Acting "Black" and Acting "White." (wife, father, children)

[mateo45]

Originally Posted by Off-beat

The OP is being extremely racist.

Nonsense, he's talking about black and white "culture", which is sometimes related to "race", but not always. And IMHO, that confusion is often why we can't have an intelligent discussion about either one in this country.

Although I would suggest that there's also a difference between the white kids who just happen to dig black culture (art, music, fashion, etc.), and the ones who "act black" simply because they have no sense of their own culture or roots. And this is often common among poor white kids who think of themselves not as Italian, Hispanic, Jewish, Irish, or whatever, but instead as "mutts" or "Heinz 57". Which ironically often describes the white underclass "redneck" kids, who actually are a distinct culture (albeit an unrecognized one)

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by Off-beat

The OP is being extremely racist.

Get over it. This is a relevant topic. The black and Hispanic communities really take note of their own behavior patterns, and so do those who are not a part of those communities. Political correctness sometimes needs to take a nap. A black guy was once speaking openly to me about Ebonics. He said it is largely about a collection of linguistic contractions, such as "He be actin' " for "He was acting," "Ama' kick yo' ass" for "I'm going to kick your ass," and other interesting truncations. I thought he was cool for talking about it without any hang-ups.

[HomeIsWhere...]

Originally Posted by tengdog

I'm white, and I grew up in a very ethnically diverse area, and I also attended an ethnically diverse school where there were a lot of Blacks and Latinos. My best friend and girlfriend are black.

Now I'm in my first year of college and I'm far from home and apparently, according to some people here, I act "black." Yes, "act black," as if every single black person on the planet falls under one single characterization. When I ask them why they think I act black, they cite the fact that I listen to a lot of jazz, old skool hip-hop, soul, funk and old-style RnB. They also cite the fact that I play and watch a lot of basketball as being another corroborating factor, along with my best friend and girlfriend both being black.

Yes, it's true, my favourite genres of music have been pioneered and dominated by black artists and yeah, the NBA is something like 80% black, but just because someone enjoys certain music driven by a certain group and just because someone enjoys a sport that is dominated by a certain group, it doesn't mean that person is some kind of self-hating character. And apparently, it's completely impossible to have friends or lovers of a different race without some kind of ulterior motive.

There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?

No, you're not the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by calipoppy

(where is a beating a dead horse gif when you need one)

I see your point, but sociology and social psychology are fascinating subjects. I didn't sleep in those classes.

[exscapegoat]

I've had friends and family run into this on both sides. People do tend to get their pre-conceived notions. One of my friends I met through a former job is black and I'm white. Some of the people we worked with (older than us, baby boomers) were suprised we got along so well and went out to lunch and out after work. We'd both been hired around the same time, we were among the youngest employees at the time and we are a few months apart in age. We both like to read and have similar senses of humor

When I met some of her friends for the first time (and this was back before widespread internet access and social media), they were a bit surprised because they expected me to be black.

At another job, a co-worker and I had a laugh over musical stereotyping. She's black and got odd looks from the music store clerk (way back in the days before downloads) when she bought a Def Leppard CD. I got a similar look in the early 90s buying a Salt-N-Pepa CD. I couldn't find it in the popular music section and had to ask the clerk for help. And this was in the financial district in the early 90s and I looked like an extra or supporting cast member in Working Girl, lol Though I didn't have this kind of talent with eye shadow:


My step-brother is white, my step-sister-in-law is black. When they were both in the military, he found he had more in common when it came to musical tastes, etc. with black enlistees from urban or semi-urban or suburban areas than many of the white enlistees he met. My step-sister-in-law also had people give her a difficult time for not dating a black guy when they first started dating.

[Ross706]

I know exactly where your coming from I normally don't post much on these boards but i figured id put my two cents in. I'm white I grew up in a predominately black neighborhood I never saw race when I was coming up I saw it as rich or poor the haves and the have nots whites, blacks, mexicans, puerto ricans, whatever we all had to try to coexist struggling is struggling keep in mind I'm only 20 and as much as id like to say the south as a whole has changed from the certain state of mind its famous for it's still present not like it was but it's still there just like anywhere else. I've had people come at me with the same thing your talking about i don't pay it no mind most the women I've been with weren't white they were black not like i got a preference I always went by who they were as a person love is love, as long as the two of you love each other who cares what anybody thinks? I understand that whole "ulterior motive" thing too, I laugh everytime people try to tell me I've got some hidden agenda as to why i do whatever i don't pay it no mind somebody once told me ignorance is bliss I swear that's the truth though, haha, keep your head up.

[kat949]

Originally Posted by tengdog

I'm white, and I grew up in a very ethnically diverse area, and I also attended an ethnically diverse school where there were a lot of Blacks and Latinos. My best friend and girlfriend are black.

Now I'm in my first year of college and I'm far from home and apparently, according to some people here, I act "black." Yes, "act black," as if every single black person on the planet falls under one single characterization. When I ask them why they think I act black, they cite the fact that I listen to a lot of jazz, old skool hip-hop, soul, funk and old-style RnB. They also cite the fact that I play and watch a lot of basketball as being another corroborating factor, along with my best friend and girlfriend both being black.

Yes, it's true, my favourite genres of music have been pioneered and dominated by black artists and yeah, the NBA is something like 80% black, but just because someone enjoys certain music driven by a certain group and just because someone enjoys a sport that is dominated by a certain group, it doesn't mean that person is some kind of self-hating character. And apparently, it's completely impossible to have friends or lovers of a different race without some kind of ulterior motive.

There's also a black guy in my class and people say he acts "white" behind his back. The reason? Well, this guy is really smart but also really introverted; the only time he really talks is in class, and he spends most of his time on his own. He doesn't go to parties and a lot of the time he's in the library, studying.

Apparently blacks are incapable of being smart and silent.

Am I the only one who finds these broad generalizations and stereotypes absolutely ridiculous?

Nope. Glad to see someone who's clearly sane and smart enough to see through the B.S.!

[tengdog]

Originally Posted by jade408

When I was in high school, guys like you would have been called W**gers. Instead of the much more polite "acting black." All ridiculous of course.

You didn't mention how old you are, but I find it pretty hilarious people are still using this terminology based on music and sports interests. By the time I got to middle/high school, just about everyone was listing to Nirvana, Snoop, Madonna, Dave Matthews Band, Blues Traveler, Blackstreet, BBD, and 2Pac. You were pretty much a weirdo if you weren't.

Basically everyone I know around my age knows all of those songs. Even those who only listen to "indie hipster music" now.

I'm 18.

And in terms of musical taste, it's relevant that you bring that up, because the music that is predominant on the college campus is hip-hop.

[tengdog]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

I grew up in America's second largest metro area and went to very mixed schools. MANY black kids DON'T like it when other black kids sound white. A minimum level of Ebonics must be present in the communication patterns to fit in. If it's not, you find that they hang around white people. Which doesn't bother me in the least. My black friends did not speak Ebonics, but it was obvious that they were black, because there is a specific tone of voice. (Just like there is a slight hint of Hispanic intonation, even when speaking to an educated Hispanic). The one exception that readily comes to mind is a black kid I went to HS with who already lived in an almost exclusively white neighborhood, his parents were upper middle class, and he just kept on "acting" and frequenting white people. No problem.

The reference to great athletes and great musicians is actually a big thorn in the side for the black community. Many kids aspire to achieving the same things as a way out of that predicament, without making another investment in more practical learning, and then suffer severe disappointments and get into trouble out of desperation. It's sad.

About other blacks making fun of blacks who try to better themselves, let's face it, if a black person wants a corner office up in the sky or to speak in front a courtroom, the Ebonics need to "take a hike." One of my friends referred to this issue as the "crab in the bucket" syndrome. That is, if you ever watch someone crabbing and they have a bucket for their catch, the crab at the top of the heap is more apt to make an exit out of the top of the bucket, but the other crabs intertwined with it keep it from doing so. I never thought of it that way, but I understood the analogy. It somewhat exists in Hispanic communities, though nowhere near as much, especially for Hispanics who can "pass." It is nonexistent in Asian communities, where excelling is the expected norm.

Kudos to the black guy or gal who has no problem with "sounding" white (or should I say American), hits the books, and makes something of themselves.

It's interesting that you bring up the topic about black kids castigating other black kids for sounding "white." My group of close friends, black, white and Latino, never experienced that within our circle because we were a very tightly knit group - we'd known each other since we were little, so that kind of B.S. didn't exist within us.

However, some of my black friends experienced that when it came to coming across other blacks we weren't familiar with. My best friend is super smart (he got a scholarship to Michigan to study law) and he sporadically caught flak for that from some black kids he already had friction with. He's a real calm, laid back kind of guy, but that kind of stuff really got to him.

[mateo45]

Originally Posted by tengdog

It's interesting that you bring up the topic about black kids castigating other black kids for sounding "white." My group of close friends, black, white and Latino, never experienced that within our circle because we were a very tightly knit group - we'd known each other since we were little, so that kind of B.S. didn't exist within us.

However, some of my black friends experienced that when it came to coming across other blacks we weren't familiar with. My best friend is super smart (he got a scholarship to Michigan to study law) and he sporadically caught flak for that from some black kids he already had friction with. He's a real calm, laid back kind of guy, but that kind of stuff really got to him.

A college-educated black friend of mine who worked in social services in L.A. in the Watts area, used to catch a lot of similar flak for "acting white", which deeply pained him for all the great work he was trying to do there. And interesting that poor underclass blacks and underclass whites both share the same attitudes re: education.

Conservative black author Thomas Sowell wrote an interesting book, titled "Black Rednecks and White Liberals", where he claims that "authentic black culture", is historically neither authentic nor black in origin. Not sure I agree with all of this, but Sowell argues that the black ghetto culture is in fact a relic of a highly dysfunctional poor white southern redneck culture which existed during the antebellum South (which BTW, also continues to look down on education as something for "elites").