Wife's parents need $2000 or they will be evicited from their home! (present, retired)

[Chowhound]

Do you have a large couch??



I suggest you come up with some cash soon.....

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by goodbyesnow

Having defaulted on a mortgage, (bad housing market, listed way below what we owe & still didnt sell and we had to move) I know that we moved and stopped paying, not knowing that it took over 6 months of nonpayment for the mtg. company to put our mortgage into default and say they were going to change the locks,etc-we could have not paid for 6 months and not been kicked out! (we paid until we moved out)
I know someone who was in a similar situation and didnt pay for a year and were not removed, so I find this very hard to believe.

I was thinking the exact same thing. These inlaws are ignorant, manipulative drama queens. Do not return the call.

[NY Annie]

IF you decide to help them out, protect yourself by:

1. Insist that they go to a financial planner (and go with them as part of the deal) to take control of their finances, teach them, and to put them on an allowance; requesting that financial planner negotiate with the bank on their behalf;
2. Get a promissory note, including interest equal to the terms they might get at a bank;
3. RECORD that promissory note in the land records.
4. And, as others have advised, make the payment directly to their bank.

For the last 2, you need an attorney. For a low-cost attorney, contact "your city" Bar Association Lawyer Referral Service.

[jasper12]

For $2000...I would do it. That is not $20,000....so...just give it to them.

[Minethatbird]

Originally Posted by snooper

If you read my other posting about my wife's cold distant family that treats each other and my wife poorly you may understand how family dynamics can impact a marriage.

The latest news is her parents left a voice mail that said that unless they can come up with two months of mortgage payments ($2000) they will be evicited from their home and be homeless. No one else in the family has any money and we have to help them.

Should we?

Have they managed to respond to your wife's Email yet?

[PAhippo]

Originally Posted by jasper12

For $2000...I would do it. That is not $20,000....so...just give it to them.

yea---and how many times would you do that? Leaving the lousy relationship aside, that would just be enabling self destructive behavior.

I go back to my 'just say no' and let them take it from there.

[cpg35223]

Here's what nobody seems to get in their rush to say "Screw 'em."

1. While I believe what the OP says, there's always the chance that there are extenuating circumstances. Medical bills, for example.
2. The OP might be able to contribute to the discussion, but this is his wife's parents, not his. What they do ultimately depends on how she feels about her relationship with her parents. Because, despite how lousy the relationship might be, she will feel awful in the long run if her parents lose their house because she wouldn't lend them a couple of grand.
3. If she decides that the money needs to be lent, then he needs to have ground rules with his wife on this, to ensure that they are not perpetually subsidizing the in-laws.

[PAhippo]

You might want to read the 2nd post.

And I have wondered why the OP hasn't mentioned how his wife feels.

[snooper]

The wife is leaning towards saying no I wanted to say yes, just this once.

They have not replied yet to our request for family counseling. Maybe payment might be connected to this request. No family counseling acceptance no $2000 bail out.

[Book Lover 21]

Here is what makes it difficult; if you are the only ones that can help them, then the REST of the family will be down on you if you don't help.

I am usually a real tough-love person, but in this case, I would do it. Pay it directly to the mortgage company like others have said. Explain that this is a ONE-TIME deal. Do not expect to get paid back. You will just be setting yourselves up for disappointment.

And let me tell you something if this is the first time you have given them a hand-out. If you do this, then every trip they tell you about, every purchase they make, you will be grinding your teeth in resentment. Especially if you don't get paid back. There is the possibility that this could make your relationship even worse.

Good luck, you're in a tough spot.