Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Some people DO mean it when they ask "How are you?" In fact, the only time I greet someone that way is when I truly wander how they're doing. How they want to answer it is up to them. But I'll agree that a simple, "Hi, Jack!" or "Hi, Jill!" sounds more genuine.
I left my job 3 months ago, and in the card that everyone signed one co-worker wrote, "One of the things I really liked about you is that whenever I asked how you're doing you never said 'Fine'." Of course, I can't write on here what some of my answers were. On the other side of this coin, ask me how I'm doing and you might not like the answer. LOL!!!
"I'm well, thank you. And how are you?" It's a ice breaker.
Have you a better idea, or would you prefer to throw a hand grenade in the place?
Where do you work in Human Resources? The USPS?
Do you know when there is a job opening at the USPS?
The flag is flying at half mast.
Yep, I sense a bit of a anger issue here. A bit tooo hostile.
And what if I'm not fine? What if my father has just past away? What if I just lost my job? What if my wife has had a miscarriage should I respond with I'm fine then? It's funny how everyone is jumping on the OP about this. Let's be honest folks, when most of you ask this question to someone you hardly know, you could give a crap about how they actually feel. There are better pleasantries out there "Hi", "hello", "good morning Tim", "Good afternoon Jason".
And what if I'm not fine? What if my father has just past away? What if I just lost my job? What if my wife has had a miscarriage should I respond with I'm fine then? It's funny how everyone is jumping on the OP about this. Let's be honest folks, when most of you ask this question to someone you hardly know, you could give a crap about how they actually feel. There are better pleasantries out there "Hi", "hello", "good morning Tim", "Good afternoon Jason".
and well then if you aren't "fine" just respond with,"could be better"
I worked at a company years back and the owners wife came in often. As she was leaving one day my co-worker said to her,'have a great day!".......the owners wife went ballistic and yelled,"why do people say have a great day? That is THE stupidest thing anyone could say. Why say it??" and demanded an answer.
Sheeeeeeeeesh ..............some people need to just chill. If that had been me she yelled at she would not have had such a great day after all
Most people assume you're having an "ok" day - an average day. If it's a terrible day and you don't think that you're sufficiently intimate with the person to share the gory details is it REALLY that hard to simply respond "I'd really prefer not to talk about it right now, but how are things with you?"
They're making an effort at a connection, for crying out loud. You're really going to get offended because they don't have sufficient emotional investment in your reply?
When a clerk at the grocery store asks how I'm doing while he's ringing up my purchase, he's generally trying to make conversation at a time that can be mundane or even stressful. And I'm not a downer of a person for the most part, so it's kind of nice to dig for something positive.
Tell me, OP, does taking offense at these little attempts at social nicety by the people around you actually make YOU happier in general? Or does it - as I suspect it must - just add to your misery and depression? Between this post and your Christmas rants, you seem like a terribly unhappy person. What are you doing to change that?
A dear friend told me that while going thru/ chemo (for the cancer that would eventually kill her) . . . she suddenly became aware of people casually asking her "How are you today?" or "Hi, how are you?" She said she had never realized how often we ask that as just a way to connect, be polite . . . she said at first, it hit her as though they somehow secretly knew she was fighting for her life, and she found herself wanting to say - "I am not doing very well. I have what is probably terminal cancer."
She said she realized that of course, it was simply a pleasantry and no one wanted to actually hear about her life struggle! So she decided she would always say "Doing well, thank you. And you?"
I do have to wonder why it would hit anyone as a question that has some special meaning to it - as it IS simply a greeting, a way to be pleasant, acknowledge your presence, whatever! And like my friend (RIP - she died in 2006) . . . most of us never even think about saying "how are you?" - it is JUST a greeting.
Don't you remember when you started learning a foreign language? What were the first conversations?
Hello! How are you? Fine, thank you. And you? I am fine.
It is called . . . good manners. That's all.
In a world which is rapidly losing all sense of civility, it seems a real shame that people would get hostile over a simple greeting.
I'm a cashier and literally greet every single customer with "Hello, how are you?". So when I read the thread title, I was worried that other people shared the same annoyance with the phrase.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
