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Old 10-09-2012, 05:23 AM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,580,121 times
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The older you get, the more important family will become to you. Keep communications open, they will become invaluable after 25. Before 25 most people don't get it.
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Old 10-09-2012, 05:26 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,283,819 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pammyd View Post
I am one of 5 children...all girls and in the "pecking order" I am in second place. No, I do not consider any of my sisters my closest friends. With all of the siblings in my family being female, there has always been tons of competition and still at age 64 almost 65, it hasn't stopped. I haven't seen the oldest sister for probably 4 years, the one below me probably for 5 years, then the 3rd one just moved out of town to a fairly well to do area (she can barely afford it) and all I hear from her is on Facebook or texting occasionally and my youngest sister lives a 5 minute walk from here and we are going on 3 years not seeing one another. Why?? I don't know. I have called them, invited them over..never hear back and I have given up trying.
I'm glad to know it's not just my family. I'm almost at the point of giving up, actually I guess I do that now, I am passive/agressive so never tell anyone how I feel, I just avoid them. It's so hard to be friends with your siblings, even if you love them b/c they are your siblings. People can be so different even within the same family and basically same upbringing. Nature does trump nuture.
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Old 10-09-2012, 05:31 AM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,580,121 times
Reputation: 26195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pammyd View Post
I am one of 5 children...all girls and in the "pecking order" I am in second place. No, I do not consider any of my sisters my closest friends. With all of the siblings in my family being female, there has always been tons of competition and still at age 64 almost 65, it hasn't stopped. I haven't seen the oldest sister for probably 4 years, the one below me probably for 5 years, then the 3rd one just moved out of town to a fairly well to do area (she can barely afford it) and all I hear from her is on Facebook or texting occasionally and my youngest sister lives a 5 minute walk from here and we are going on 3 years not seeing one another. Why?? I don't know. I have called them, invited them over..never hear back and I have given up trying.

About 4 years ago, I had serious upper thoracic surgery for an aortic aneurysm..very dangerous and I had to make sure they all knew because this condition is hereditary so I called them. They were all on the phone with me constantly, three of the four came to the hospital the day of surgery. There were no guarantees I was going to be coming out of the surgery ok...scarey stuff. Anyhow..not ONE of them came to help my husband with my after care, nor did my son and his wife show up. It was "head for the hills"...his family was no better.

I don't know what is wrong with family sometimes. My husbands Mom and his youngest sister who lives with her have not set foot in our home for 10 years or better. No one seems to want to bother with us and we can't figure out why.

We do live well, have a beautiful home and I have not had to work since I married my much younger husband. People can assume anything they want about us and about me but look at that word "ASSUME" That's right..when people assume they just make an ASS out of U and ME..right?

So...we gave up...got us a Pit Bull and adopted two kitties...I think everyone is more afraid of the two kitties than the Pit..LOL...life goes on!
Wow that is sad. I have to ask though...You do realize you are the common denominator between all these various family members. Give some thought to how approachable you are. I hope you find the closeness....it seems you're bitter that you don't have it. Here is what I'd suggest. Call each one weekly, including your Son..just to BS...it will work guaranteed. I'm 60....I lost my only sister this July...We had rough spots, we lived States apart....but we lost our mother 02' and the last 12 years we talked nearly weekly, did things when I got home to visit...I would give anything to still be able to call her up and just talk.
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:31 AM
 
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I have one brother and one sister, we're all close in age, im the oldest and we are extremely close.
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,350 posts, read 19,764,096 times
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My only sister is 10 years younger and she is one of my best friends.
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Old 10-09-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Dallas area, Texas
2,285 posts, read 2,934,789 times
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I'm the oldest of 4 children and am not close to any of the others.

My dad was controlling and abusive, and I refused to be controlled and abused. So, the others shunned me at his request and continue to do so even after his death.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,290 posts, read 7,866,319 times
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My brother is my only living relative besides his grown daughter that doesn't want anything to do with him or me. I haven't seen him in over ten years and haven't a clue where he is by choice. I married a wonderful man with the family from hell. I always wanted some kind of family life. No happy ending here except for some really wonderful friends and my dog.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,236 posts, read 13,947,442 times
Reputation: 25884
My situation is a little unique because my brothers are 18 and 21 years older than me. They are elders now.

And they adore me. As I do them. But we're from entirely different generations and have led different lives, so they don't really relate to me all that much. We're close and we aren't. But I don't live near them, so I don't deal with them on regular basis.

But they married their spouses long before I left home, and I've had my own contentions with one of the wives. Still do, although she has mellowed. I do my part to get along, although I'm glad I don't live near her.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:55 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,013,554 times
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I did until high school then we took different paths in life and I have never felt the same about my brother.
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:09 PM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,730,551 times
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I have one sister ( Identical twin) and this is it. We were adopted, she is ten minutes older than I however ever since we were very young it has always seemed as if she was ten years older…
We fight, we love, we disagree and agree..whatever occurs? She is my best friend no matter what..
As cruel as she can be at times, she is bipolar I am not..and she has been on some cycles however I understand her more than anyone in this world, she is half of my heart…
The thought of losing her makes me lose my breath and she feels the same..
It is a strange bond..it is like feeling everything twice, it is knowing she is not guilty of what she is being accused of because I know her inside and out..
She and I share our children, she has 3 I have one but yet they have 2 mothers..
I speak to her in some way everyday (Phone, text, in person) Or I have a feeling and I call her and we have a heart to heart, She holds my dearest secrets and I hers..
She is me and I am her, not sure you will understand..
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