U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 10-31-2012, 04:03 AM
Location: Sol System
1,494 posts, read 2,871,923 times
Reputation: 1022


I have been characterised as being arrogant for the same reasons. When I was working in foodservice , I was quite the bubble , but that was burst in daily dealings with stupid queries , pointless hassles , and loss of intellect displayed by the customers when in the mall. Now , I thoroughly enjoy a solitary existence. I'm not bothered with others' whining , albeit I will lend a caring ear depending upon circumstance. Aside from that , the only contact with counterparts I have are work , family , and attendants at petrol stations/tackleshops. I've been told I'm missing out on alot of 'fun' , but alas , our ideas of what fun entails are radically different. One of my friends was talking my head off one night , telling me to 'let people into my life' , and stop being so private. The following night , his car had been broken into by one of the 'people' he let into his life. Times turn around , I say. Where I live currently , I'm preparing to depart due to neighbours that are insatiably nosy. They are always outside , looking at everything/everyone that passes by. It's at the point I am more relaxed at work than home. The last vacation I took was the worst ever , everytime I'd step outside , a barrage of queries about my destination , and other things that have nothing to do with them flies my way. However , my next vacation will be planned to remain in a National Forest for the entire time , until I decide to return. Having clusters of supersonic people in my face all the time is not for me.
Quick reply to this message

Old 11-01-2012, 10:36 PM
1 posts, read 1,732 times
Reputation: 10
Default Re:Anyone like being alone or find other people annoying?

I'm just like you. And after a 25 year marriage and being over 50 I finally realized that I don't really like a lot of people around me much. And that I have ALWAYS been that way. Thinking back on my childhood I tended to isolate myself during family parties. I liked playing games one on one with kids but not too much of the games with lots of kids. I have very few friends but they are solid and longstanding.
I get irritated easily by others and am the same as you regarding being at work and talking with people.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2012, 11:09 PM
565 posts, read 1,113,239 times
Reputation: 714
I'm definitely not a people person. I would say anti-social covers it. People just annoy the hell out of me.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2012, 04:58 AM
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,982,537 times
Reputation: 2967
I'm planning on dropping my "freinds" after New Years.

I notice i am the one who seems to try to keep in touch, writing notes, sending clippings, postcards, etc, leaving messages, etc, and not much in response. Figure I'm doing all the work.

So after Xmas and a last flurry of Xmas cards, I will limit contacts to postcards or notes from my monthly trip to KY before cutting off contact altogehter.

Sort of bummed on this, but the lightbulb has finally went off that that my aquaintenances really could care less.

Sort of bitter about this but I'll get over it.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2012, 07:32 AM
2,079 posts, read 2,602,297 times
Reputation: 3947
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post

Lol... so true It's amazing how people don't understand this, they complain about some people not being social while insulting them in the same breath. It reminds me of this saying I seen on some T-shirts. "I'm not shy, I just don't like you".
there are some people who are overly outgoing to the point of being obnoxious. they wonder why i keep the conversation to a minimum

Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
Got that "stuck up" accusation, too, when younger. Completely baffled me since I felt just the opposite ...more "humble" and "outside looking inside" vs stuck up or somehow "above" my peers.
that's exactly how i felt too. it just seems like alot of work to be social all of the time. tbh, it is rather draining to be outgoing, unless it is with a woman that i like(or tolerate to be around). even that is sort of draining, but in a good way if i end up playing my cards right.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-02-2012, 03:56 PM
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,534,193 times
Reputation: 16771
I had a bit of a revelation last night. I was planning another big kitchen cleanup and had downloaded some nice pagan/celtic folk music to accompany it. And one of the speakers quit. I must have spend two hours trying to figure out why. I'm very methodical about that but when I was done, even if it didn't make complete sense yet, I had two speakers working. But I thought to myself that maybe I'd have been happier as a kid as boy, since I think like my dad who was an engineer, and was both surprised and pleased that his young daughter both asked about and wanted to know how tv and raido worked. I've always been fascinated by how things work. When I was a kid it was assumed girls weren't interested. But those were two really happy hours. Me and a problem to solve and methodical, impersonal steps to follow. I love those moments when I can really throw myself at a problem to fix.

I've never been the life of the party, but I used to be more 'social'. I think others are right about at least some people today. Just because we can share all the intimate details of life with a hundreds of 'friends' all day doesn't mean we need to. I myself don't really care. Give me a real topic and I'll talk for a long time. If its something stupid, then... er, my mind is just hearing noise. So I'd rather not be there.

I think the big key for me in the intenisty of a subject. I need involvement and equal fascination. I don't have many 'personal' conversations, but love good ones about things of interest. I'm not rude to people but when I speak to the clerk its politeness. I could be fine if they ignored me. I don't and won't seek out 'surface' talk.

My big dream would be to meet someone who was loner oriented but shared interests who could be there when both of us were in the mood. It would be even more neat to find a project of equal fascination, and maybe learn how other things work along the way. I think the way I relate to people is indirectly, *through* 'things' and ideas and deep inside I am my own island.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-16-2012, 01:30 AM
1,089 posts, read 1,781,771 times
Reputation: 1532
The other thing is people are so two faced as soon as they have any information about you they will use it against you - conversation is a tool for this.

I find it difficult to actually have a straightforward conversation with most people because most of them are simply delusional and arrogant. The seem to a really high opinion of themselves, which is completely at odds with the reality of their life - how hard is it to be around people who think they know everything, have been everywhere, have done everything - but the reality is some boring office 9 -5 job.

At some level all the want is an audience to listen to them and draw attention, or there trying to be condescending in some way. Its not really about you, its about them.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-16-2012, 09:38 AM
Location: Southern California
5,430 posts, read 8,143,854 times
Reputation: 5085
I NEVER had many friends in my life. It's not really due to not wanting to have friends, it's just how things turned out. I'm an only child & am probably a bit socially withdrawn. I'm the seetest, most genuine person anyone would ever know, but I'm never in a position for others to get to know me. Everywhere I am, everyone always has their own friends/group, so they don't care if they get to know me. I'm always the outsider wherever I am. Even at the church i used to attend, evryone's in their own cliques & are not very friendly.

If I meet the right kind of people whose personality I mesh well with, then fine, but I just very, very, very rarely come across people who I could say, "Wow, I could see myself being good friends with that person!" I do have a boyfriend & like me, he only has one kind of good friend.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-17-2012, 09:00 PM
Location: New Orleans
526 posts, read 953,379 times
Reputation: 478
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.

OMG you are ME!!!!!! I feel exactly the same way. I feel that i am FORCED to interact.
Quick reply to this message
Old 11-20-2012, 04:58 PM
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
1,434 posts, read 1,546,902 times
Reputation: 1604
Yes I like to be alone. Ever since I was a teeanger, I didn't want to be bothered so I went up in my room and didn't come down till dinner. My mom tried to get to talk and She failed. If I want to speak, I'll speak, nobody is going to force me to do so.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top