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Old 11-30-2012, 05:20 PM
 
1,004 posts, read 2,033,986 times
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Funny I was just thinking about this today at work. Of few jobs I had I DO like my current on the most. I work in IT so I deal with customers , but its usually remotely. Which I LOVE BTW.

I'm an introvert and a "hermit." I will socialize with people at work its part of my job and I will admit I do enjoy our conversations. However when quitting times comes around I'm more than HAPPY to be alone. When I go to the store, I don't really say anything to other people just plug my headphones and go about my business. Will I speak yes, but I'm content being in my own world.
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:26 PM
 
7,375 posts, read 11,542,544 times
Reputation: 8174
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.
Sometimes. But I feel unhappy if I'm too lonely.

Humans are social animals. We need to be around others to be happy. Some people can be happy being totally alone, but not many.
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:58 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,872 posts, read 13,543,222 times
Reputation: 29032
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Sometimes. But I feel unhappy if I'm too lonely.

Humans are social animals. We need to be around others to be happy. Some people can be happy being totally alone, but not many.

I'd say that if the first sentence you typed, "I feel unhappy if I'm too lonely," is accurate, then you certainly ARE a social animal. But I don't believe it's correct to say "not many" people are happy being alone.

I had a counselor tell me something a long time ago that I've always remembered. He said, "Extraverts are people who are energized being with other people. Introverts are people whose energy is sapped by other people." The Myers-Briggs personality identifier (based on Jungian principles) summarizes the difference this way: "Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?"

That seems to me to be a very non-judgmental way of determining that different people have different reactions to being with others. One is not more correct than the other or even more prevalent; entirely different types of activities give them pleasure. Extraverts are said to have more skill at describing what makes them happy but that doesn't necessarily mean that introverts are not happy.

Let's all be what we are and accept the people who are the opposite without judgment. (And if any Myers-Briggs aficionados are out there, your friend Jukesgrrl is an INFP, if you couldn't guess.)
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,227 posts, read 21,091,729 times
Reputation: 2222
I have my times that I enjoy being alone, but I also have times where I want to be around others but I sometimes feel "left out" or "unwanted" which sort of puts me in a sour mood. Sometimes I feel that the fact this has happened so many times in my life, is what makes me not care to be around anyone...i don't know...
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:59 PM
 
245 posts, read 314,040 times
Reputation: 368
I like to be alone MOST of the time, People I know ALMOST always turn out to be phony after knowing them for a while.
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Old 08-12-2013, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Undisclosed...(It's SEKKRIT!;)
117 posts, read 164,166 times
Reputation: 166
Talking That is interesting...

Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Yes. I find as I get older I have little patience for people. I partially blame it on my job. I work with the public. That will make you dislike humanity quickly.
I am totally like the OP in that I have my partner and that's it. I don't socialize with women friends. I have certainly had friends in the past but as I have gotten older, I find most people too "worldly." I am not stuffy or uptight, but I no longer party (drink and smoke pot), and I have no plans on hanging with those who do.

I find that most people are interested in talking about other people (back-stabbing is more like it), talking about their accomplishments, talking about their possessions, and it's BORING. I am interested in IDEAS, which is why I like the Internet so much.

And these people are like energy vampires. They don't have inner resources so they feed off other people's energy.

I like the freedom of not having people calling me, wanting something. My partner has many friends from childhood and he sometimes gets irritated at the calling.

But I liked working retail because I got to get to know people in a controlled environment and it was neat to see them regularly in a limited time frame. Plus it was in a health store so we got some characters come in there!
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Old 08-12-2013, 09:52 AM
 
355 posts, read 1,092,184 times
Reputation: 271
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.
You may be an intellectual or slightly more intelligent than the average population. I get a lot of flack for saying this, but people who have an above average IQ than the majority of the population are often "lonely" or like being alone. It would explain why the computer IT nerd would rather read a good book than go out on a date lol (they need mental stimulation, and can rarely find someone to satisfy that need). I can relate, because when I have conversations with people, they often talk about issues and problems that can be solved by a 5 year old. They can go on and on about minor issues and problems, but are unable to hold intellectual conversations......they become bored when you start to speak about physics, the afterlife, the universe, metaphysics, technology, the unseen...etc.

I love being alone. I like going to the movies, shopping, eating, going to the park, etc...alone. I love it, but you still need human interaction for your own mental health.


I also can relate to the whole "fake friend" thing. You may be a sensitive being who can easily see through people and their intentions. You don't like manipulation, and you can spot it a mile away....that is what puts you into disgust mode. I have cut off a lot of people because of this.....a lot of these same people cannot understand why they have been cut off...and it's even hard for me to explain why I cut them off...but deep down inside, I know it is because I see the negative traits in a person that they don't even see in themselves. If I can give any advice, it would be this:

Continue to monitor people to make sure you are not going to be taken for a ride, but balance it with empathy and compassion. Understand that we all have flaws and negative traits due to insecurities.
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Old 08-12-2013, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Temporarily residing on Planet Earth
658 posts, read 1,296,782 times
Reputation: 392
I find many people annoying. I've learned to enjoy my own company more over the years. However I still like to have some good friends and every so often you make a friend and they don't really annoy you at all so you hang out more often.
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Old 09-23-2013, 08:05 PM
 
221 posts, read 316,819 times
Reputation: 149
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I often get accused of being anti social or keeping myself to myself - I enjoy chatting to someone if there is a purpose to the conversation, I enjoy doing a sport with other people, or a party, a wedding - having passing conversations etc with people at work - but not sitting down for lunch everyday making small talk when I could be surfing the net or reading an interesting book.

I Find that after an hour or so with a person - I pretty much know what there all about, their attitudes, personality, what type of things there going to say - They become predictable/boring to me, and any further conversation is unnecessary unless I am interested in talking further - I feel like I can read them like a book quite quickly.

To be honest I find too much close contact with other people annoying - as soon you get too close to them at some level there trying impose themselves on you, use you, intrude on you, manipulate you, control you - get information on you, find a weakness or just generally annoy you and take out their frustrations on you. They will start of friendly and then push and push to see what they can get away with.

I find that many people who have lots of friends, people at work they socialise with, are in fact surrounded by frenemies but they remain friends for the social contacts etc - and they are just mutually using each other.

Its not that I don't like other people, I just like to keep it at a distance and enjoy my own space. I am polite and friendly as possible.

I realize this is limiting me, and my potential - therefore I need to make friends with people I genuinely interested in, like and not just tolerate.


Were we separated at birth or something?
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:17 AM
 
1,089 posts, read 1,781,771 times
Reputation: 1532
Quote:
Originally Posted by sajae90 View Post
I also can relate to the whole "fake friend" thing. You may be a sensitive being who can easily see through people and their intentions. You don't like manipulation, and you can spot it a mile away....that is what puts you into disgust mode. I have cut off a lot of people because of this.....a lot of these same people cannot understand why they have been cut off...and it's even hard for me to explain why I cut them off...but deep down inside, I know it is because I see the negative traits in a person that they don't even see in themselves. If I can give any advice, it would be this:

Continue to monitor people to make sure you are not going to be taken for a ride, but balance it with empathy and compassion. Understand that we all have flaws and negative traits due to insecurities.
A lot of me being anti social about being able to spot manipulative behavior, work out their motives, mindset, trusting my instincts about people, in certain situations the less you say to other people the better. I find a lot of people overly serious, political and generally scheming, looking to take offence or argue at the slightest thing, or cause some sort of drama in your life. Basically lacking in any genuineness and mostly hoping to see others fail under a fascade, i.e being manipulative about it and not showing just how nasty they really are to the world.

Its best to be social but give them no information or angles they can use against you, practise non answers, or avoid if possible.
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