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Old 10-21-2012, 01:31 PM
 
3,279 posts, read 6,601,927 times
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Definitely. I presently have two people in my life who I would consider friends. That is it and is about how many friendships I have maintained through my entire life- two or three.

My parents always treated me like there was something wrong with me when I was growing up because I never socialized with the others in my classes. I sat silently at my desk and concentrated on my schoolwork, just as I sit silently at my desk and concentrate on my work at my office job today. I have been considered dumb by many people just because I don't say anything or I am awkward when I do try to interact. Oh well, my boss knows I do a good job and that is all that matters really. Fortunately he sees through the fluff.

I find most socializing to be fake, just people talking about a bunch of nothing in an attempt to impress each other.

Who cares what other people think about you. I don't.
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Old 10-21-2012, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,531,320 times
Reputation: 16771
I myself am very much an introvert. If I need someone to talk to, theres the dogs and cats. They'll listen and respond. This is far better than being stuck with someone who is utterly boring. I have things I'm extremely interested in, and will talk for hours about them, but how many people are fasinated by the details of history or the intricacy of writing. Or exploring alternate histories. Or fantasy what ifs...

I had 'socialization' pushed on me. Didn't work. I got even more isolated after. I have friends, but aside from those met in fandom, the rest came off the net.

I find that people who love to be around other people find those who don't simply unfathomable.
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Old 10-21-2012, 08:17 PM
 
8 posts, read 12,554 times
Reputation: 34
Default Truth...

plain and simple.
I believe folks who love truth in all things have more difficulty dealing with the masses because others can be so dishonest (with themselves). They are not fooling anyone else in reality, though they are unaware of this. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with not enjoying other folk in large quantities. I have a great time in social events, having good conversations with anyone who is capable, and just living with a zest for life. I'm very outgoing and go places alone with no discomfort in talking to people I meet. However, I soon realize that I just want to go home and enjoy a movie or a good book after a short time. So I appreciate knowing that, it's not just me!
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Old 10-21-2012, 08:34 PM
 
8 posts, read 12,554 times
Reputation: 34
Default "Be able to be alone.....

Lose not the advantage of solitude."
Sir Thomas Browne



I love my own company, it's often when I have the most enjoyable times. However, a good friend or two is necessary also. Finding that is the challenge. Most people are like trees, some branches, some leaves, and, rarely roots. Hold on to those when/if you find one, or two. They are the treasures!



Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.
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Old 10-21-2012, 09:52 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,721 posts, read 9,015,236 times
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I will make small talk and go out of my way to be nice to people at work and when I'm out and about, but I prefer smaller groups of people and like solitude once in a while as well. I don't think most people are "frenemies" though.
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Old 10-21-2012, 09:53 PM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,290,858 times
Reputation: 1840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lanaglorious View Post
plain and simple.
I believe folks who love truth in all things have more difficulty dealing with the masses because others can be so dishonest (with themselves). They are not fooling anyone else in reality, though they are unaware of this. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with not enjoying other folk in large quantities. I have a great time in social events, having good conversations with anyone who is capable, and just living with a zest for life. I'm very outgoing and go places alone with no discomfort in talking to people I meet. However, I soon realize that I just want to go home and enjoy a movie or a good book after a short time. So I appreciate knowing that, it's not just me!
This is me right here...But I give in to the "what will others think" and I try; I still don't get invited to lunches, parties, etc. Then I feel inadequate again. Once again, I am at the point of what is the point of trying?
Then there is the issue of trust...I had thought I was making friends with a neighbor. We had weekly lunches for months. Then one day, she asked me about something going on in the neighborhood, I truthfully told her what had happened, BAM, I was dropped. It seemed she got the info she needed from me and didn't need me anymore. So, I have a hard time trusting people so I just talk about topical stuff which quite frankly, I would rather read a book or surf the internet over lunch than do that.
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Old 10-22-2012, 08:12 AM
 
Location: DFW
6,795 posts, read 11,761,346 times
Reputation: 5148
I prefer to have a low key social life, as opposed to either an active or non-existent one, in my life. I don't function well in either complete isolation or living the life "of the party".

Just like being isolated for a long time, I also find myself being prone to depression if I were to be social every single day. In that situation, once I get some time away from people, my "depression" disappears.
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Old 10-22-2012, 10:33 AM
 
Location: North Texas
23,989 posts, read 32,793,389 times
Reputation: 27517
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.
I completely agree.
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Old 10-22-2012, 06:52 PM
 
2,681 posts, read 6,260,904 times
Reputation: 4143
Default Lol...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.
Me, too...and I could care less...as the saying goes....'the more I'm around people the more I like dogs'.
Koale
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Utah
5,005 posts, read 14,466,295 times
Reputation: 4989
I tend to be quite social....when I want to be. But I get around women at work who repeatedly talk about their bad dating choices and it makes me want to scream at them and run away. Or the ones who are always talking about their kids--no matter the kids' ages. I think my interest in any conversation with anyone is based on whether or not I have anything to learn from it or contribute to it.
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