Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I live in the Washington DC area and work for a very successful technology firm with lots of very hard working, successful people who are quite accomplished. Many of these people have advanced degrees from Ivy League Universities, all the right friends, live in very fancy expensive homes and just have the look and style of success. I live on a street of very successful people who make lots of money, etc.
It is not like the mid sized town I grew up in Oklahoma. There were very few successful people in that town, instead, most everyone was struggling to live a middle class lifestyle. People in my hometown in Oklahoma were just folks.
Do you interact much with the top ten percent, as far as education, income, high status jobs, fancy homes, etc? Do you think most of them are very discriminating on who they will talk to in a friendly way? Do they size you up and quickly determine if you are worthy of their attention? Or do you find most people who are successful career wise and economically understand we are all in this together and have superior social skills and will chat with the middle class folks as well as their wealthy neighbor?
I normally don't really care how others (strangers) perceive me so I never spend big bucks buying things to impress people. I literally drive the oldest car in my office parking lot because it works and I have no reason to pay big bucks if this one does its job. As someone with multiple advanced degrees, I don't necessarily discriminate against those who are not very well educated but I tend to find it quite difficult to relate with them.
As for talking with people who are more successful, you just do it. I don't care if they brush me off or anything. A lot of times, I've attended conferences in my industry with a speaker who is (somewhat) famous. I'll just waltz right up and speak with him/her if I feel like it.
I think some do, but not all do. I really think a lot of this has to do with how a person is raised. I really try not to judge people and I don't think I am better than anyone else, with that said, I don't think anyone is better than me.
I think people should all be treated as equals. I know that this is not how it works.
Who do I interact with? Anyone. I do not discriminate. Young, old, rich, poor. Who is my friend in this area where I don't know anyone? A sweet girl from Oklahoma who married my SOs best friend.
We are 2 women plopped into an area that is highly populated and nothing like the more country area that we are used to. I live in Northern Virginia. There are some of everyone. Race, amount of money made, everything. I am used to having to drive 30 miles to get to the mall so this...this is crazy.
I have no problem talking to anyone. I do not like to approach people who look like they may attack me verbally, however...lol.
Here's something to think about. People who are in the upper 10% tend to be there because of good people skills as much as professional accomplishment.
People who are in the top 10% are not radically different than people in the other 90%. They deal with uncertainty, they have kids to raise, they have health problems, they work hard, they have joys and they have disappointments. They are not unapproachable and the vast majority are really pretty nice people.
That being said, people tend to befriend those with whom they have something in common. So the key to dealing with people is really finding common ground and building on that.
Some of that happens naturally, not even because people are better or worse than anyone, but because people tend to live with and associate with their peers. It's hard not to.
For the sake of discussion, it seems most people who blow their own horns a lot about success or education, are the first generation in their family to achieve comparatively high education or success (by whatever benchmarks the measurements are compared with). That's great for them, and you can't fault people for being proud of major achievments. It's just that other people may have been brought up with the unspoken assumption that they would achieve those things, so when they do, it's viewed as a milestone, more than a status symbol.
Note that I use "success" instead of "money", because people can be equally snobbish or standoffish as a byproduct of status associated with a position, publicity, or a "cause", even though those may not earn the person a huge amount of money.
I think the rich live so much differently than most of us. I always get a kick out of going through the stores that attract the financial elite (or at least people who spend like that) and look at the price tags. $300 Neck Ties, $1000 dresses, $300 Sun Glasses and $100 haircuts. If you spend money like that you want to be seen differently than most everyone else and don't want to deal with the little people.
I think Washington DC is a bit different from the rest of the country. I used to know people who worked there and they basically summed it up like this: You don't have friends in DC, you have people who can do you good. If they can't do you good, they're no longer your friends.
As part of my work, I deal with people who have advanced degrees, many from Ivy League schools. I find it's a mix. Many of them worked their way up to their position and are approachable, but some won't say hello to someone of a "lower" rank, even after working with them repeatedly. I just stopped saying hello. And they don't even like work related conversation such as clarifying what they've asked for if it's not obvious. But it's not always tied into background. I've worked with people from famous, prominent families who were easy going and pleasant. One thing I noticed is the heads of the companies I've worked for have all been pretty approachable.
I'm towards the middle of the education spectrum in my workplace. While I'm not always in the mood for small talk outside the office, I do make it a point to be social at work to everyone. I'm really bad with face/name recognition, so I'll say hello or at least smile and nod to be on the safe side, even though I'm not even sure some of the people work for the same company (we share one of our floors with another company). I don't want to snub anyone at work.
People tend to hang out with people they feel a connection with or that make them feel comfortable. I tend to like all different kinds of people. I'll talk to anyone, doesn't matter who they are. Everyone is important. And I don't measure success by the amount of money a person makes or what kind of designers they wear. In the end, that means nothing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
