If someone cuts in front of you the line/queue (guilty, meeting)
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If someone cuts in front of me I always say something, and I adjust the politeness, sarcasm, and harshness according to the individual. I take that little extra effort to individualize my response, and I hope they appreaciate it
I sometimes say something if someone butts in front of another person. But it's only when I get the sense that the person feels intimidated or is otherwise unable to stick up for him or herself, like a very elderly person, a child, or someone who looks visibly distressed and unable to speak up. I especially have a soft spot for feeble-looking little old men and little old ladies.
Otherwise, it's between those two people and I stay out of it. The above survey didn't allow for this "sometimes" answer.
I don't really care. If you are so desperate that you feel the need to have to cut me in line to get those items checked out, obviously you need it more than me. Go right on ahead. It's not worth acknowledging or blowing a fuse over.
It completely depends on the situation. Like yesterday, a woman tried to cut in line. I was next and then she rolled up (in a single line multiple register situation). I was debating on doing the death stare, walking over to where she was standing and informing her of the line situation. And then another cashier opened up and took me. And someone who was standing near her told her where the line started. Well since I was being helped, technically she was after me, so it became a moot point.
Generally, in most situations, I usually comment along the lines of "the line starts over there....." Most people apologize profusely and hop in line. If they seem nice, I might let them go ahead.
But let's pretend it is a situation where there is a big line (let's say for a movie or an event) and someone tries to do the "merge" and bypass the line. Well I cut them off. Too bad for you trying to buck the system. That does not fly with me at all. And I will subtlely block your path as well.
I have had a few parking lot confrontations.
This one was pretty funny. It was one of those busy strip malls, and I paused because someone was pulling out of a parking spot. I had my signal on, and was waiting for them to pull out so I could take the spot. Some middle-aged woman comes out of nowhere, cuts me off and steals the spot. I was really irritated, as she almost hit me, trying to take the spot. I thought it was ridiculously rude. So after I parked, I actually had to walk by while she was getting out of the car.
me: Excuse ma'am, it was extraordinarily rude that you cut me off and nearly hit me to secure the parking spot.
her: I didn't see you stopped there waiting for the spot
me: you should be more observant and polite next time
Then I went into the coffee place. Being a "scary" black woman and all *rolls eyes,* when she walked in, she looked extremely scared to get behind me and avoided looking at me the whole time. I obviously made her really uncomfortable. It was really hilarious. I bet she had never been called out on stealing a parking spot.
My other parking lot incidents were much scarier......
Another one, similar thing, I was waiting for a spot and was clearly visible. A car comes up from the other direction, and speeds up to block me from pulling in. The only way I could finish parking was to hit his car (and vice versa for him). The car moves out of the way, and one of the passengers gets out of the car in my path so I would literally need to run him over to pull into the parking spot. After at least 5 minutes of this guy not budging as I pulled up on him very slowly, I could not get in the parking spot. Obviously, I am not the type of person to run someone over -- I surrendered the spot. And was obviously POed. Later the same evening we ran into that guy, and my friend who was there called him out after his fake apology. He said he would buy us drinks to make up for it, and obviously we declined his offer. What a jerk!
I am not really confrontational, but I really hate rude behavior. My aunt always said the best way to get back at people like that was to call them on it in a polite way. Along the lines of "my parents taught me it was rude to do that." Usually it puts them in their place real quick. So I usually point out their behavior politely. And if they refuse to budge then I call them on it (obviously this applies mostly to adults). Kids it is a little trickier. I notice that many kids apparently aren't learning the common courtesy manners, so if it seems appropriate, I might correct them, if it won't be misconstrued. Probably has to do with the fact I have southern parents, and you know how that is. You can get punished by your whole block for bad behavior, it takes a village.
Jade, it's good that you bring up parking lot etiquette in this discussion. It's similar to line cutting but the stakes are much higher because vehicles are involved!
Years ago (2001 to be exact) I was going to a mall on Black Friday. I had with me my girlfriend and her neighbor's 10 year old daughter. We were going to be meeting the rest of the girl's family in the mall. My girlfriend at the time was EXTREMELY volatile. A bomb waiting to go off. Anyway, as I crept through the lot looking for a space, I noticed one woman loading her child and purchases into her car, so I crept up, put my turn signal on, and waited. Suddenly I hear a horn blaring behind me. I look in my rearview mirror and there is this guy in an SUV behind me yelling at me. I shrugged it off. He persisted on the horn, even leaning out of his window and shouting at me. A younger man in the passenger seat was doing the same.
I waited nonetheless and when the woman finished up and pulled away, I parked. We received hateful vibes from the vehicle as they passed and I thought that was the end of it. WRONG! As we neared the mall entry, we heard someone shouting at us and as I looked, five people approached us. It was a whole Samoan family, two men and three women. Mama immediately got into my girlfriend's face backed by her daughters, while father and son got in mine.
"All we wanted was for you to keep moving."
"All I wanted was to wait for a parking space."
Anyway, it devolved from there, my girlfriend doing everything in her power to escalate things. Nobody actually got punched. Threats were made. People in each other's faces. The poor neighbor girl just watched in terror. Thankfully mall security happened upon us and split us all up.
I remember asking my girlfriend what she was thinking. It was 5 on 2 and the two men were both pretty big. It was a good thing the mall police dropped by. Fortunately we did not see those people inside. I have not been Black Friday shopping since. I didn't even want to go that day!
There's a polite and forceful way to do it, and I would do it in both cases - if they cut in front of me, and if they cut in front of a person that either showed exasperation OR couldn't express themselves - elderly, language difficulties, etc.
I'm sure that, at concerts or similar events, doing this has led to fighting. However, that has yet to happen to me.
Mostly what I've seen is that people end up PARALLEL in a queue and they just ask each other "Who's ahead of who?" and negotiate it.
I admit, much to my shame, in the past I've just let them do it. Maybe it's no big thing. Of course sometimes if I see if someone has say only a couple of things at the grocery line I let them go through, but if someone unwittingly cuts in, or does it on purpose, I've probably bit my tongue more than I've spoken out, which is a couple of occasions. I guess it's part shyness and non-assertiveness, especially when it's a big scary looking guy who does it lol. I know I shouldn't be afraid to speak up, though.
Another question is. If you saw someone cut in front of someone else, would you say something? Let's assuming that person was not 'saving his spot.' I can say on at least on occasion I have called them out for doing so, but I don't know if I'd typically do so.
It seems that a lot of people, probably most, would just pretend nothing has happened. I guess we humans can be pretty timid creatures.
Oh yes I do. I absolutely do. I am not quiet about it. I find it highly disrespectful and I do not buy the excuse, "Oh! I didn't know you were waiting in line!" One look at me should be enough to realize I'm waiting in line but the biggest thing is, ever tried the "thoughtful" approach and ASKED THE OTHER PEOPLE YOU SEE THERE if they are waiting in line?
And yes, if I have a full cart and someone behind me has three items, I'll tell them to go ahead. Ninety nine percent of the time they'll take me up on it. Sometimes I get told, "Oh it's ok." I tell them, "I'm gonna be awhile, ample warning...you sure you don't want to cut in front?" They typically reply with, "I have no place to be right now so it's ok". Well, I tried. But that's cool.
And yes, I do call people out when they do it to others, as well. I should say, I have. Sometimes I don't because they have mouths, they can open them and speak up for themselves.
I admit, much to my shame, in the past I've just let them do it. Maybe it's no big thing. Of course sometimes if I see if someone has say only a couple of things at the grocery line I let them go through, but if someone unwittingly cuts in, or does it on purpose, I've probably bit my tongue more than I've spoken out, which is a couple of occasions. I guess it's part shyness and non-assertiveness, especially when it's a big scary looking guy who does it lol. I know I shouldn't be afraid to speak up, though.
Another question is. If you saw someone cut in front of someone else, would you say something? Let's assuming that person was not 'saving his spot.' I can say on at least on occasion I have called them out for doing so, but I don't know if I'd typically do so.
It seems that a lot of people, probably most, would just pretend nothing has happened. I guess we humans can be pretty timid creatures.
Yes
No...depends
Last edited by HomeIsWhere...; 10-12-2012 at 07:00 PM..
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