens. Just observe your wife, see if she ever does respond to a stranger...make it a game. Perhaps you talk enough for both of you. I know often my husband just stands there like a stump lol.....And my daughter has said to me..."How does that happen...perfect strangers just start telling you their life story....I have been fascinated by that my whole life" Me...I see it as a gift...someone has cared enough to share often times things they may have never said to anyone....I don't take that for granted...there is a master plan...I think most of it has to do w/ personality. You obviously have one.

[brokencrayola]

I don't think you "owe" it to someone to answer them back, but I certainly think it is the proper thing to do. I always respond if someone talks to me. Now, if it is someone I feel uncomfortable with, I would walk away once I answered them, or make up a reason to leave, but I will always respond.

[regular folk]

I notice that when I am down in the community park near my home which is really quiet, when I run into people under 30 years old they will look away and act angry I said hello. The older people over 50 are more likely to say hello or even make a comment or two. The real young people are too interested in their SMART PHONE to engage anyone in a greeting or small talk.

[Bideshi]

I'm sorry, I have some things on my mind that I need to work through without distraction. I hope you understand.

[cristina gomes]

To talk with strangers is very dangerous sometimes.Specially if you start to give your phone nummber or address,or telling things about you.To start on have reliance in someone that sometimes even get some problems is just when you know this person minumum about 6 month.It is a lesson of a american friend of mine.She cames from New York City and hate America??I guess she has lived in there some hard times...???Unfortunately in this World not everybody merit your love ,care,and attention.If a woman is alone having problems indeed,some people aproach just to give more and more problems.....We can not say "everybody..."is bad,it is true....but to be carefull and giving imformation,or asking help for people you real does not know much,it is not a good job.If you give your problems to God and pray and ask God to help you and save you and your family of most of those vampire,I think it can help.You can not live in this World alone,you must trust in somebody,having friends....but unfortunately of my all life experience I can say that you have to be very careful.Of course there are nice people around you,or want to aproach you to help and not giving you more troubles than you already have,what I can say is that,you have to trust or not trust,but be careful.....Not everybody merit your private imformations to know it.It does not means you have to be closed and think on over the world is just bandids around....right?It is like a balance.....than you avoir many problems to yourself and to your family.

God blesses to you who are reading my message now.Jesus will be is your life,just give him the hands,you can trust him and asking him help,does not matter the time,how long....bye,have a nice weekend.

[old_cold]

As has already been said, it's easy to be polite yet avoid anything more than a short response.
But any foray out into the world is sure a nicer one when people are smiling rather than grumpy acting

[exscapegoat]

Yes, safety can be a factor. I once responded to the hello of a guy getting off the same bus stop as me by saying hello back. I lived in a very large apartment building at the time, so I wasn't sure if maybe I knew him from the neighborhood. He tried to engage me in more conversation and tried to follow me home to see where I live. I didn't have a cell phone at the time, so I stopped at a pay phone to buy some time until I figured out what I could do as I didn't want him to know where I lived. He crossed the street, stopped and just kept staring at me. It was very unnerving. As a fortunate coincidence happened, I was dialing my answering machine to make it look like I was calling someone (didn't think the police would respond or take it seriously) and shortly after, a very tall, muscular man walked out of the building near the pay phone and asked if I was finished using the phone. The other guy couldn't hear and it probably looked like he came downstairs in response to my call. All I know is he took off very quickly as soon as he saw the guy talking to me.