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Old 10-04-2012, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,886,572 times
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Sometimes the invite list has to be limited due to the size of the facility, etc. I have a second cousin who was just married recently. My parents and I got invited, but some other aunts and uncles didn't (my dad is one of twelve kids, so it's a huge extended family). The bride's family was also quite large. There's only room for so many people, so I wouldn't sweat it.
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:05 AM
 
679 posts, read 1,048,618 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Your parents should look at it like they just saved a couple hundred bucks on a gift.

The guest list might very well have been determined by the bride and groom themselves, as it should be. If they don't know your parents well, there was no reason to invite them.
Yep, this is a good way to look at it and a very likely explanation.

Though the parents of the bride and groom shouldn't have discussed it so extensively at the OP's parent's Christmas dinner. Betty and Jill had plenty of other opportunities to discuss the shower outside of the Christmas dinner. It really should have waited until a time when just the 2 of them were getting together. Between that and the other wedding related discussion, it sounds like Betty, Jill and possibly Bob monopolized the conversation with wedding talk. Which was rude enough, but especially rude given they weren't inviting the OP's parents. But who knows? Maybe they thought they could invite the OP's parents. But if the couple are paying for it or the bride's family, they may have turned around and gave Betty & Bob a guest list limit.

One couple I was friends with in college talked a lot about their wedding and originally intended to invite me. But when they were looking at the hall capacity, they had relatives and closer friends who pretty much filled the place up. So I wasn't invited. I sent them a card to congratulate them (I was a poor grad student at the time, otherwise I'd have sent a gift too) and I asked them about the wedding/to see photos when we next got together. I didn't harbor any ill feelings. Some people who were closer to them from our mutual circle of friends got invited. I felt a little weird about that, but the reality is some friends are closer to each other than others. It was fairly easy to accept that and overcome the feeling a little weird about it.
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Old 10-04-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: New Market, MD
2,093 posts, read 2,608,809 times
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We were just two on an instrument (so together most part of the day) and had been around for several years. He didn't invite me when he got married but invited other people from workplace whom I thought he spoke or knew even less. It didn't bother me as I hate weddings and was going to decline it anyway. We are still friends although he moved to a different place two years ago.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:04 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,203,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Worrying about this stuff is the hobby of crazy people. Don't fall into it. Wedding invitation lists are weird, and the way they are determined is pretty arbitrary. Your parents stopped speaking to these people - perhaps it was BECAUSE they are the type of people that do this kind of thing that they were excluded. When someone has a habit of behaving punitively, it has a distancing effect on the other folks in their social circle. I suspect they contributed heavily to this situation themselves.
My parents are good people and the fact lesser friends were invited and not my parents speaks to the nasty behavior of this couple. The wife isn't a very nice person.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:10 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,505,812 times
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Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
My parents are good people and the fact lesser friends were invited and not my parents speaks to the nasty behavior of this couple. The wife isn't a very nice person.
Then why, if this woman is not a very nice person, do they even care about being friends or who gets invited to the wedding? Walk away and be happy.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:11 PM
 
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A few things that I didn't mention:

1. My parents always bent over backwards for this couple. My mom would make extra food for them to take home for their daughter and would always do favors for them. The reason is they thought they were friends. Sure they didn't see them as much as the other couples but the group of them would get together often.

2. Before this my parents had no idea the other couple thought of them this way. Like I said they thought they were all friends.

3. My parents knew the couple getting married but many of the people the groom's parents invited didn't know them at all.

4. The groom's mother is stuck on herself and thinks the world of herself. I never especially liked her but my parents did.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:13 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,203,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aragx6 View Post
I think this is nuts. Everyone my mother knows in the world didn't get invited to our wedding -- we needed to keep it small and we were paying for the bulk of it. Your parents sound like wildly oversensitive people, and you obviously have a very odd jealous streak based on your non sequitur about the son and his great job and wife.
Of course I am jealous, I graduated from college and grad school with a 3.7 hoping to get a job in public relations. He spent all college by his own admission drunk and hungover and graduated with a 2.1 yet he got a public relations job. I am 41 and never married, a feeling I hate, and he is 10 years younger and married. So yes of course I am jealous why wouldn't I be?
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:14 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,032,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
A few things that I didn't mention:

1. My parents always bent over backwards for this couple. My mom would make extra food for them to take home for their daughter and would always do favors for them. The reason is they thought they were friends. Sure they didn't see them as much as the other couples but the group of them would get together often.

2. Before this my parents had no idea the other couple thought of them this way. Like I said they thought they were all friends.

3. My parents knew the couple getting married but many of the people the groom's parents invited didn't know them at all.

4. The groom's mother is stuck on herself and thinks the world of herself. I never especially liked her but my parents did.

You are seriously caring about this issue way more than you should be. It is none of your concern, it is your parents choice to deal with it how they please, find a new hobby and get on with your life.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:14 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,203,191 times
Reputation: 5893
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Then why, if this woman is not a very nice person, do they even care about being friends or who gets invited to the wedding? Walk away and be happy.
Because they thought they were friends. I didn't think she's a nice person but they liked her. She was one of the most judgmental people I have ever met.
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:16 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,203,191 times
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Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
You are seriously caring about this issue way more than you should be. It is none of your concern, it is your parents choice to deal with it how they please, find a new hobby and get on with your life.
My parents have moved on, they don't speak to them and I say good riddance.
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