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Old 10-13-2012, 08:02 AM
 
45 posts, read 285,404 times
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I am not sure what its like where you live, perhaps its different in places where people don't drink much - but does anyone think we live in a society where many people just cannot socialize in a meaningful way with others without drinking. They cannot have an open, upfront conversation with any emotional content, or show any decency.

For the most part their unfriendly, self interested and use alcohol as a way of masking a very dull, uncreative personality with a lack of any real warmth, emotions or sense of humour. All great fun after a few drinks, but try chatting to them while sober and their back to their unfriendly, charmless selves. I just think generally we live quite an unfriendly culture, that is masked by drinking alcohol. In fact many people's so called social lives and "friends" are just people medicating themselves with Alcohol.

Seriously check out your average workplace, its mostly silence and any other conversations are guarded and not really friendly - then its a work night and people get drunk and everyone pretends to be friends for a night, next day its back the same awkwardness and silence.

Check out your average street, most places no one speaks to each other, or if they do its just a hello - I once tried to help a neighbour with lifting some stuff, and they did not want any help.

Going to the gym, doing hobbies etc - there isn't much chat or genuine friendliness just get on with the activity at hand, any open, direct conversation is frowned on.

I rarely drink - and if a person cannot socialize with me at work or anywhere without drinking in a meaningful way then I won't drink with them.

Everytime I feel like going out drinking with others I remind myself its just BS and these people are not showing their true-selves to you just a drunk version, or even drinking alone its just a way of escaping reality even so called drinking in moderation is a way of kidding yourself you don't need alcohol to brighten up a pretty dull life.

Tired of the whole drinking alcohol culture - if you need to drink every week then it just shows me a boring person who has no real highs in their life, and no genuine warm, emotions from within - just using a drug to manufacture and create these feelings which are lacking in their lives.
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Old 10-13-2012, 02:45 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,939,958 times
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What a very strange post. One has next to nothing to do with the other.

If the people you hang with are boring people with alcohol, then they're likely boring people without alcohol. Hang with a better bunch of people. Mind you, that's not to say that one needs alcohol to be an interesting, social person. But you have to start with actually having a personality in the first place.
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Old 10-13-2012, 04:59 PM
 
45 posts, read 285,404 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
What a very strange post. One has next to nothing to do with the other.

If the people you hang with are boring people with alcohol, then they're likely boring people without alcohol. Hang with a better bunch of people. Mind you, that's not to say that one needs alcohol to be an interesting, social person. But you have to start with actually having a personality in the first place.
Is is a strange post? - if someone grew up in a country where 70 per cent of the population used marijuana, and claiming to use it in moderation, and you grew up in such a society, where if you didn't use marijuana at special occasions, or a few times per month they are viewed as odd or anti social - Where this marijuana was relentlessly advertised, encouraged to be used by everyone, where films and tv promoted it - where it caused large amounts of damage, but was still encouraged to be used.

What would you think of this sort of place, because alcohol comes from a bottle and has been around for a long time its seen as socially acceptable but really its quite harmful, and odd that so many people drink.

The original point of post was to say we live a very uptight, unfriendly, work obsessed, health conscious, corporate culture, every man for himself mindset that is everywhere - but at the same time curiously alcohol drinking is encouraged which goes completely against this type of mindset - that people cannot show any warmth or friendliness without drinking.
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Old 10-13-2012, 05:10 PM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,477 posts, read 17,718,573 times
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I don't think it's a strange post at all.
I think for the most part-for those I know-drinking when out or at one another's homes is the norm. Sad too really.

I was speaking to one of my good friends a few nights ago and she was saying how she,her hubby and son go to a bar once a week for the guys to shoot pool. Now she is not supposed to drink alcohol and was just in the hospital for 2 weeks for another reason but was told NO drinking alcoholic beverages. So anyway she was relating to me that while the guys were shooting pool that people were buying her shots of tequila. And this from 7pm until 1am and how for the next 3 days she was very sick. So I asked her why she drank and she said she didn't want to hurt people's feelings. To this I say,"BS!!!!". She wanted to seem social. She's a big girl-an adult who could just have easily said,"no thanks. Can't have liquor but you can buy me a coke or water." Easy enough.
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Old 10-13-2012, 05:29 PM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,188,633 times
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When we quit drinking 15 years ago, the neighbors quit coming around, and a lot of our friends quit coming around as well...you're right when you say that some people really can't seem to be comfortable interacting with others in a relaxed setting unless they have a drink in their hands....but it's all good, we each have our own vices, it just means that when we're invited to a barbecue we need to bring our own near-beers.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:59 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,229 posts, read 13,733,852 times
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I agree, there are lots of people who don't seem to be able to function around other people without drinking. In my town the bars are very sleazy so I don't like to go to them. The eliminates any place to meet and have fun. Some of my coworkers will have house parties but even at those it seems like most of the people who go have to drink heavily and it becomes a lot of work having to go to these things. While I'm not against drinking by any means and am not a teetotaler, I get very tired of being around people who need to drink excessively just to socialize.
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:28 AM
 
2,947 posts, read 2,881,675 times
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Me thinks someone has their face pressed up against the cold cold glass watching in from the outside a bunch of people dance, sing, kiss and be merry, all while letting the snow softly settle upon their head.

And just when the touch of Old Man Winter begins to wear heavily on the eyelids upon a shivering body, a clash, boom and a roar of laugher come from within overridden by the joyous scream of, "Hey everyone, Betty's get'm out!"

That's when you know you hit rock bottom. Good day
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Old 10-14-2012, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Southern California
12,632 posts, read 14,764,388 times
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I don't think it's a strange post.

curiosity123737, you hit the nail right on the head! If it were up to me, alcohol would be completely outlawed, especially since it causes way too many drunk driving accidents/killings. Plus, many people don't know how to drink in moderation, so we have a bunch of drunken idiots who I sure hope I never run into while I'm out & about. As you can tell, I don't drink. Never have & never will. It does seem that everyone HAS to drink to have fun. Why is that?! They say, well, it's just having fun & to loosen people up. That's the problem! If everyone has to be loosened up to have a good time, that's pretty horrendous! People are so STUPID, allowing a liquid to have control over them.
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Old 10-14-2012, 11:45 AM
 
8,012 posts, read 8,167,091 times
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More people seem to be more socially anxious then I thought judging from the experiences of the posters that have responded on this thread.
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Old 10-14-2012, 12:07 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,939,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curiosity123737 View Post
Is is a strange post? - if someone grew up in a country where 70 per cent of the population used marijuana, and claiming to use it in moderation, and you grew up in such a society, where if you didn't use marijuana at special occasions, or a few times per month they are viewed as odd or anti social - Where this marijuana was relentlessly advertised, encouraged to be used by everyone, where films and tv promoted it - where it caused large amounts of damage, but was still encouraged to be used.

What would you think of this sort of place, because alcohol comes from a bottle and has been around for a long time its seen as socially acceptable but really its quite harmful, and odd that so many people drink.

The original point of post was to say we live a very uptight, unfriendly, work obsessed, health conscious, corporate culture, every man for himself mindset that is everywhere - but at the same time curiously alcohol drinking is encouraged which goes completely against this type of mindset - that people cannot show any warmth or friendliness without drinking.
First, I don't agree with your contention. I attend plenty of social gatherings where people don't drink at all or drink perhaps a glass of wine or a bottle of beer. So that tells me you must hang with people who drink too much. But that hardly befits the sweeping generalization you made.

I can't remember any social occasion where I saw people pressuring others to drink. Maybe I just have a more accepting crowd.
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