Hearing from a few family members some bad things...

[GoldyViolet]

Is her parents, your sister and her husband in recovery or are they still dealing with their own addictions?

[exscapegoat]

Originally Posted by Asheville1

I have a couple "s**t stirrers" in my rather large family. I've been dealing with the drama for decades. A few years ago I had had my fill of it. When a relative started talking about another relative, I pulled up my cell phone and said "Hold on, I don't like to have conversations like this without giving the accused a opportunity to defend themselves. Let's make this a 3-way call". That stopped him dead in his tracks. Slam, bam. Done. As you might expect, this person I says I can no longer be trusted. I can no longer be trusted. What a flip!

I understand your concern for a family member who may be in serious trouble. My suggestion is to meet with them privately and spend some quality time with them and when the momen is right, reach out to them and sincerely tell them how you care about them and if there is any time they need you, need to tell you anything, need any help, etc., you'll be there for them. Tell them they're not alone. Perhaps that will give them a opportunity to open up to you.

This whole post is awesome! I come from a family of triangulators. I'll say "perhaps you should speak to so and so about it" Or "we're not hearing both sides" when it's about 2 third parties arguing. But I love the 3 way call line, I'm stealing it!

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by GoldyViolet

Is her parents, your sister and her husband in recovery or are they still dealing with their own addictions?

I have no idea what is going on with my sisters ex husband, I could never see him in rehab. He has a drug addiction. I know that when I was just in middle school, they would be using cocaine and marijuana. I have no idea what he is on now, all these years later.

I do not know what my niece may be using or if she is using. At this point, it is here say. My cousin and niece are close, like friends. I am sure she is concerned for her. Once again, she has been known to embellish.

My sister has an alcohol addiction. She knows she has it, and says she has it, but I do not think it is something she would ever try to stop. I have seen her slow down, but then pick it back up. Her now husband is severely addicted to alcohol. He wakes up and he starts drinking and does not stop all day.

[brokensky]

I am confused. If family members are so concerned, why are they all gossiping instead of going directly to the parents?

I mean - that was sheer gossip - all of it. So why did they bend your ear and expect you to pass the info on instead of expressing their concern to your sister, themselves?

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by anifani821

I am confused. If family members are so concerned, why are they all gossiping instead of going directly to the parents?

I mean - that was sheer gossip - all of it. So why did they bend your ear and expect you to pass the info on instead of expressing their concern to your sister, themselves?

I have no idea. I think people don't want to go to her or to my sister and by saying something to me, feel that I have to go to my sister over my own concern.

In my family, people are ok with doing the talking about people, but then don't want to step on someones toes.

If someone tells me something I keep it, I don't spread it. With that being said, I couldn't let it go if my niece may possibly be in danger.

I also think they told me because they thought I may know more...... Like my aunt and uncle asking me what was going on with her. They probably thought I knew more because of my sister.

I have answer for this, truly.