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Old 11-26-2012, 02:28 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,174,474 times
Reputation: 29088

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayita View Post
I am the only single, childless woman at work, and those women HATE me. And arent afraid to say it.

How do you deal with that? We are close knit and talk about our lifes and some of them just basically either envy my freedom and disposable income or just plain hate me.

Any advice woudl be appreciated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
They kind of smirked that I would get on the big jumbo jet and head to Europe or South America for vacation, instead of going to Yellowstone with a family in tow.
See, what I don't understand is how these people come to have that information. Why would you voluntarily share that kind of thing with others? In Mayita's case, it could be judgment after she answered a question, but for you, Robert, if you're volunteering this information and talking about jumbo jets, I can see where others might construe that as bragging. Either way, both of you might want to reconsider how much you share with people and pull back a bit.

That said, I did work in one small office comprised mostly of married women with kids or grandkids. There was one other divorced woman, but she had adult kids. I absolutely hated the whole "getting to know you" ladies lunch. I knew what was coming when they all went around the table introducing themselves, and rather than talking about what they did for the company, it was all about their kids. Honestly? I found it to be a bit unprofessional in its presumption. Sorry, no, I couldn't give a rat's behind about someone's kid when I just met that person a week before. And not to sound snooty, but it just made them sound like rubes. Some of these women were rather accomplished, with advanced degrees, and they devolved into boasting about their kids and reminiscing about how someone else's water broke at the office. Just... no.

The only thing that popped into my head when they asked if I had kids was to say, "No, I was married to one, thanks." The divorced person laughed. The rest gave me the deer-in-the-headlights look.

I didn't work there for long. In fact, it's crap like that which prompted me to swear off working for or with small businesses and family-owned businesses. I've found the culture in such places to be too intrusive.
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Old 11-26-2012, 02:29 PM
 
601 posts, read 1,073,253 times
Reputation: 325
Quote:
Originally Posted by mayita View Post
I am the only single, childless woman at work, and those women HATE me. And arent afraid to say it.

How do you deal with that? We are close knit and talk about our lifes and some of them just basically either envy my freedom and disposable income or just plain hate me.

Any advice woudl be appreciated.
I know you grown but your first mistake was talking about your personal life at work, while women love to gossip. Just keep being kind but be cautious at the same time.
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Old 11-26-2012, 02:38 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,174,474 times
Reputation: 29088
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
My own MIL was actually asked to retire early because she was such a problem at her work. She doesnt like young attractive women. Its her own insecurity and bitchyness. Management couldnt figure out why great candidates were leaving the company shortly after being hired. Then one girl was bold enough to say exactly why, then the pattern became obvious.

That's another behavior I don't understand. I'm totally the opposite. I'd rather mentor someone, especially if she reminds me of myself at her age.
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Old 11-26-2012, 03:56 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,049,794 times
Reputation: 46669
Quote:
Originally Posted by mayita View Post
I am the only single, childless woman at work, and those women HATE me. And arent afraid to say it.

How do you deal with that? We are close knit and talk about our lifes and some of them just basically either envy my freedom and disposable income or just plain hate me.

Any advice woudl be appreciated.
Okay. Define your single lifestyle. Are you just mentioning that you are not in a long-term relationship? Or are you recounting how you play Bed Bingo with just about any man with a appendage between legs?

Big difference between the two. Personally, I think you're likely giving them TMI on your dating life, thereby opening the door to their disapproval. Save that kind of stuff for your single girlfriends who understand.

What's more, I certainly don't hate single people. But a fair number of single people tend to yap on and on about their carefree lives while people who are married with kids are hip deep on their weekends with little league, laundry, and lawn mowing--And those are just the commitments that begin with the letter L. So, yeah, it gets really tiresome to hear, for the thirtieth consecutive Monday, "Hey, I managed to skydive, ride a Harley, and go to Bonaroo all on the same weekend!"

Otherwise, tell them to shut up. Seriously.

Last edited by cpg35223; 11-26-2012 at 04:10 PM..
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Old 11-26-2012, 05:59 PM
 
1,119 posts, read 1,368,643 times
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They talk about their personal lifes as well.... But as i dont care i say nothing.

But you guys are right, i am going avoid any comments from now on.... They gave me the impression they were cool and progressive but obvi they are not.
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Old 11-26-2012, 06:01 PM
 
1,119 posts, read 1,368,643 times
Reputation: 652
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Okay. Define your single lifestyle. Are you just mentioning that you are not in a long-term relationship? Or are you recounting how you play Bed Bingo with just about any man with a appendage between legs?

Big difference between the two. Personally, I think you're likely giving them TMI on your dating life, thereby opening the door to their disapproval. Save that kind of stuff for your single girlfriends who understand.

What's more, I certainly don't hate single people. But a fair number of single people tend to yap on and on about their carefree lives while people who are married with kids are hip deep on their weekends with little league, laundry, and lawn mowing--And those are just the commitments that begin with the letter L. So, yeah, it gets really tiresome to hear, for the thirtieth consecutive Monday, "Hey, I managed to skydive, ride a Harley, and go to Bonaroo all on the same weekend!"

Otherwise, tell them to shut up. Seriously.
Honey my bosses talk about their personal life in graphic detail (yeap) and i dont care.... But the meanies only target me.

Anyway thanks for the great advise, it was v. Helpful
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Old 11-26-2012, 06:02 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,150,354 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Okay. Define your single lifestyle. Are you just mentioning that you are not in a long-term relationship? Or are you recounting how you play Bed Bingo with just about any man with a appendage between legs?

Big difference between the two. Personally, I think you're likely giving them TMI on your dating life, thereby opening the door to their disapproval. Save that kind of stuff for your single girlfriends who understand.

What's more, I certainly don't hate single people. But a fair number of single people tend to yap on and on about their carefree lives while people who are married with kids are hip deep on their weekends with little league, laundry, and lawn mowing--And those are just the commitments that begin with the letter L. So, yeah, it gets really tiresome to hear, for the thirtieth consecutive Monday, "Hey, I managed to skydive, ride a Harley, and go to Bonaroo all on the same weekend!"

Otherwise, tell them to shut up. Seriously.
OP....This post is probably a fine example of the snooty behaviors you're trying to describe. Talk about assumptions...
I would just not tell them anything. I am one of those folks that doesn't share my info at work. I find it intrusive to share personal info w/ someone that doesn't even know me. I've had my share of snarky women in my life...if you aren't someone that I go do things with outside of work, I'm not giving much personal info beyond the basics, and I'm sure not sharing my problems.
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Old 11-26-2012, 06:10 PM
NCN
 
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,662 posts, read 25,569,421 times
Reputation: 24373
It could be the opposite. I once had a boss that was gay and resented people like me that had a very happy family life. My policy has always been to keep home at home and work at work, but this lady would take it personally if she had a party and some of us did not show up. It seemed she thought she owned us instead of us being employees with a life outside the job. She didn't last long.

She was my boss at work but socially I was far above her level. I think she resented that. I was more on the social level of her bosses.
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Old 11-26-2012, 06:17 PM
 
1,119 posts, read 1,368,643 times
Reputation: 652
I am not leaving this job over this but definetely I am not going to the xmas party, because lately they examine every single piece of clothing I am wearing, my shoes, make up etc, and if I cannot dress well without being their target I would rather out with my friends. No need for drama.
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Old 11-26-2012, 06:20 PM
 
676 posts, read 1,258,951 times
Reputation: 1160
The thing is some places do expect an appearance at the office party. Another option may be to stop by and leave early Is there anyone you get along with well enough there to hang out for a bit?
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