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Old 10-16-2012, 01:05 PM
 
1,470 posts, read 1,701,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jodipper View Post
A relative has common blood. You MUST have a common progenitor.

Cousin's spouse, not a relative.

Step anything, not a relative. Thus the word "step".

Aunt's husband, not a relative. You call them uncle, but their not. Easier than saying "hey aunt's husband".

Sibling's spouse, not a relative, thus the words "in-law"

The only exception is people adopted by relatives. They count. If you die intestate, they have right to inherit. The others listed above do not. An example would be aunt is dead, her husband is passed over, and cousins get your money.
I thought this too, but some people claim they met their friends/step/in-law so young that it really doesn't make a difference. They say they are almost like relos anyway.

Personally, I wouldn't.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:09 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 66,998,726 times
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Your Aunt is entirely wrong about stepchildren being included in the family tree.

Anyone who knows anything about genealogy knows that the members of a family tree consist of legal relationships, i.e., what "issue" came from each marriage or coupling. (that would mean - bio or adopted).

You stepcousins have their own family tree, which would show their mother and father as being married at one point in time, and they would be the "issue" of that union.

On your family tree, your Aunt would be listed as well as any husbands that she had children with, and then those children would be recognized as "issuing" from that union. In addition, you would want to list her present husband, with the dates of their marriage (and when either of them dies, of course). But no, it would be totally outrageous for your Aunt to "claim" some other woman's children as hers on the family tree, lololol. I mean . . . really. Her stepchildren have their own bio parents - and she is not one of them!!!

Now as far as how people treat one another when there are stepchildren in the family mix, that is all up to each family. I have stepchildren and they are treated as grandchildren by my parents - no distinction. But they are not listed on our family tree - they are listed on their MOTHER's family tree. Their mother would be highly insulted if I tried to claim I had birthed her babies and I would not blame her!!!!
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Old 10-17-2012, 08:04 AM
 
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Yes, we consider step-children relatives in our family. Whether or not we're particularly close to them doesn't really matter. I'm not close to all of my blood relatives either.
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Old 10-17-2012, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,268 posts, read 19,729,636 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j7r6s View Post
yes, we consider step-children relatives in our family. Whether or not we're particularly close to them doesn't really matter. I'm not close to all of my blood relatives either.
+1
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Old 10-17-2012, 01:48 PM
 
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I was over 18 when my father married his second and his third wives. I never, ever referred or refer to them as my step-mothers, they are my dad's wives or my dad's wife.
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Old 10-19-2012, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,308 posts, read 59,575,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I do think it's nice she is close to them but I feel she is trying to include them in things they have no business being in, like the family reunion.
Wow, that's so narrow-minded. Why would they have no business at a family reunion? Their father is a member of the family, and they are his children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jodipper View Post
Aunt's husband, not a relative. You call them uncle, but their not. Easier than saying "hey aunt's husband".
I vehemently disagree with this. The spouses of my parents' siblings are every bit as much aunts and uncles to me as my parents' siblings. They have loved me since before I was born, and I love them all equally (most of the time ).
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Old 10-19-2012, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Edmond, OK
4,037 posts, read 9,161,412 times
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It kind of depends on the situation. My SIL married a man that had 2 preteen kids, which he had custody of. She raised them as her own, and my kids considered them cousins. No, they weren't family by blood, but they were family in our hearts. It was really sad when SIL and this man divorced, because we lost touch with the kids, who were at that time in college.

Now, my sisters MIL was a widow and she remarried, after all her children were grown and gone. She married a man with several teenaged grandchildren about the same age as my kids. My parents were close to this women (sisters MIL) and considered her family. Okay. Nice lady but not really family. But they also considered her new husband and all his grandkids family too. We had a 50th anniversery party for my parents and I was trying to take a picture of my family. I didn't want pictures of those people. I'd never even met them before and I don't really have any pictures of our entire family together. My father insisted that all those people be in our picture because he thought they were family. I was furious. That was several years ago, but it still makes me mad. I happened upon those pictures just yesterday, and there is this nice picture of my parents, hubby and kids, sister & BIL and their kids, then all these other people whose names I don't even know.
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Old 10-19-2012, 05:38 PM
 
738 posts, read 964,669 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
Wow, that's so narrow-minded. Why would they have no business at a family reunion? Their father is a member of the family, and they are his children.


I vehemently disagree with this. The spouses of my parents' siblings are every bit as much aunts and uncles to me as my parents' siblings. They have loved me since before I was born, and I love them all equally (most of the time ).
Loving them has nothing to do with it. You can love the non related spouse and hate the blood relatives but that does not make the non related spouse family. The point is what they are, not how you feel about it. I am sure that many if not most people have spouses of relatives that they care for more than some relatives.
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Old 10-19-2012, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,308 posts, read 59,575,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jodipper View Post
You can love the non related spouse and hate the blood relatives but that does not make the non related spouse family. The point is what they are, not how you feel about it.
Your definition of family must be stiflingly narrow. I'm very sorry for you if you can't open yourself to people who are not related to you by blood enough to consider them family.

How I feel about it is how it is, period. If I say someone is a member of my family, they are a member of my family. I don't give a crap who their parents were, or what you think.
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Old 10-20-2012, 06:31 AM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,436,097 times
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There are Blood Relations and there are the Extended Family relationship. I have blood relations that I have never seen, nor do I know their names. It doesn't matter one whit.

However, one of my sons has a step-son. This step-son has always been part of the family. Now he has given us our first step-great-grandchild. Do we ignore her because she is only a step-great granddaughter? Nope!
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