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I have a goofy aunt and to explain her would take another topic entirely. Basically she thinks life revolves around her. Anyway many years ago she married a man who had 6 kids and 4 of them were already married. The other two were 17 and 12 and they lived with him when they married over 20 years ago (both are now married I believe). Outside of the 17 year old who I very briefly dated (he dumped me when I wouldn't sleep with me on the first date)I have never had any contact with any of the kids at all. In fact I couldn't tell you their names, where they live or even what they look like. They have never had any contact with anyone in my family and no one cared because we never knew them.
Anyway, my aunt has always put them in family things. For instance when my grandparents both died (her parents)she included them in the obit, though my grandparents NEVER considered them grandchildren and my grandmother even told my mom she got mad at her daughter for insisting she buy them Christmas gifts. Not just that but these kids went over to the grandparents house after both died and took things they were never entitled to and she was separating things that should have gone to the blood grand kids (including her kids and my other cousins from an uncle). As you could imagine there was a lot of resentment from both her brothers because their kids were denied things that the grandparents wanted them to have.
Not just this but a cousin made a family tree and the aunt argued with her that her stepkids needed to be included. The one cousin got annoyed so goofy aunt took over and the family tree had more about these people than about the blood relatives. She had a family reunion and she included them as well. They didn't bring food but instead decided to eat all the other food that everyone else brought (most of them are obese). Now she is mad because I refuse to add them as relatives on Facebook. I told her I do not consider them relatives at all, why would I? Considering I met most of them once or twice I do not know them.
So would you consider them relatives? I'm not married but I know when I get married there will be anger when I do not invite them to my wedding but invite my other cousins (including her kids). Btw I like her husband a lot and do call him my uncle so there is no resentment, I just don't know the kids.
No, I wouldn't call them my relatives, but obviously your aunt considers them so, I guess the fact that one of them was only 12 when your aunt became their step mother could explain it...I personally think family trees should be for blood relatives, but with so many diversified families today, they could really get complicated...I think it's nice that she keeps in touch with them, and cares for them enough to include them in in family gatherings...
I do think it's nice she is close to them but I feel she is trying to include them in things they have no business being in, like the family reunion. Now id say the kids were all living at home and kids when they married I definitely could see including them in events as well.
My uncle's wife has children from another marriage that are quite a bit older than me and I'm not close to them, but I do consider them relatives. After all, they are through marriage.
In my family, I have a step-mother and a step-father. My step-mother's family has always been just as close to me as any of my/their other blood family and I consider them the same way. My step-father's family however, has no relationship with me. When I was a child I met them a handful of times, but I guess they didn't consider *me* real family, so we never had a relationship. I haven't seen or talked to or exchanged so much as a card with any of them since I was 13. They didn't accept my sisters either (my mom/step-dad's kids) because they are adopted. They are all about putting "blood" first. I am not. Their loss. I am not friends with any of them on Facebook. I did not bother to put them on my family tree either.
But yes, I would include step-relatives as relatives. On Facebook, in reunions, and on my family tree too. There are ways of showing step-relations on a family tree, so it's not even confusing. The "step" part has nothing to do with whether I consider them relatives, but the part about that you haven't met them or interacted with them might. I consider my step-mother's family to be my family just as much as my blood relatives are. And just as much as my sisters are too, even though they aren't "blood".
If I had contact with them I might feel differently but they have never bothered with my family because they probably felt we weren't really related. This is fine but I really resented my aunt for including them in the obits for my grandparents and including them in the inheritance because my grandparents never knew them either.
I have two step siblings that I don't consider family. I was grown and out of the house by the time they came into the picture, I've probably seen them a total of 10-15 times in the past 10 years. Even less in recent years, maybe twice in the past five years. They are okay people I just have never really had anything to do with them, so no - not family.
A relative has common blood. You MUST have a common progenitor.
Cousin's spouse, not a relative.
Step anything, not a relative. Thus the word "step".
Aunt's husband, not a relative. You call them uncle, but their not. Easier than saying "hey aunt's husband".
Sibling's spouse, not a relative, thus the words "in-law"
The only exception is people adopted by relatives. They count. If you die intestate, they have right to inherit. The others listed above do not. An example would be aunt is dead, her husband is passed over, and cousins get your money.
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