Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ever since I have been with my husband (six years), I have purchased Christmas gifts for his family (adult children, mother, sister). Rarely ever is it reciprocated by them. They do give my husband gifts, and I do get a thank you (from all but one of the children). Should I just stop going to the effort? I usually do gift cards so they can get whatever they want, and I bake goodies for them. So it isn't like I am giving them crap gifts! Should I care what they will say/think if I just don't get them anything anymore?
Why don't you and your husband focus on getting them one 'family' gift and not each individual person from each of you. It saves a lot of expense and expectation of reciprocation and since it was given from the both of you there is a stand of unity. I am one person who used to buy individual presents for my brother-a family of four. If you want to count that's 4 to 1. I started buying them 'family' gifts like a good telescope and things like that where the whole family could do it or use together. Now that we are all grown, we don't exchange gifts anymore. The only thing I do is buy a special ornament for everyone for their tree.
I might keep the baking up because they are your huband's family and you don't want a fued, but I definitely wouldn't spend money buying them all gift cards when they don't get you anything and barely say thank you. I can't believe they don't get you anything...that's incredibly rude. When I was married I always received Christmas and birthday presents from my husband's family.
Why don't you and your husband focus on getting them one 'family' gift and not each individual person from each of you. It saves a lot of expense and expectation of reciprocation and since it was given from the both of you there is a stand of unity. I am one person who used to buy individual presents for my brother-a family of four. If you want to count that's 4 to 1. I started buying them 'family' gifts like a good telescope and things like that where the whole family could do it or use together. Now that we are all grown, we don't exchange gifts anymore. The only thing I do is buy a special ornament for everyone for their tree.
None of the inlaws live together, so a group gift wouldn't work.
Send everyone (each person) a Christmas card with a photo of your family in it. Or send a Christmas card along with some cookies. If no one is reciprocating, it sounds to me that they don't want the responsibility of having to buy your family gifts, so why bother?
If no one reciprocates this year (again), then next year pare down to just the Christmas card.
This all brings up the question of why you are giving them gifts. Is it because you're a generous person and you want to wish them well at the holidays, or is it because you feel obligated or want something back in return? If it's the first, then continue what you've been doing. If not, then send them a card or make a charitable donation in their name and be done with it.
Send everyone (each person) a Christmas card with a photo of your family in it. Or send a Christmas card along with some cookies. If no one is reciprocating, it sounds to me that they don't want the responsibility of having to buy your family gifts, so why bother?
If no one reciprocates this year (again), then next year pare down to just the Christmas card.
Yep.
'cept I would just send a card this year.
Painfully obvious that they don't give a s&$@!
Funny thing:
My in-laws never send me crap, and I'm thankful for that.
A few years ago when money was rolling in the house via wheelbarrows, we sent a realy nice wreath to THEM.
We arrived on Christmas Eve, and it was clear that she had just dragged it out of the box and hung it up.
If you are already doing the baking for other people then maybe, maybe continue that. But I know first hand how expensive and time consuming doing holiday baking can be - especially if you are doing a variety of cookies, etc. So if you are doing this out of obligation, then just send a card because they obviously feel no obligation to you.
Can't believe they buy your husband gifts but don't do anything for you. That really is rude. You've had a lot of patience doing anything for as long as you have......
My son didn't receive a card or anything from my brother and sister in law for years - she would make comments that it was his job since it was his nephew and that she always took care of HER nieces and nephews.
Then they adopted. And suddenly she was johnny on the spot to start sending cards (with money because by that time our son was 16 years old). And I magically get a wish list each year when her birthday rolls around. Funny how that works.
This all brings up the question of why you are giving them gifts. Is it because you're a generous person and you want to wish them well at the holidays, or is it because you feel obligated or want something back in return? If it's the first, then continue what you've been doing. If not, then send them a card or make a charitable donation in their name and be done with it.
Normally, I'd agree with that. But they are giving a present Rebel's husband and not her. That's thoughtless at best, and quite likely a snub. If finances are an issue, then a couple gift or family gift (if they have kids) is more appropriate. It's rude to buy for a child or sibling and not the person's spouse.
Rebel if you enjoy the baking and it's not extra work and you won't resent them for it, then by all means give them baked goods. But I'd stop with the gifts. Also, I'd let your husband know you won't be doing it any more in advance so that he has time to do it if he chooses to take on that task.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
