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Sorry, but that says a lot about your girlfriend. She should respect your feelings. It's your home, too. If she wants to put her things at risk, that's one thing, but she's being awfully cavalier about your concerns regarding your papers and possessions. I would have a problem with that if I were you.
I agree. It does say something about the op's gf.
Didn't really want to go there, but it's true.
Sorry, but that says a lot about your girlfriend. She should respect your feelings. It's your home, too. If she wants to put her things at risk, that's one thing, but she's being awfully cavalier about your concerns regarding your papers and possessions. I would have a problem with that if I were you.
GF thinks I'm making a big deal about this. So I'm curious what you think.
GF's sister will be house-sitting for 2 nights and just told us that a guy she's seen a few times will be over at our house for dinner while we're out of town. That probably means he's spending the night over and sleeping in our bed since they've had sex before.
I don't like it because it's some strange guy in my house with all my stuff/papers/etc. there, not to mention sleeping in my bed/sheets.
Do you think my GF is right that it's no big deal? She said I'm acting "crazy" for caring about this.
Btw, I never confronted the sister about this - just mentioned to my GF.
The bolded is the part that would concern me.
She can't know him well enough to declare him totally trustworthy, I would think.
If you can't/won't resolve the issue to your liking ,follow the already posted advice and lock up whatever you want to keep private/safe or cancel.
I agree w/ the OP. I wouldn't want some stragner in my house. He could be snooping/stealing small stuff even while the GF isn't looking. After all, she's not going to follow him all around the house.
Then, I'd tell her, not ask her that we don't need her to house-sit then!
I had a roommate once who didn't know boundaries. I couldn't really tell her to not have friends over as I also had friends over...BUT...I came home after a weekend away and found men's underwear IN MY BED. Which means not only was she and some random dude were in my bed but they also didn't bother changing the sheets. Biggest EWWW ever. I got a lock on my door after that. You just can't trust some people and find out after just how bad it is...
Had a friend years later watch our cats for a week when my husband and I went out of town. Found out he had met a girl the week before and that they consumated their relationship in our bed while we were gone...(yea, thankfully we were GONE! hehehehe) Just plain gross...
Another time, we went out of town and had a young friend watch our dog. We were only gone for 3-4 days but we made the hard decision to leave our puppy outside, with his dog run and kennel and such....hated for him to be outside but we trusted the girl 100% to love and feed our dog, play with him and even come over twice a day (she lived 2 blocks away) BUT we didn't trust her not to have over her weird boyfriend if we gave her the key to the house. We had to make a decision. Trust the girl to love the pets and take care of them...don't trust the girl to not take advantage of an empty house.
My advice is like everyone elses...I can't believe your GF isn't making a big deal out of this. Our home is sacred and if you feel having a stranger in your home is bad, then your word should be the end of it. Sorry if this sounds bad, but seriously, in the course of a relationship, you often give in b/c you see how important it is to the other person...especially if it's no big deal to you (GF).
Your GF is wrong, it is a big deal. Unless you don't have the ability to just lock the place and leave it for a few days, that's what you should do. Even if you issue the "no guests" warning, the sister is still going to have the guy over, because she obviously doesn't know any better. And given that your GF doesn't think it's a big deal, she'll probably tell the sister that it's OK when you aren't listening.
Also, since your GF seems OK with this, consider that she might have been the one who said it was OK in the first place. Then maybe she told you that the sister is the one who told her about it, so that you wouldn't be able to argue with your GF about it as easily, because she didn't "start" it. Some people minimize arguments this way, pretending that issues started with someone else. That way they become bystanders instead of stakeholders.
Your girlfriend isn't just showing poor judgement, she's being incredibly rude. Your place is home to both of you and even if she trusts her sister completely, it still would've been nice if she'd asked you first if you were okay with the sister having some guy over while you were out of town. Then at least you could've discussed it properly and made a decision together like grown-ups. It's the presumption that you'd be okay with it that bothers me - you both live there, at least have the courtesy to mention it before she gives her approval.
Sorry, but that says a lot about your girlfriend. She should respect your feelings. It's your home, too. If she wants to put her things at risk, that's one thing, but she's being awfully cavalier about your concerns regarding your papers and possessions. I would have a problem with that if I were you.
I agree with this. When you live with someone you should be in agreement about everything that affects the home and the things in it. Clearly she felt your opinion on this doesn't matter and wasn't important enough to ask you beforehand. I'm sorry, but to me that would be a red flag and cause for an argument. I would not have the sister house sit either, since she is not mature or respectful enough to know you shouldn't bring practical strangers to a home that is not yours.
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