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When I visit our east coast office the workers there are always talking about their marriages, kids, who they're dating etc. I'm a very private person and I don't talk about my personal life with work colleagues. The most I'll talk about is movies, TV or food, nothing personal.
How do you guys behave at work? How do you deal with people who talk about personal stuff all the time?
You turn around and go back to work or if you are on lunch you continue to eat your lunch and don't respond. They will get the message eventually and leave you alone.
You turn around and go back to work or if you are on lunch you continue to eat your lunch and don't respond. They will get the message eventually and leave you alone.
I had one job where it was me and the admin in the room most of the time. She used to gossip on the phone all day...I limited my interaction with her to "good morning" when I came in and "good evening" when I left. I stay the hell out of office politics and gossip.
I stay in my office, and if I'm not actually busy, if someone somes by to chat, I make sure I look really busy. No one here knows much about my personal life at all, and I plan to keep it that way. There are some people that have shared WAY too much of their lives with me, and that's only in the 4 minutes it takes me to walk into the kitchen, get more coffee, and leave.
I call them "compulsive disclosers" and you can find them in many habitats, but in recent years they've shown an increase in their population in the habitat called Facebook.
When I visit our east coast office the workers there are always talking about their marriages, kids, who they're dating etc. I'm a very private person and I don't talk about my personal life with work colleagues. The most I'll talk about is movies, TV or food, nothing personal.
How do you guys behave at work? How do you deal with people who talk about personal stuff all the time?
I'm a teacher and we have very limited time when we are not with students. There are about 50 staff members in my building. There are some staff that I see so rarely that I probably couldn't pick them out in a line-up. I don't know anything about their personal life. Now a few teachers you see more often and I at least know a few basic things about them, if they are married, if they have kids, etc. Now your closest friends at work you may know personal facts about but mainly because you may see each other after work.
During a typical work day you may be lucky to have five or ten minutes (usually at lunch) to talk about anything besides curriculum or students. It would be surprising if someone said something more personal than "My husband and I am going to see (name of movie) this weekend" or "My daughter, Sarah just got into Harvard." Now if it was a close work friend you may discuss a little more and give more details but not to a work aquaintance.
At least where I work it is not a problem because there isn't any extra time for people to talk about personal things.
I am a private person and don't talk about my life like that, so I would be like you and not say much, maybe just pop into the conversation if something is brought up that you can say something about. There is always the option of telling them that you do not talk about your private life, but that may be awkward.
You turn around and go back to work or if you are on lunch you continue to eat your lunch and don't respond. They will get the message eventually and leave you alone.
This is what you do. By not responding, they will get the message.
I am a private person and don't talk about my life like that, so I would be like you and not say much, maybe just pop into the conversation if something is brought up that you can say something about. There is always the option of telling them that you do not talk about your private life, butthat may be awkward.
Quite a few years ago (when people still had parties) I invited a bunch of my fellow teachers to a big party that my husband and I were having at our house. One of the teachers (sort of a team teacher with me) was rather hoidy-toidy and aloof with most of her co-workers but was quite friendly with me. She lived in one of the fanciest , richest neighborhoods in our area.
After I invited her to the party, she replied in a rather condescending voice, "Oh, I never socialize with teachers, but if I did, I would consider attending your party."
If you do tell people that you perfer not to talk about your private life, try not to do it in the same way that my co-worker did to me. She made me feel like dirt under her $300 pair of high heeled shoes.
Change the subject. It'll take experience I guess to sneak your way around it, like if they're talking about how they hate their boyfriend because TMI-blah-blah-blah, you can say "Love Stinks is a really funny movie, that just reminded me of that!" They may eventually get the message and stop talking because you keep changing the subject.
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I stay the hell out of office politics and gossip.
