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Old 10-22-2012, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,580,882 times
Reputation: 2475

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Exactly. I've never had any "friend" who was like this but if it happened one time, that "friend" wouldn't be dining out with me again. It's not being cheap...they are stealing money from me and stealing services from the waitress cause they don't tip. None of my "friends" would do this.
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Old 10-22-2012, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Edmond, OK
4,037 posts, read 9,163,720 times
Reputation: 4174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
That's what I think it comes down to. If you leep having experiences when people are order expensive drinks and big dinners when everyone else is ordering sandwiches and sodas and then won't kick in the extra, why on earth do you go back again and hang out with those people? How can you complain when you know what the deal is before you even go out?
I used to work in a very small office. We would often go out to lunch as a group. There was usually about 5 or 6 us. Most of us were living paycheck to paycheck, all but one girl who didn't need to work at all. She was single and had a huge trust fund that paid for her large condo, Porsche, designer clothes etc. The only reason she worked was because her parents made her work.

Anyway, when we would go out, most of us would order a salad or sandwich and either a water or soda. She would order a drink, appetizer, soup or salad, full meal, like a steak or something, and usually dessert, plus she would always order things like extra dressing, sour cream, salsa, whatever. All those things that can run up a check. When the check would come we would all calculate how much we owed, including tax, plus a good tip. Everyone but her. She would put in the menu price of her food and often not all of it, leaving off all her extra charges, no tax, and if we were lucky she would put in a 5% tip. When we would say something to her about not putting in enough money she would say something "I ordered the appetizers for all of to share". Um, none of us wanted them or ever touched them. All the rest of us were getting sick of it. We didn't have the money to be picking up her tab all the time. After one time when I ended up paying almost $20 for a burger and a glass of water (this was in the 80's), we all agreed that we would never go anywhere with her again if they wouldn't give us separate checks. We would ask before we were ever seated if they give us separate checks and if the answer was no, we would walk out.
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Old 10-22-2012, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,580,882 times
Reputation: 2475
Why didn't you guys stop going out with her? Just because you work together doesn't mean you have to go out for lunch. I don't want to dine with someone so rude and inconsiderate, and separate checks wouldn't make me want their company more.
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Old 10-22-2012, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,695 posts, read 4,075,093 times
Reputation: 6220
Quote:
Originally Posted by helloimage View Post
I have a life not reading 17 pages worth of people whinning . I was a waitress, trust me we thought YOU were stupid when you asked for separate checks.
Let's see:

- You're too important to read pages worth of people explaining the circumstances under which they'd ask for separate checks.
- So your conclusion is that we're whining...btw, your "having a life" should include learning how to spell.
- You were a "bad" waitress by your own admission. Is that b/c you laughed at people you thought were stupid?
- When I went out to lunch on Friday, the very FIRST thing the waiter asked is if we wanted separate checks or together? That is almost always the first question they ask before they ask for your drink order. We're not talking a high end restaurant, but nearly every restaurant asks that, so are THEY stupid for asking or are WE stupid for accepting the choices?

The overall consensus of the people who thinks its stupid are clearly not exposed to this option apparently ever. Some of us are usually presented with the option. Your opinion seems off base and rather rude. Is THAT the reason you were a poor waitress?
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Old 10-22-2012, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,695 posts, read 4,075,093 times
Reputation: 6220
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
Why didn't you guys stop going out with her? Just because you work together doesn't mean you have to go out for lunch. I don't want to dine with someone so rude and inconsiderate, and separate checks wouldn't make me want their company more.
Babee, sometimes, when it's work related eating, the option is "to get along" and "not make waves". Most of us, I think, make pretty good decisions for our personal life but sometimes we get roped into things. We live and then we learn.

But with work, I have often been to lunch with people I don't necessarily care for. How does this happen? Well, I ask person A who already had plans with person B. They seem ok but a couple more persons are invited because they, too, wanted to eat out that day. All of a sudden, you're dining with 4 other people and you don't want to make waves. It's a weird dynamic...you're not familiar with everyone...you may not be so close to those folks to you don't want to rock the boat. Trust me, this is not the battle to have at work...there are just so many others that you pick and choose.

Just sayin', it's not always a situation that is pleasant...having separate checks in these instances is the better way to go. Also, I've noticed I'm a way better tipper than my lunch mates...I'd like to be responsible for myself, not them.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,582 posts, read 54,188,638 times
Reputation: 65731
Quote:
Originally Posted by debzkidz View Post
I used to work in a very small office. We would often go out to lunch as a group. There was usually about 5 or 6 us. Most of us were living paycheck to paycheck, all but one girl who didn't need to work at all. She was single and had a huge trust fund that paid for her large condo, Porsche, designer clothes etc. The only reason she worked was because her parents made her work.

Anyway, when we would go out, most of us would order a salad or sandwich and either a water or soda. She would order a drink, appetizer, soup or salad, full meal, like a steak or something, and usually dessert, plus she would always order things like extra dressing, sour cream, salsa, whatever. All those things that can run up a check. When the check would come we would all calculate how much we owed, including tax, plus a good tip. Everyone but her. She would put in the menu price of her food and often not all of it, leaving off all her extra charges, no tax, and if we were lucky she would put in a 5% tip. When we would say something to her about not putting in enough money she would say something "I ordered the appetizers for all of to share". Um, none of us wanted them or ever touched them. All the rest of us were getting sick of it. We didn't have the money to be picking up her tab all the time. After one time when I ended up paying almost $20 for a burger and a glass of water (this was in the 80's), we all agreed that we would never go anywhere with her again if they wouldn't give us separate checks. We would ask before we were ever seated if they give us separate checks and if the answer was no, we would walk out.
And she was the person with money! Amazing. Goes to show that money can't buy manners.
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,582 posts, read 54,188,638 times
Reputation: 65731
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
Not all Jewish people keep kosher. I was raised in a kosher house, so I continue to observe kashrut as an adult.
I know. I've lived in NJ for all of my 50+ years and worked in NYC for 30+ of them!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I still can't believe you stumped up $50 for appetizers and a beer.
I can't either, but in fairness, I was originally in on the order of crabs, which we were all going to share except for the one person. Once we got them and I opened one up, I realized I wasn't going to be able to eat them.

I am not so petty and small a person that I was going to make a fuss over not paying just because I didn't like what I'd ordered, especially when out with people I didn't know well except for one. Chalked it up to lessons learned, and that was fortified the next day when two others realized the woman who'd put the dinner on her check had ripped everyone off.
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:07 PM
 
679 posts, read 1,047,717 times
Reputation: 1111
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
Babee, sometimes, when it's work related eating, the option is "to get along" and "not make waves". Most of us, I think, make pretty good decisions for our personal life but sometimes we get roped into things. We live and then we learn.

But with work, I have often been to lunch with people I don't necessarily care for. How does this happen? Well, I ask person A who already had plans with person B. They seem ok but a couple more persons are invited because they, too, wanted to eat out that day. All of a sudden, you're dining with 4 other people and you don't want to make waves. It's a weird dynamic...you're not familiar with everyone...you may not be so close to those folks to you don't want to rock the boat. Trust me, this is not the battle to have at work...there are just so many others that you pick and choose.

Just sayin', it's not always a situation that is pleasant...having separate checks in these instances is the better way to go. Also, I've noticed I'm a way better tipper than my lunch mates...I'd like to be responsible for myself, not them.
Yep, plus there's the who knows who game. If this co-worker was wealthy, it's likely she had connections. Perhaps her parents know the owner of the business and she was hired as a favor to the parents. Or perhaps she's even the daughter of clients of the business. If either of those scenarios are true it could come back to bite the rest of the co-workers in the butt if they leave her out of things. Not fair, but that's the way it works sometimes.
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Old 10-22-2012, 01:07 PM
 
380 posts, read 544,982 times
Reputation: 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
Let's see:

- You're too important to read pages worth of people explaining the circumstances under which they'd ask for separate checks.
- So your conclusion is that we're whining...btw, your "having a life" should include learning how to spell.
- You were a "bad" waitress by your own admission. Is that b/c you laughed at people you thought were stupid?
- When I went out to lunch on Friday, the very FIRST thing the waiter asked is if we wanted separate checks or together? That is almost always the first question they ask before they ask for your drink order. We're not talking a high end restaurant, but nearly every restaurant asks that, so are THEY stupid for asking or are WE stupid for accepting the choices?

The overall consensus of the people who thinks its stupid are clearly not exposed to this option apparently ever. Some of us are usually presented with the option. Your opinion seems off base and rather rude. Is THAT the reason you were a poor waitress?
LOL you guys take discussion forums waaaayy to seriously.
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Old 10-22-2012, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Asheville NC
1,597 posts, read 1,303,609 times
Reputation: 4127
A good article on "Check Etiquette"--

Check Please! - Etiquette
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