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Old 02-19-2019, 08:50 AM
 
1,179 posts, read 432,605 times
Reputation: 1172

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
^THIS. I agree.

In my experience I've always been the one willing to do distance and the woman isn't. My current gf jokes that I should move to her small town, which she knows isn't practical. She also knows I want to end up back in Atlanta. For whatever reason, she hates Atlanta. Would I choose Atlanta over her? Probably, but thats because I don't feel or know yet if she's "the one". Its frustrating for me to be in this sort of limbo, but thats what it is now. We already do long distance (3 hours) and it would be pricier for us to do it if I move to Atlanta, but we have a lot to work through before I give her a ring (the only way she'd consider it).

Anyway, I know where your friend is coming from. We all have times in our lives where there's a fork in the road and we have to make a decision. I've historically made the wrong decision at that fork. I wonder what I'll do next time. Maybe I should be like George Costanza and make the opposite decision of my gut, because my gut is always wrong!
What do you have to “work on?” How long have you dated?
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Old 02-20-2019, 06:01 AM
 
Location: NJ
10,670 posts, read 21,344,566 times
Reputation: 8828
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep View Post
Hey guys! Wow, I did not expect a 7 year old thread to be resurrected lol! They broke up. He went out West to further his education, she stayed local (though I think she moved to Florida or something). He met someone maybe 2-3 years ago and they're now engaged. Crazy how life works out.
Thanks for coming back.
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Old 02-23-2019, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,547 posts, read 52,637,306 times
Reputation: 70794
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep View Post
I couldn't put together a correct title, I may change it later. Background story, a good friend of mine, one I consider a brother of mine, met this girl last year. They have been dating a year, they have taken a trip to Hawaii, my boy met her parents and spent a lot of time with them. They were both in love with each other.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, he does extremely well (98th percentile or something) on his GMAT, and he wants to go away to business school. Long story short, she doesn't want move away with him, while he feels like he needs to move forward with his life, thinking big picture, thinking that in the long run, they will be better off based on the decision or decisions he is making. I guess she didn't see it that way, she kept talking about (and who wouldn't, it's something that will arguably change their lives) and he broke it off with her. His reasoning is that he needs someone that can keep up with him, and I think that maybe he felt she was holding him down.

Either way...I consider this guy a great friend of mine, I kinda want to pick his brain to see where his head is at. I support him, but at the same time, I wonder if he might regret it later. He wanted to do the long distance relationship thing, but she didn't want to try it. IDK, I don't want to get involved, it's the last thing I want to do, but there's two great business schools in the area, he could have stayed local, kept his job, kept his girlfriend....

Curious to hear the boards thoughts on this. I am in a similar boat with my girlfriend. I barely see her during the week b/c we both work and she goes to grad school. Short term it hurts, but I see the big picture, and maybe my boy's girlfriend didn't see it that way. Who knows...

Edit: Thinking about it a little more, it looks like he chose his career over his girlfriend. Whether that's right or wrong, it's subjective IMO. He seems to be holding up.
She decided this when she refused to try long distance.
I think your boy is in the right. Anyone who would demand you not move away 1 year into a relationship that young is not being supportive...really, it's quite selfish and immature.

He seems very level-headed. I applaud him.
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Old 02-23-2019, 08:50 AM
 
1,280 posts, read 433,797 times
Reputation: 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep View Post
I couldn't put together a correct title, I may change it later. Background story, a good friend of mine, one I consider a brother of mine, met this girl last year. They have been dating a year, they have taken a trip to Hawaii, my boy met her parents and spent a lot of time with them. They were both in love with each other.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, he does extremely well (98th percentile or something) on his GMAT, and he wants to go away to business school. Long story short, she doesn't want move away with him, while he feels like he needs to move forward with his life, thinking big picture, thinking that in the long run, they will be better off based on the decision or decisions he is making. I guess she didn't see it that way, she kept talking about (and who wouldn't, it's something that will arguably change their lives) and he broke it off with her. His reasoning is that he needs someone that can keep up with him, and I think that maybe he felt she was holding him down.

Either way...I consider this guy a great friend of mine, I kinda want to pick his brain to see where his head is at. I support him, but at the same time, I wonder if he might regret it later. He wanted to do the long distance relationship thing, but she didn't want to try it. IDK, I don't want to get involved, it's the last thing I want to do, but there's two great business schools in the area, he could have stayed local, kept his job, kept his girlfriend....

Curious to hear the boards thoughts on this. I am in a similar boat with my girlfriend. I barely see her during the week b/c we both work and she goes to grad school. Short term it hurts, but I see the big picture, and maybe my boy's girlfriend didn't see it that way. Who knows...

Edit: Thinking about it a little more, it looks like he chose his career over his girlfriend. Whether that's right or wrong, it's subjective IMO. He seems to be holding up.

He made the right decision. I made the same decision 25 years ago when I headed to grad school.


With a 98th percentile on the GMAT, he's likely headed to Harvard, Stanford or Penn. He'll be running in those circles from now on. That's a life-transforming change, and it's tough to keep a relationship when one party goes through a life-transforming change like that and the other doesn't. The only downside is that aren't B-schools primarily men?
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Old 02-23-2019, 08:54 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,641,304 times
Reputation: 13548
My husband was planning to immigrate to America after he got his ph.d in my home country whether I came along or not. I chose to come along and has it been one of the best decisions of my life. I think in the posted scenario it is obvious they were not meant to be together, doesn't make either one of them bad.
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Old 02-26-2019, 03:48 PM
Status: "Excited to move to Vegas!" (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Beaverton, OR
5,542 posts, read 5,904,077 times
Reputation: 6341
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTimidBlueBars View Post
Committing to a life partner at 22? When I was 22 I couldn't commit to which Smash Bros. character I wanted to beat my friends' butts with.
Which one did you ultimately pick? Asking for a friend.

I moved 1,000 miles back to my home city for a girl, but it was a calculated move. I was already on my way out of my previous city, I didn’t want to be there, so I figured if it didn’t work out I’d move along to my dream city after. Her and I have lived together for 7 years and are getting married in September, then immediately off to our dream city She’s 25 next month, I’m 36, so sometimes you take the leap and it pays off.
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Old 02-27-2019, 12:26 PM
 
16,019 posts, read 19,670,751 times
Reputation: 26200
You said she didn't want to move with him, or do a long distance relationship. So....what choice did he have....Just because their are a couple of schools in your area, that doesn't mean he should stay for those schools.


Sounds to me like he made the right choice.


As for your choice....Have you made compromises for your relationship?? Obviously the girlfriend of your friend didn't make compromises.
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Old 02-27-2019, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,886 posts, read 25,316,043 times
Reputation: 26372
He wants adventure and challenge and she wants to stay home. They are not compatible and he did the right thing. He wants a great career and has worked hard to put himself in a great position to succeed. He has to be flexible and willing to go where the money is. She isn't.

And I would bet this is not the only area where they are not compatible.
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Old 02-27-2019, 12:45 PM
 
6,548 posts, read 2,362,084 times
Reputation: 15070
To me, it kind of seems like they both mutually agreed to step away from each other. SHE was unwilling to move, and unwilling to do the LDR. To me, it seems as pragmatic as HIS decision to move away for business school.


Seems to me, they both have come to the conclusion that the relationship has run its course.
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Old 02-27-2019, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Midwest
4,259 posts, read 7,144,741 times
Reputation: 7158
They are young. Getting a real education is important. Life's not fair, life goes on.

I was all set to apply to Smokejumpers school/job many years ago. Then I ran into a girl. That relationship didn't work out.

Funny little things make up life. I remember we'd been at some sort of an event, she had three kids, one a wee one of four or five maybe. It was night time, we were waiting to cross the street, cars coming this way and that.

The little one was next to me, suddenly he started to squirt out into the street. I grabbed him as a car came by. AFAIK he'd have been DOA if I wasn't there to grab him.
Maybe that was the purpose of that relationship, me there at one specific moment so he lived. Who knows how God's hand works?
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