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I guess I find people are so easily offended these days, or always think there right - or they think your trying cause them some sort of offence, or annoyance when your just trying to get through your day with no agenda. Have an opinion on something they will get offended and begin to lecture you, talk on a subject they know a lot about and perhaps you will get corrected in a nasty way. You get the idea, speaking to crazy people who pretend their sane just gives them options to use against you.
Plus many people don't really listen to others, they just talk at you.
I always find its walking on eggshells with people - The less you say to them the less options/angles they have to take offence and cause an argument, get upset or get sucked into their games, nonsense and drama - I realize its probably bit cynical but its my experience of a lot of people. Although not everyone, there people I get on with.
I always find myself trying to work out other people motives, opinions etc - and then tell them what they want to hear, mimic the thoughts etc. Perhaps I am just politically minded and see most people as Machiavellian and self interested.
Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.
I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.
All good points. I, too, find it insufferable to be fake "friends" with people with whom I have nothing in common because I have to. I sort of had to go to these happy hours with people who were in work allied to ours, and they were big-time geeks, so I usually found a way to get out of it. I've also been in a situation where the people, from our place of work, would go to happy hours and they weren't stuffy at work, and even less so at the happy hours. I'm fine if I like the people involved. If I don't, I'd much rather be alone.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 10-23-2012 at 09:46 PM..
I'm the quiet type who prefers to keep to himself most of the time and it at times has rubbed people the wrong way. Either I've been accused of being stuck up or mentally slow. I just prefer to not talk for the sake of talking. Most of the friendships I've made in my life have been ones of convenience where once either me or the person left school or or place of work, there was no reason for people to maintain a friendship even if I wanted to. But even so, I prefer my solitude most of the time and find a lot of socialization from what I've experienced kinda fake and tedious. But if I do meet someone genuine that I can see a promising friendship in, I tend to hold on to that friendship for as long as I can.
for the most part, i enjoy being alone. i guess i fall into the introverts category. i have always been that way. at work, i can be outgoing when i want to be. me and a buddy from work hang out sometimes because he is the exact same way. it's ironic, considering that i work in customer service. that, combined with lousy, obnoxious friends in the past has caused me to keep my distance from most people. i know how lousy people can be and i'd rather avoid the drama or lousy situations that "so called" friends will subject me to.
i do have a little bit of a social life, but that mainly consists of going out with or without people. most people, i need to have a solid buzz going before i can tolerate them(mainly people i don't know). i am not stuck-up by any means. i just tend to think many people have ulterior motives when they want to become friends. i enjoy being independent and not having to rely on anybody. i just wish most other people were the same. as for the people who judge me for being anti-social, calling me "stuck-up","awkward", or "slow", i don't really care. i usually reply "if you weren't so judgmental, then maybe we would be friends".
I don't function well in either complete isolation
I do, I LOVE it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking
Perhaps I am just politically minded and see most people as Machiavellian and self interested.
^^ That. Something I learned pretty quickly after entering adulthood is that "friends" don't really exist after high school or maybe college. People just use each other. There are only self-interests. How can you benefit me? That is what just about all "friendships"/relationships revolve around.
^^ That. Something I learned pretty quickly after entering adulthood is that "friends" don't really exist after high school or maybe college. People just use each other. There are only self-interests. How can you benefit me? That is what just about all "friendships"/relationships revolve around.
I have just recently figured this out... We don't have a boat, jet skis, a lake house, an rv so it seems others are after people who have toys to offer. I think it's sad but felt rather enlightened.
I like to do things myself. I find it's my alone time and space for myself. I also like to travel myself. I find travelling with friends I don't always get to do what I want to do.
That. Something I learned pretty quickly after entering adulthood is that "friends" don't really exist after high school or maybe college. People just use each other. There are only self-interests. How can you benefit me?
The "benefit" doesn't have to be monetary or about things, it could be psychological, too.
I don't think that people have ulterior motives but I'm done with having a social life or any type of interpersonal relationship outside my family. I pretty much gave up on it. I tried to be normal when I was younger and tried to have the same social experiences that everyone else had but ended making a fool of myself and getting rejected. Always felt I was behind the curve and it was really frustrating. That frustration of the feeling that I would never catch up to everyone else took me to some dark dark places. Mainly due to the fact that when someone is behind the curve socially they will rarely be helped and no one will have sympathy or empathy for them. But those behind the curve will be lucky if they are not picked on and made fun of. Those dark places I mentioned were getting revenge on the people who wronged me. But ultimately I don't have it in me to hurt anyone like that. But my main thoughts were on suicide. The only thing that kept me from crossing that line was retreating in to myself. I only really step outside of myself for my family and to take care of business. Quite frankly, unless I'm working I really can't see myself talking and hanging out with anyone all day. Maybe it's because I've spent so much time being by myself all my life. I've given up on being normal because trying so hard to be normal only depressed me. Another thing that helped me keep my sanity is that for all the weird quirks that I have my family would be there for me no matter what.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StAcKhOuSe
as for the people who judge me for being anti-social, calling me "stuck-up","awkward", or "slow", i don't really care. i usually reply "if you weren't so judgmental, then maybe we would be friends".
Lol... so true It's amazing how people don't understand this, they complain about some people not being social while insulting them in the same breath. It reminds me of this saying I seen on some T-shirts. "I'm not shy, I just don't like you".
don't think that people have ulterior motives but I'm done with having a social life or any type of interpersonal relationship outside my family. I pretty much gave up on it. I tried to be normal when I was younger and tried to have the same social experiences that everyone else had but ended making a fool of myself and getting rejected. Always felt I was behind the curve and it was really frustrating. That frustration of the feeling that I would never catch up took me to some some dark places. Mainly due to the fact that when someone is behind the curve socially they will rarely be helped and no one will have sympathy or empathy for them. But those behind the curve will be lucky if they are not picked on and made fun of. Those dark places I mentioned were getting revenge on the people who wronged me. But ultimately I don't have it in me to hurt anyone like that. But my main thoughts were on suicide. The only thing that kept me from crossing that line was retreating in to myself. I only really step outside of myself for my family and to take care of business. Quite frankly, unless I'm working I really can't see myself talking and hanging out with anyone all day. Maybe it's because I've spent so much time being by myself all my life. I've given up on being normal because trying so hard to be normal only depressed me. Another thing that helped me keep my sanity is that for all the weird quirks that I have my family would be there for me no matter what.
Great post. Been there.
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