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Old 10-07-2012, 11:39 AM
 
676 posts, read 1,052,182 times
Reputation: 1121

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
"I'm sorry - just stepped out for a moment - I have something on the stove."

"I can't talk now - I really have to get this done. I have an appointment at X o'clock."

"Wow, I'm sorry I can't help you. You should probably talk to your husband/see a professional."
These are all good ones. Also, if someone's asking you a really nosy or intrusive question, a stock reply can be "Why are you asking" in a friendly, cheerful voice. If that doesn't do it, a more firm "I don't care to discuss that" followed by friendly topic change may work.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:53 AM
 
Location: FL
353 posts, read 484,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
Anyone have examples?

For some reason even if you are in a suburb, some neighbors tend to be be nosy or appear just when you are home from work, or getting the mail in your mailbox.

Has anyone had an issue like this and what do you do to just point it out.
In the suburbs where my mailbox is a walk down the driveway, I find it happens alot more than in the city, where everyone kind of just goes about their business and doesnt come running over to talk.

Idle small talk-

Oh, yes. As much as I hated calling the cops, I had to. The guy next door kept playing crazy music next in his car that he has parked next to my door. Every Sunday afternoon i would lay down after working 50+ hours a week, he kept going boom-boom... It got out of hand. Anyways, do not try to fix it yourself, go to the apartment main office and just complain. If that does not work, call the local PD and have some kind of proof.( I took a video with my iphone and showed it to the officers). The guy next door got busted, they gave him warning. I have not heard anything since. Also, police asked me if I wanted to file the report, I said no, what they have done is enough and thanked them. We do pay taxes, the police is there for you when you need them. Do not be afraid to pick up the phone.
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,364 posts, read 7,911,249 times
Reputation: 53461
We have great neighbors and since we have no family it's a good idea that our neighbor has a key to our house and is willing to help out with our dog once in a while. I'm block mom here and half of the shorties are with me a lot. We have a good life and it worries me that we won't have this when we retire and move.
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Old 10-07-2012, 01:14 PM
 
676 posts, read 1,052,182 times
Reputation: 1121
Aside from my mentally ill neighbor (as in spitting at people, throwing things out windows doors & jumping from a window to escape the police/EMTs), I have pretty good neighbors. One neighbor, Catastrophe Carol can be a bit invasive of boundaries, but that's partially due to me not being knowing a lot about boundaries when I moved here. Basically, we'll greet each other, occasionally go out and take in each other's mail/water plants, feed cats while people are on vacation.

Catastrophe Carol may have anxiety (as I do). She's always worrying about weird stuff, like the big tree in front of us crashing down during storms. She was also worried that my air conditioner would become a projectile during Hurricane Irene and wanted me to take it out, as she took her air conditioners out. It was installed by a guy from the appliance store who seemed to know what he was doing and bolted into the window. If it came loose, we'd have much bigger problems than my AC as a projectile. And she is convinced that the mentally ill neighbor, who used to bbq a lot and liked to watch the flames go high was going to set the evergreen tree near my bedroom window, where the ac is, on fire, thus starting a fire which will burn us out of a home, if not kill us outright. But the bbq area is set well away from the trees and on a concrete block. I might worry during a drought season about flying embers, but not otherwise. She also was convinced a flickering entryway light which needed to be replaced because it was burning out was going to spit out sparks and start an inferno.

And I'm kind of anxious and a worry wart about possible dangers, especially anything to do with fire. So, if I'm not worried about it, that saying a lot! I've learned to just end the conversation when she starts with the catastrophic scenarios. They make my own anxiety worse.
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Old 10-07-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
2,276 posts, read 3,076,777 times
Reputation: 7017
Catastrophe Carol...

LOL! Almost every neighborhood has one. A crazy or a needy neighbor. I go out with a ready excuse, throw some random response that's gonna require some thought or processing and I keep moving.

All in all our neighbors have been great and helpful when we needed it, take in packages, watch the house that kind of thing (we reciprocate and have made good friends) with very rare exception.
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Old 10-07-2012, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 13,977,460 times
Reputation: 25884
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
Anyone have examples?

For some reason even if you are in a suburb, some neighbors tend to be be nosy or appear just when you are home from work, or getting the mail in your mailbox.

Has anyone had an issue like this and what do you do to just point it out.
In the suburbs where my mailbox is a walk down the driveway, I find it happens alot more than in the city, where everyone kind of just goes about their business and doesnt come running over to talk.

Idle small talk-
YOU are an example of why neighbors don't get to know each other like they did in decades past. And, yes, that's a bad thing. Not everyone is gregarious and social. In fact, my husband is the social bird, not me so much. But I will make time to talk to a neighbor who makes the effort to walk over and talk. It has nothing to do with nosiness, but all to do with being neighbors. Don't think for one minute that there won't come a day when you'll need help from one.

Keep in mind, too, that a true nosy neighbor is also the watchdog. They'll be the ones who notice something in among the 'hood not right and either check it out themselves or call 9-1-1
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Old 10-07-2012, 05:41 PM
 
676 posts, read 1,052,182 times
Reputation: 1121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesmama View Post
YOU are an example of why neighbors don't get to know each other like they did in decades past. And, yes, that's a bad thing. Not everyone is gregarious and social. In fact, my husband is the social bird, not me so much. But I will make time to talk to a neighbor who makes the effort to walk over and talk. It has nothing to do with nosiness, but all to do with being neighbors. Don't think for one minute that there won't come a day when you'll need help from one.

Keep in mind, too, that a true nosy neighbor is also the watchdog. They'll be the ones who notice something in among the 'hood not right and either check it out themselves or call 9-1-1
There's a difference between this:


and this:


The latter is why some people don't want to be bothered with small talk. Wilson stays on his side of the fence and offers sage advice when asked for it Gladys is in everyone's business and spreading rumors about the Stevenses. There's a reason why one is liked and the other is not.
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Old 10-07-2012, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 13,977,460 times
Reputation: 25884
Quote:
Originally Posted by exscapegoat View Post
The latter is why some people don't want to be bothered with small talk. Wilson stays on his side of the fence and offers sage advice when asked for it Gladys is in everyone's business and spreading rumors about the Stevenses. There's a reason why one is liked and the other is not.
Ah, but the OP didn't say he had a neighbor like the one at the window. He said that "they" come up to talk to him when he comes home, and I'd be wiling to bet that they were probably outside in the first place.

I'd much rather have the neighbors come up to me to talk out front than peer over the fence. My back yard is my privacy.

And most neighborhoods do have an ultra-nosy neighbor that likes to get in others businesses, or like to complain about everything (and those have never lasted in our 'hood). But I think the OP is generalizing everyone around him/her, and maybe that person does need to live apart from people.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,767,146 times
Reputation: 8838
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Do you live in my neighborhood? I have lived in many neighborhoods and my current neighbor is probably the most nosey bizarre woman I have ever met. It kind of bums me out because this is my favorite house and neighborhood we have ever lived in. When we were moving in I saw her staring out the window watching us. My husband noticed her and we just kind of chuckled about it. Chalked it up as someone being curious which is normal. The next day she came over and introduced herself. I wont ever forget our first meeting because it was early march, very chilly and cloudy out. She wore sunglasses and I couldnt help but feel it was an attempt to hide her eyes from me. She asked me very intrusive questions. The type you might ask someone after knowing them a long time. She quizzed me about my employment. I told her I was a stay at home mom and then proceeded to ask me if I was ever going to get a job, how long I have ever worked and so forth. She did this every time we talked and really started to tick me off. One time she bugged me about the job thing and I mentioned an interview I had scheduled at a local university. She said, "oh as a professor?" Umm no. I explained it was in one of the offices. She seemed disappointed. I now work at home and she probably still thinks Im some free loader that doesnt do a damn thing all day.

I tried to avoid her but much like your setup, my mailbox is at the curb and a good stretch from my front door. She seemed to run out her house everytime I was out there. Sometimes I cringed getting the mail. Again with all the questions. Then she would inform me of who the other neighbors were, what they did for a living, how many kids they had, who was a jerk, who was doing this or that. She has nick names for all the neighbors which are unflattering. "That is where the fat people live", "Those are the black people" and so on. Makes me wonder what nick names she has for us.

She is also a pointer. I really hate that. She would point at houses and give me the low down on who lived there and so forth. I really tried with this woman but she is a trip. I have never met anyone in my life that I have absolutely zilch in common with. Can't talk about our kids because her parenting style is different than mine. Cant talk about decorating because its a waste of money. Politics are a big no no. She is ultra conservative and Im a moderate but I feel like a bleeding heart liberal talking to her. lol. Tv? Nope she doesnt watch tv and only allows her kids to watch PBS once a week. Eating out? Nope, that is a waste of money and she only eats at home. Books? We dont like the same. Music? She is a huge Barry Manilow fan and well.... I wont go there. Its almost amazing that I cant find one morsel of common interest with this person.

She started inviting us to BQs at her house and has the worst hostess skills ever. We would politely decline hoping she would get the hint. Never seemed to work and we felt bad for saying no so much. Her husband is a great guy. Again with intrusive questions and some are really offensive IMO. Like when she asked me if I had been a teenage mom. Ummm noooo. Why would you ask someone that? Im 40. She is my age. Its not like I look 18 or something. So after 4 yrs she finally figured out Im avoiding her. Now she kids wont even wave to me or they ride by on their bikes looking scared to talk to me. I know she has bad mouthed me to them. Mother of the year. So I just avoid as much as possible. Her husband will stop and chat with us but he looks over at his house too much. You can tell he knows he is being watched. She definitely rules the roost. My other neighbors kind of keep to themselves and after some time and getting to know them a little, all the gossip I heard from nosey neighbor is so off base it makes me wonder if she sits around just making stuff up in her head. She is best friends with a woman down the street. They are a little clique. Reminds me of high school.
omg.

Is this the one who is an R.N. also?

This one here knows every single divorce, story etc. And yes where others who "arent from here" have moved in.

Most of the others are okay though. A young couple who bough the house next door to me are more mature and they are 30 years younger than her,lol.

Its weird how some suburbs people are more in your face than in the city. I guess its because many just sit home all day.
She sits in the sunroom next to my driveway most of the day, while I have a large yard she always manages to be out when I am with the dogs outside.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,767,146 times
Reputation: 8838
Quote:
Originally Posted by exscapegoat View Post
There's a difference between this:


and this:


The latter is why some people don't want to be bothered with small talk. Wilson stays on his side of the fence and offers sage advice when asked for it Gladys is in everyone's business and spreading rumors about the Stevenses. There's a reason why one is liked and the other is not.
Yes, thats what it is.

Thanks
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