Sibling rivalry...is it a good thing, or a bad thing?

[BrnTmr4Brkfst]

Eh, sort of. When I was a kid I was reasonably good at sketching, definitely better than average. My brother was still noticeably better than I was, so I sort of gave that up. It seemed pointless to continue something I would always play second fiddle at.

Anyway, most people would consider me more successful than my brother, so I don't really care much now. He has zero ambition. He doesn't even get up in the AM most days.

[malamute]

Siblings are great -- but just like with friends, neighbors, and so on --- you simply must choose not to be filled with hate and envy if they have something you don't have.

Besides you really never know how life will turn out -- you might always have less money but if you ever had to watch a sibling suffer serious health issues, you stop caring so much about money, if you're the one with great health.

[new_to_seattle]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

Don't worry... I'm you and my sister was the high achieving one. Now that we're older, we're actually almost on the same level. One thing, you never know how life will turn out.

My sister was supposed to be the doctor, got into a real good college. And just... got overwhelmed with everything ultimately and failed out her first year. Kept getting into bad situations with people too. It took her years to even get back into school where she finally got herself a diploma. She ended up getting a dead-end job that has nothing to do with her diploma. I'm not sure if she's really content with her life or if she resigned to never being content.

Me, the wild bohemian one... went to school, worked hard, partied harder. Should've studied more, LOL... but I didn't care for that really. Ended up leaving school twice. Once to be a photographer and another to "find" myself out in the desert. I still haven't yet graduated from university, even though my (Asian) mother nags constantly about it and gets upset because I only have a few credits left. Am happy and weirdly enough, have a less "chaotic" life (emotionally) than my sister.

The family dynamic however hasn't changed... I'm still viewed as the wild irresponsible "bad" one and my sister the good responsible one, which is annoying. I don't think that's going to change.


Keep living your life the way you want and keep at it. You never know when or how the situation can tilt and you come out in the better end. It could very well be that your brother looks at you and envy for having a less pressured life.

I doubt your mother started viewing you as the "wild irresponsible "bad" one" for no reason.
Usually one child is much more difficult to parent then the other, and thats where that reputation comes from.