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Old 12-04-2012, 10:12 AM
 
201 posts, read 422,495 times
Reputation: 248

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Many of our neighbors when I make an effort at chit chat look at me like I am crazy. I can see what is going in their mind:

"Why is this man talking to me? Just because he lives next door does not give him any reason to expect I should take time out of my busy day to chat with him. I didn't choose to live next to him. The only reason he is talking to me is he thinks I will talk back because he is a neighbor. This is not the 1950s, I don't have time for this foolishness. I have my own friends to talk to!"

Can you relate? Does my neighbor owe me any conversation because I live near him (manners wise)???
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:23 AM
 
3,753 posts, read 9,611,799 times
Reputation: 7049
No. But it is common sense to become familiar with all your neighbors in case of emergency. It would be nice if everyone enjoyed living there and being "neighborly" but some parts of the country are very insular and you would have to be born there or live there for 50 years to enter the culture. Just the way it is.

Take a plate of cookies and just tell them you want them to feel comfortable and know who is living in your house/apt. in case of emergency and to please call you if they have questions or need a little help. Discussion depends a lot on the age of each side.

My mother in law living in a neighborhood for 35 years and knew only a few neighbors. But when she was moving, they all came out and helped and wished her well. She saved the life of one elderly neighbor by calling 911 when she could not get ahold of her and the neighbor could not open her door. So being neighborly can have important results.

They dont owe you anything.
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:50 AM
 
916 posts, read 1,766,398 times
Reputation: 2198
Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
Many of our neighbors when I make an effort at chit chat look at me like I am crazy. I can see what is going in their mind:

"Why is this man talking to me? Just because he lives next door does not give him any reason to expect I should take time out of my busy day to chat with him. I didn't choose to live next to him. The only reason he is talking to me is he thinks I will talk back because he is a neighbor. This is not the 1950s, I don't have time for this foolishness. I have my own friends to talk to!"

Can you relate? Does my neighbor owe me any conversation because I live near him (manners wise)???
It depends on where you live, and what your neighbors are like.

Your neighbor doesn't "owe" you any conversation. It's polite to acknowledge greetings when made, but nothing is required beyond that. IME, expecting anything more than that is imposing on your neighbors, which isn't really neighborly. Personally, I believe "good fences make good neighbors". If you're dead set on befriending the neighbors, take it slowly, don't rush things, and take the opportunities that come up on their own as they come up.
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Old 12-04-2012, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,790,372 times
Reputation: 8838
Do you ever listen in on people's conversations in public places and wish you were friends?

welcome back again dingler/weekend traveler.
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Old 12-04-2012, 12:20 PM
 
Location: The Big O
590 posts, read 664,515 times
Reputation: 435
Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
Can you relate? Does my neighbor owe me any conversation because I live near him (manners wise)???
A friend my age and I each bought houses in different neighborhoods three years ago. Many of his new neighbors came to his house to introduce themselves. He knows the names about more than 15 neighbors.

I have not met anyone of my neighbors after three years and they have no interest to say "hi" even when we are mowing our lawns and come within 10 feet of each other. : ) Group dynamics are interesting.
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Old 12-04-2012, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,813,797 times
Reputation: 4425
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
No. But it is common sense to become familiar with all your neighbors in case of emergency.
I agree with this part! Especially if anyone is living alone. It just can't hurt for people to be aware of their neighbours and hopefully notice if something doesn't seem right. But you can't force it. If neighbours don't want to know, you have to back off. You could just keep going with the occasional, "Good morning" or "How's it going?" and hopefully a gradual thawing will occur.
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Old 12-04-2012, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Greater NYC
2,908 posts, read 4,928,814 times
Reputation: 3872
No, but if he wants you to tell him someone is casing his house he should.

People like your neighbor are not only self-involved, they are naive and dim-witted.
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Old 12-04-2012, 02:47 PM
 
28,905 posts, read 46,767,657 times
Reputation: 46040
Yes. Quit being a snob.
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Old 12-04-2012, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,346 posts, read 83,052,469 times
Reputation: 17517
Too many indoor things to keep people occupied rather than sitting out and chatting with their neighbors. Who needs real friends when you have Facebook? Who needs advice or data when you have City Data Forum and Wikipedia and Google?

Thirty years ago there was Channels 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13 (here in LA). Now there are 69 gillion channels.
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Old 12-04-2012, 04:15 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,890 posts, read 13,569,336 times
Reputation: 15338
This thread reminds me of how much I hate running into neighbors. Especially when I'm taking out the dog. lol
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