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Old 11-21-2012, 12:54 PM
 
201 posts, read 421,932 times
Reputation: 248

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Here in the Washington DC area lots of people complain about the lack of warmth and conversation from neighbors and coworkers. Recent changes to my life have really shown this is the case.

My wife was offered a great job down in Raleigh NC with an open ended start date based on the successful sale of our house. So we put the house we have lived in for 15 years up to sale and got a a couple of offers in just a week. Our house has a sign in front of it that says UNDER CONTRACT, so all our neighbors can see we are moving on. We are moving out of DC and will relocate to Raleigh in a month.

Both of us have put in notices at our employers and because we both have visible jobs that involve lots of customer and employee interaction we sent out emails telling the staff we are leaving.

So far a week has passed and neither of us has heard a word from any of our neighbors and outside of our small department neigher of us has heard a word from anyone at our employers about leaving town.

They must hate both of us and are silently happy to see us go. Or just don't care.

I feel like Mitt Rommney, after losing and not having any clout any more no one wants anything to do with us. We are moving on, have lost our clout at work and now no one cares!
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:22 PM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,782,193 times
Reputation: 1532
Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
Here in the Washington DC area lots of people complain about the lack of warmth and conversation from neighbors and coworkers. Recent changes to my life have really shown this is the case.

My wife was offered a great job down in Raleigh NC with an open ended start date based on the successful sale of our house. So we put the house we have lived in for 15 years up to sale and got a a couple of offers in just a week. Our house has a sign in front of it that says UNDER CONTRACT, so all our neighbors can see we are moving on. We are moving out of DC and will relocate to Raleigh in a month.

Both of us have put in notices at our employers and because we both have visible jobs that involve lots of customer and employee interaction we sent out emails telling the staff we are leaving.

So far a week has passed and neither of us has heard a word from any of our neighbors and outside of our small department neigher of us has heard a word from anyone at our employers about leaving town.

They must hate both of us and are silently happy to see us go. Or just don't care.

I feel like Mitt Rommney, after losing and not having any clout any more no one wants anything to do with us. We are moving on, have lost our clout at work and now no one cares!
I can agree with that - I am not sure if its just disinterest, there just concerned about themselves.

I recently left a job, and most of the people I told I got the feeling their were more just interested to find out where you going to - Probably so they could get a job there, or try to suss out how much your getting paid.

There was no wishing you well, or even a pleasant chat - you got the feeling their were faking any friendliness in order to gain information.

And plus who was going to take over my work, so they could avoid it perhaps.

Its the general attitude these days - When something good happens you people think how can I benefit from this.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
1,645 posts, read 1,786,850 times
Reputation: 3324
Don't expect other people to care for your good fortune and success.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:39 PM
 
Location: in my mind
4,754 posts, read 6,527,036 times
Reputation: 9485
I would only expect close friends to truly care in a situation like this, and then to get cursory interest/concern from anyone else.
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Old 11-21-2012, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Between amicable and ornery
1,097 posts, read 1,451,022 times
Reputation: 1468
It sounds like you're looking for someone to gloat to. Which kind of response have you given to someone who has left your neighborhood/office in the past? On the other side of the coin, in this economy, maybe your neighbors don't want to impose thinking maybe there's marital or financial trouble. As far as work, maybe they're waiting for someone to throw you a good riddance, I mean good-bye party. Just kidding about the good riddance.

Best of luck to you both in your new adventure!
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:20 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,890 posts, read 13,550,490 times
Reputation: 15338
Raleigh is much more friendly

You'll love it.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:35 PM
 
676 posts, read 1,052,627 times
Reputation: 1126
Good luck on both fronts! Any time I've changed jobs, I haven't gotten much reaction beyond my department, though a few people from outside did come up to me to thank me for the work I'd done for them and wish me well. Have you had your last day yet? A lot of people wait 'til the last day to wish you well. Also, I think for some people it's hard to say goodbye to someone they like and see on a daily basis.

Neighbors, when I last moved, a few of them made it a point to say goodbye and wish me well. One couple were even sweet enough to buy a photo of a nice view from our apartment building at an art fair (a tenant of the building is a photographer and had taken it) as a going away present. It was very unexpected and I was touched by their thoughtfulness. Another neighbor told me she would miss me as a neighbor and hoped I got a neighbor who is as good as a neighbor as me. Again, unexpected. I generally don't do much out of the ordinary. I try not to make too much noise, I'm understanding of reasonable noise during reasonable hours and if someone's sick or injured, I ask if they need any store runs or other help. I consider that standard. The last part is more how my neighbors and I operate, though we do occasionally go out to dinner with each other.

I think it depends on a lot. Are you close to them? How long have you lived there? Are people generally friendly or not? In some areas, people are socializing a lot. In others, it's more a casual hi, how are you and look out for each other when there's illness, injury or emergencies (blizzards or the power outages from Sandy).
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Old 11-21-2012, 03:28 PM
 
16,018 posts, read 19,670,751 times
Reputation: 26200
Throw yourself a going away party...If no one comes then you'll know you were correct in your assumption.
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Old 11-21-2012, 03:42 PM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,520,666 times
Reputation: 28901
Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
Here in the Washington DC area lots of people complain about the lack of warmth and conversation from neighbors and coworkers. Recent changes to my life have really shown this is the case.

My wife was offered a great job down in Raleigh NC with an open ended start date based on the successful sale of our house. So we put the house we have lived in for 15 years up to sale and got a a couple of offers in just a week. Our house has a sign in front of it that says UNDER CONTRACT, so all our neighbors can see we are moving on. We are moving out of DC and will relocate to Raleigh in a month.

Both of us have put in notices at our employers and because we both have visible jobs that involve lots of customer and employee interaction we sent out emails telling the staff we are leaving.

So far a week has passed and neither of us has heard a word from any of our neighbors and outside of our small department neigher of us has heard a word from anyone at our employers about leaving town.

They must hate both of us and are silently happy to see us go. Or just don't care.

I feel like Mitt Rommney, after losing and not having any clout any more no one wants anything to do with us. We are moving on, have lost our clout at work and now no one cares!
Must be you. When I left that area, there were several farewell parties, quite a few tears, and a lot of booze.

Wait, I just sounded like a cold Washingtonian.

But let me ask you this: How well do you know your neighbors? Did you socialize with them? Have a drink with them? Same for your coworkers. Ever go to happy hour? Ever offer to help anyone with anything or volunteer? Ever go the extra mile?

I say this because although I've heard that complaint about D.C., I just never experienced it. The only people I knew who had a problem making friends there were tea-totalers or people who never extended themselves for anyone else. D.C. is very much a party town for people in their 20s, a foodie/wine snob town for people in their 30s and older. It's also a very liberal city, filled with civil servants and do-gooding non-profits and the people who work for them. If you never either go for drinks or do something to serve others, you'll have a hard time fitting in, and you won't be missed.

Just my observation.

P.S. People there also don't like discrepancies in stories, Mr. Oregon Zip Code. Dealing with politicians and their staff is enough.

Last edited by Lilac110; 11-21-2012 at 03:55 PM..
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Old 11-23-2012, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
1,434 posts, read 1,547,138 times
Reputation: 1604
Perhaps your right Op, they just don't care. I find it shocking that the people you've lived with and worked with for 15 years have no concern for your moving on.

Perhaps, they are just jealous. If that's the case, move on and don't think twice about your old neighbors and co-workers.
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