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Old 10-30-2012, 11:50 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,683,442 times
Reputation: 26711

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
man I guess I needed to hear these stories. I'm thinking about putting a huge distance between my mother and I or cutting her out altogether. She's incredibly emotionally abusive. I would never say half the stuff she has said to me, to my own children. Its destructive, in my opinion. thing is, she's still my mother. That's why i'm torn.
Just ask yourself, if this were a friend of mine and not my mother, would you put up with it or end the relationship?

The other thing is maybe you do need to shut off complete contact, but maybe just for awhile and see after some time if you can re-establish a better relationship. Like I said in my post, I was MIA with my father for 3 years at first and then we tried to re-establish a relationship and for a while thngs were fine - it didn't last, but I at least know I tried everything I possibly could.
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Old 10-31-2012, 02:46 AM
 
Location: Earth
438 posts, read 558,920 times
Reputation: 2938
I have come full circle, we didn't speak for many many years. The past is behind us now.
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Old 11-02-2012, 05:58 PM
 
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,810,821 times
Reputation: 2593
It took many, many years for me to finally let go of my relationship with my mom (if you want to call it that) - she cares about herself and that's it. When I was a kid she didn't call, write, or try to see me for at least 5 years and before then she was aloof and indifferent to me. She wouldn't feed me when I was a kid - my school pictures show me as emaciated and dirty, with my hair in my eyes (basically in dire need of someone to take care of me.

One day, I was asking questions about my brother who she also abandoned and ignored showing no interest in his life. She didn't want to answer my questions. So she stated, "why do you give me such a hard time? You're just like your dad." Wrong thing to say to me. That was it. Now, it's a very small incident but when you take a lifetime of abusive comments and behavior and lack of love from her... it was enough to set me over the edge. So I hung up and have not spoken to her in 5 years and counting. I have no interest in ever speaking to her again. She hurt all of her kids, not just me. My brother and sister both have abandonment issues and I've seen the damage my mom has caused them.

I know there was a time when I loved my mom, because I think that's what kids tend to do despite their parents flaws. But there can come a time when that kid grows up and realizes that when they loved their parent, their parent didn't care.
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Old 11-02-2012, 06:07 PM
 
Location: the Sun
521 posts, read 633,381 times
Reputation: 376
I got tired of hearing my parents having loud sex every other night.
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