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Old 10-26-2012, 12:33 PM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,966,389 times
Reputation: 2967

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Quote:
...as for the people who judge me for being anti-social, calling me "stuck-up","awkward", or "slow", i don't really care....
Got that "stuck up" accusation, too, when younger. Completely baffled me since I felt just the opposite ...more "humble" and "outside looking inside" vs stuck up or somehow "above" my peers.
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Corona
10,065 posts, read 13,955,197 times
Reputation: 8902
I enjoy my quiet time since when I am working it high stress and with demanding customers.
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Old 10-30-2012, 03:53 PM
 
1,087 posts, read 1,776,180 times
Reputation: 1527
Quote:
Originally Posted by statisticsnerd View Post
I do, I LOVE it.



^^ That. Something I learned pretty quickly after entering adulthood is that "friends" don't really exist after high school or maybe college. People just use each other. There are only self-interests. How can you benefit me? That is what just about all "friendships"/relationships revolve around.
Quite cynical but I think there is some truth in the fact that many relationships are simply unions, where person thinks another person can be useful to them or they are lacking in some area that their partner makes up for- and the same goes for many friendships.

I still believe its possible to make decent friends, just need to try harder and stop making friends with the easy options or where you won't get rejected, or look in different sources.
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:37 PM
 
Location: On the edge of the universe
994 posts, read 1,348,149 times
Reputation: 1421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
Got that "stuck up" accusation, too, when younger. Completely baffled me since I felt just the opposite ...more "humble" and "outside looking inside" vs stuck up or somehow "above" my peers.
I know where you're coming from. A lot of people are very draining to be around, to be honest. Not everyone's bad but it's more than what I thought when I was younger. I've been called 'having a hardcore personality' and 'not having good social skills' in the past. Well, maybe here's a few reasons why I'm 'hardcore' and 'antisocial'.

* Many people bring their drama and personal garbage into your life or try to. No, I don't care about your drama at work or some bull**** on Facebook or whatever flavor of the week trash from the media is...I don't care. Most of the stuff that people worry about isn't a pressing issue. A lot of times I've noticed where people who tend to watch a lot of the reality TV soap opera shows seem to gravitate towards drama in general.

* Society is too obsessed with status overall. I don't care about whether I saved face with some manager-droid at work or not; if they hate my guts nothing in the world can really change that. I don't care if I'm not on the fast track to management or that I don't have the latest trinket to boost my social standing. It's like the old saying: "People work at jobs they hate to buy **** they don't want to impress people they don't care about." What's the point?

* A lot of people come across as predators (sexual or otherwise). I can see why there are a lot of people who get creeped out while socializing in public. I live in a 'pro-family' state and given how a lot of people out here carry and conduct themselves this is a place where I think a lot of backstabbing and buttstabbing go on, perhaps worse than the supposedly anti-family parts of the world. And a lot of people have no qualms of lying or scamming you, or playing the buddy-buddy game to take advantage of you. Yes, I've seen this before, sadly.

* A lot of people are just plain obnoxious and dumb. No, riding on my rear when I'm doing 30mph on a 30mph road isn't going to make me go faster. On the other hand, some people don't have the sense to move out of the way. Yes, dummy, if you stand in the middle of the aisle in the store, people will try to get around you. Quit staring at me like a dumb ox and move your fat ass! (And get your nasty kids out of the way too!)

There. I ranted it and feel much better. Thanks for the pro-introvert post!
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:45 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,045 posts, read 14,274,803 times
Reputation: 8901
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.
I sense an overtone of bitterness that I don't agree with, but I can relate. Those people do exist, but I don't think everyone is out to get me. I love people. And I can't stand people.

I think people are inherently good and want to be happy. I think most are too lazy in thought and in deed to make it happen. It is easier to give in to the negative and blame everyone else than it is to create your ideal life.......because it takes integrity and work.

I feel a lot of people lack individuality and a respect for truth and information. I can sit down all day long with someone I don't agree with, as long as they know what they're talking about and aren't parroting what they read in the tabloids or heard from their cousin's neighbor's plumber's butcher.

I do well socially, but I do large groups in small doses. It literally wears me out. So does restless and negative energy.

Needy people who have to tell you everything about their entire lives within minutes of meeting you and want to know everything about yours - I can't hang. I don't share willy nilly.

There are days when I feel like I just can't stand human beings.....because they are human - the very thing that makes them so wonderful. Dammit.
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:50 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,045 posts, read 14,274,803 times
Reputation: 8901
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireandice1000 View Post
I know where you're coming from. A lot of people are very draining to be around, to be honest. Not everyone's bad but it's more than what I thought when I was younger. I've been called 'having a hardcore personality' and 'not having good social skills' in the past. Well, maybe here's a few reasons why I'm 'hardcore' and 'antisocial'.

* Many people bring their drama and personal garbage into your life or try to. No, I don't care about your drama at work or some bull**** on Facebook or whatever flavor of the week trash from the media is...I don't care. Most of the stuff that people worry about isn't a pressing issue. A lot of times I've noticed where people who tend to watch a lot of the reality TV soap opera shows seem to gravitate towards drama in general.

* Society is too obsessed with status overall. I don't care about whether I saved face with some manager-droid at work or not; if they hate my guts nothing in the world can really change that. I don't care if I'm not on the fast track to management or that I don't have the latest trinket to boost my social standing. It's like the old saying: "People work at jobs they hate to buy **** they don't want to impress people they don't care about." What's the point?

* A lot of people come across as predators (sexual or otherwise). I can see why there are a lot of people who get creeped out while socializing in public. I live in a 'pro-family' state and given how a lot of people out here carry and conduct themselves this is a place where I think a lot of backstabbing and buttstabbing go on, perhaps worse than the supposedly anti-family parts of the world. And a lot of people have no qualms of lying or scamming you, or playing the buddy-buddy game to take advantage of you. Yes, I've seen this before, sadly.

* A lot of people are just plain obnoxious and dumb. No, riding on my rear when I'm doing 30mph on a 30mph road isn't going to make me go faster. On the other hand, some people don't have the sense to move out of the way. Yes, dummy, if you stand in the middle of the aisle in the store, people will try to get around you. Quit staring at me like a dumb ox and move your fat ass! (And get your nasty kids out of the way too!)

There. I ranted it and feel much better. Thanks for the pro-introvert post!
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:52 PM
 
1,087 posts, read 1,776,180 times
Reputation: 1527
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireandice1000 View Post
I know where you're coming from. A lot of people are very draining to be around, to be honest. Not everyone's bad but it's more than what I thought when I was younger. I've been called 'having a hardcore personality' and 'not having good social skills' in the past. Well, maybe here's a few reasons why I'm 'hardcore' and 'antisocial'.

* Many people bring their drama and personal garbage into your life or try to. No, I don't care about your drama at work or some bull**** on Facebook or whatever flavor of the week trash from the media is...I don't care. Most of the stuff that people worry about isn't a pressing issue. A lot of times I've noticed where people who tend to watch a lot of the reality TV soap opera shows seem to gravitate towards drama in general.

* Society is too obsessed with status overall. I don't care about whether I saved face with some manager-droid at work or not; if they hate my guts nothing in the world can really change that. I don't care if I'm not on the fast track to management or that I don't have the latest trinket to boost my social standing. It's like the old saying: "People work at jobs they hate to buy **** they don't want to impress people they don't care about." What's the point?

* A lot of people come across as predators (sexual or otherwise). I can see why there are a lot of people who get creeped out while socializing in public. I live in a 'pro-family' state and given how a lot of people out here carry and conduct themselves this is a place where I think a lot of backstabbing and buttstabbing go on, perhaps worse than the supposedly anti-family parts of the world. And a lot of people have no qualms of lying or scamming you, or playing the buddy-buddy game to take advantage of you. Yes, I've seen this before, sadly.

* A lot of people are just plain obnoxious and dumb. No, riding on my rear when I'm doing 30mph on a 30mph road isn't going to make me go faster. On the other hand, some people don't have the sense to move out of the way. Yes, dummy, if you stand in the middle of the aisle in the store, people will try to get around you. Quit staring at me like a dumb ox and move your fat ass! (And get your nasty kids out of the way too!)

There. I ranted it and feel much better. Thanks for the pro-introvert post!

I'd say most people have a bad side and a good side, we all have bad points were not aware of -its trying to make the best of their positive traits and minimise their negative traits.

I notice as soon as you get close to someone you sucked into their drama, or their trying to get you to agree with their worldview - or that cheery friendly person you met suddenly turns bitter, angry for no reason. Or their full of snide remarks and passive aggression.

At some level I notice people always turn on you, its usually just a matter of time, eventually they find a reason to hate you. As soon as you get too close you could be in the firing line.

If you won the lottery and gave 10 family members a 2 million dollars each, I guarantee you within a year they would all be arguing who got the most - and then most of them would end up hating you. This is the kind of society we live in, people always find a reason to hate you. Most people are stuck in continual state of jealousy and fighting day in day out.

Sometimes when you feel like your going mad or stressed or just get drained by others, its important to remember you could well be surrounded by mad people posing as sane people.

I think its important to have alone time to compose your thoughts, solitude, to plan, to think, Philosophise and just dealing with the emotional vampires that surround us everyday of our lives who call themselves friends, family and workmates.


.
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Old 10-30-2012, 05:13 PM
 
230 posts, read 471,072 times
Reputation: 210
Sometimes other people are annoying, but I don't like being alone either, especially not all the time. Some loners are not loners by choice.
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Old 10-30-2012, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Volunteer State
1,243 posts, read 933,822 times
Reputation: 2159
When I was high school, I was the life of the party. I was definitely an extrovert - student council president, all-star athlete, academic genius, etc. Once I was halfway thru college, however, I started changing. I began to dislike the company of others and started enjoying my own company more.
The many friends I had are still there, but at a great distance. The extrovert is now an extreme introvert - sometimes to the point I worry about becoming sociopathic. I love individuals but intensity dislike people as a whole. I am self-aware enough to know that I am NOT better than others - I just don't like them. The relationships I have with my wife, kids, in-laws, and family are great. But I find talking to my co-workers boring. I get along with them well enough, but I find it extremely irritating that they can't talk about anything but themselves. Your average person cannot see that talking about themselves constantly is being self-centered and miss the irony that NOT wanting to hear about YOUR experiences is being arrogant. Obviously, their life, opinions, experiences, etc. are much more important to not just the conversation but society as a whole. This, I think, is what bothers me the most about our society.
Social media also baffles me. I don't partake because I couldn't imagine anyone giving enough of a damn about my life to follow it thru facebook, twitter, etc. Because as much as I love my friends, you couldn't begin to imagine to sh*t that I do not give about their every moment of life. Do they think that I'm so enthralled with their life that I would want constant updates via cellphone about what they had for dinner or the cute pic they took of their dog dressed in drag? And because I feel that way, I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be that far up my arse. My life - as much as I enjoy it with those I love - is just not that exciting. I don't need to tweet to my wife/daughter/son that I love them - I just turn around and tell them. And anyone following celebrities via social media need to stop living vicariously thru these self-absorbed people and start enjoying their own lives.
I used to be the alpha male. Now I just sit quietly and allow others to ramble about their own little world with the assumption their listeners give a crap. Other than this rant, I usually don't even speak up until someone actually asks for my opinion, which I will give, knowing - for the most part, but not always - they are either being polite or are using the lull to think about their next soliloquy. Watch the next time and you can see it in their eyes.
Maybe I should see what meds are available...
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Old 10-30-2012, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Between amicable and ornery
1,097 posts, read 1,445,835 times
Reputation: 1468
I'm also an introvert and enjoy my own company but feel the need to come out once in a while to make sure the world is still turning. Once I see that nothing has changed, I go back into my happy hole. I notice that my friendships are never casual and I only invest in friendships with people who are "deep." Meaning deep thinkers or people who've had a life changing experience such as myself. A friend of mine who had therapy for a traumatic childhood described people like us as "survivors." Meaning something really life altering happened to us where people who've never had such experience or choose not to acknowledge it aren't able to mentally go.

So, when people make small talk and talk about superficial topics....it seems trivial compared to our big picture without the rose covered glasses. I don't know if anyone agrees but I like her definition. My only concern about being an introvert is that I'm going to turn into the old lady who dies alone because I never took an interest in being more social. What do you think??
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