U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-02-2012, 09:45 AM
 
201 posts, read 420,087 times
Reputation: 248

Advertisements

Thanksgiving is coming in three weeks and I am dreading it. We have to make the long drive to my wife's family and spend the long weekend there. It will be terrible if history is any indicator.

My wife's parents are cold and cruel to her and her sisters pick on her. My wife is too unsure of herself to fight back and just takes it. Her lack of confidence is one of the reasons she is picked on, she has a sign on her that says HIT ME!

I have discussed it with my wife and she is angry about how her parents and sisters treat her but says she is intimidated by them and is afraid to stand up for herself. I just go nuts sitting there watching her be abused and don't want to go to her family but we still go.

If you were in my shoes would you give her parents and sisters a piece of your mind or just sit and watch the abuse happen?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-02-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,388 posts, read 23,951,105 times
Reputation: 48443
If it's that terrible, why are you going? I'm all for sucking it up for family togetherness especially if intentions are good, but if her family is actively hostile and the experience is entirely unpleasant, you'd be better off staying home and doing your own Thanksgiving.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 11-02-2012 at 10:13 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 10:03 AM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,075 posts, read 11,791,117 times
Reputation: 6292
Yeah, hang with your family instead.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 10:04 AM
 
12,870 posts, read 15,325,162 times
Reputation: 14795
I'm wondering the same fleetiebelle...to the OP, if she were my wife I ABSOLUTELY would DEMAND that they show my wife respect...I would definitely not just sit and watch them abuse the one I love....if they couldn't be at least civil to her, we'd beat a fast track outa there...though I doubt I'd even go to begin with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 10:06 AM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,075 posts, read 11,791,117 times
Reputation: 6292
I can show you how to make a catapault out of a tablespoon and some mashed potatoes.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 10:07 AM
 
12,870 posts, read 15,325,162 times
Reputation: 14795
snooper you sound as unsure of yourself as you say your wife is, otherwise I can't imagine a man going "nuts sitting there watching her be abused", and doing nothing about it...for me, that's really hard to understand, I'm not sure I ever could.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,761,190 times
Reputation: 4425
Yes, why ARE you going? If you already know the event is going to be awful and both of you are dreading it, why even bother? Does anyone think things will be different this time? If you are both so miserable with these people just tell them sorry, you can't make it. If they get mad, then tell them why you're not coming. It might be a tad cowardly but it could be easier to do this over the phone - at least then you can have the fun of hanging up on them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 11:53 AM
 
23 posts, read 38,635 times
Reputation: 73
Find something else to do that will give her a reason to say "that won't work for us." Surprise her with a romantic weekend at the shore (not the NY or Jersey side - those poor people ) or the mountains, if those geographic features are available. Or maybe a nice downtown location.

She can appreciate your thoughtfulness, you can have the fun of imagining the anger of her family

Poor folks, a Thanksgiving without their favorite sport: picking on your wife. I bet they won't enjoy the holiday
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 12:11 PM
 
155 posts, read 300,708 times
Reputation: 349
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAZ View Post
I can show you how to make a catapault out of a tablespoon and some mashed potatoes.

If you and your wife do go - personnally, I wouldn't - this is not a bad idea and sounds like something I would do. After all, it would deflect all the anger and hostility away from my wife and on to me. Then I could really tell them what I think.

We probably wouldn't be invited to anymore Thanksgivings - no big loss. But I sure would go out with a bang. Shoot, it would be the talk of my wife and kids for years - the day dad pelted grandma/grandpa and the aunts with mash potatoes!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-02-2012, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,205 posts, read 7,833,734 times
Reputation: 53087
It's hard to get caught up with the family dynamics you didn't grow up with. I stay out of my husbands dealings with his dysfunctional family. He is more than welcome to go visit the nut jobs if he wants to, that's his business. I choose not to and so does he. I would never stop him from participating in family holidays and I would prefer to stay home alone. Maybe you should do the same with your spouses family and she may choose to stay home with you and have a romantic holiday in place of the dysfunction.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top