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Old 10-02-2012, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Europe
1,618 posts, read 2,772,728 times
Reputation: 1100

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I am going to tell you the story a friend... just to get an opnion.

I had a friend (a guy) who is a sport massager, he studied for it a couple of years ago and he asked us (his friends) to be his "customers" so he can improve technics and we can get a massage for free, and we did it, he even had a kind of cabinet and a special couch for that, everything apparently professional.

The first times it was all right with us, but after a year we felt like he was doing more intense massages, until one day, 3 months ago, he was massaging me and he started to touch more than he must do it, I was feeling completely uncomfortable, his legs massage were up to the sexual zone, etc.

I was feeling quite angry and telling him not to do that, relying on the fact maybe I was just nastyminded (cause we were friends since 3 years) when some mins later he lied down on me and tried to kiss and lick me, I suddenly said NO and I had to put him away abruptly.

The following day I was talking with my friends (the girls) about this, and 2 of them warned me about they also felt uncomfortable with him the last time they went to his cabinet but not up to these extreme, so since that day we all feel a disgusting feeling about him and we've stop communication.

As we live in the same town, sometimes we've run into him or even see him in social networks where he was quite rude (aftes all this mess)

My question is: am I very exagerated about cuting friendship? or should I fo further and warn more people about the purpose of his "job"? How would you feel if a friend does this to you girls?

I don't have too many people to talk about this with (except the other friends and "victims") and I just wanted to know, by the way, I don't feel like recovering friendship anymore.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:21 PM
 
13,773 posts, read 14,594,205 times
Reputation: 11467
steer clear of him for sure. I would tell any lady who asked me if he was good at his job that you would not recommend him. if they asked why I would offer my experience. the other option is to confront him, tell him what he is attempting to do borders on or is sexual assault and he could be arrested and charged.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,187 posts, read 14,953,306 times
Reputation: 18248
Quote:
Originally Posted by hothulamaui View Post
steer clear of him for sure. I would tell any lady who asked me if he was good at his job that you would not recommend him. if they asked why I would offer my experience. the other option is to confront him, tell him what he is attempting to do borders on or is sexual assault and he could be arrested and charged.
I agree. This is someone who has a problem and I would stay as far away as possible. Does he have paying customers? I would really be concerned about minors who might use his "techniques". You don't need friends like him! He would probably deny that this was happening but whatever you felt it was to you is what counts. I think he may have some "fetish" issue.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,776,739 times
Reputation: 4425
You need to avoid this guy like the plague. He evidently has boundary issues and doesn't realise that No means No! And if you are uncomfortable with anything he's doing he should stop immediately and you need to leave. If he has actual paying customers he could get into a boatload of trouble if he doesn't learn now where the line is.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,319,180 times
Reputation: 39846
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catbelle View Post
I am going to tell you the story a friend... just to get an opnion.

I had a friend (a guy) who is a sport massager, he studied for it a couple of years ago and he asked us (his friends) to be his "customers" so he can improve technics and we can get a massage for free, and we did it, he even had a kind of cabinet and a special couch for that, everything apparently professional.

The first times it was all right with us, but after a year we felt like he was doing more intense massages, until one day, 3 months ago, he was massaging me and he started to touch more than he must do it, I was feeling completely uncomfortable, his legs massage were up to the sexual zone, etc.

I was feeling quite angry and telling him not to do that, relying on the fact maybe I was just nastyminded (cause we were friends since 3 years) when some mins later he lied down on me and tried to kiss and lick me, I suddenly said NO and I had to put him away abruptly.

The following day I was talking with my friends (the girls) about this, and 2 of them warned me about they also felt uncomfortable with him the last time they went to his cabinet but not up to these extreme, so since that day we all feel a disgusting feeling about him and we've stop communication.

As we live in the same town, sometimes we've run into him or even see him in social networks where he was quite rude (aftes all this mess)

My question is: am I very exagerated about cuting friendship? or should I fo further and warn more people about the purpose of his "job"? How would you feel if a friend does this to you girls?

I don't have too many people to talk about this with (except the other friends and "victims") and I just wanted to know, by the way, I don't feel like recovering friendship anymore.

ALWAYS ALWAYS follow your gut instincts - they are there to protect and guide you

What this man did was EXTREMELY inappropriate and unprofessional.

I know when something like this first happens to someone, the first response can be to minimize it because you are in such shock it happened at all. It's like you don't want to believe it because then you have to deal with it.

Only you can decide how far to take this - but I would hope you would do something to prevent him from being able to victimize other women.

Either file a complaint on him with the police, or find out who the licensing agency is that granted him a license and complain there.

Ignoring what he did is NOT the right thing to do though.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Europe
1,618 posts, read 2,772,728 times
Reputation: 1100
Thanks people for the answers.

I don't know if he already has paying customers, in case he has I don't know if he has the same behaviour or not, but still, I feel like I have to warn other people about this although I don't know too many friends of him.

By the way, this guy was always obsessed with good appearance, specially women, he was always comenting when a girl has cellulite, when other one has to lose weight etc... and he is a sport addict.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:57 PM
 
Location: La Mesa Aka The Table
7,447 posts, read 7,987,845 times
Reputation: 8469
Invite him out to starbucks and confront him.
Let him know your feelings and that what he did was not ok!
what ever you do just don't do anything.
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Old 10-02-2012, 02:59 PM
 
Location: DFW
6,793 posts, read 11,725,976 times
Reputation: 5148
Maybe leave him an anonymous note at his place of business politely expressing your discontent with his behavior.
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Old 10-02-2012, 05:59 PM
 
679 posts, read 1,048,061 times
Reputation: 1111
I wouldn't bother confronting him about it because he clearly has no boundaries.

It's up to you, but a report to the licensing agency may be appropriate if you feel like going through with it. I'd block him from any social networks and I wouldn't acknowledge him at all if I saw him in person
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Old 10-02-2012, 08:52 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,189,044 times
Reputation: 11862
What he's doing is of course misleading/inappropriate. He should probably be advertising for other types of services. Whether to keep the friendship depends on his character overall.
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