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Old 12-05-2012, 06:20 PM
 
Location: The Great White North
414 posts, read 887,685 times
Reputation: 506

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I'm finishing up my first semester of grad school, and it recently crossed my mind that I really don't have any friends here. I have lots of acquaintances in class that I'm on friendly terms with, and I hang out with a group of people every few weeks after class, but that's it. A big part of the problem seems to be that most of the other students in the program are a few years older and married, whereas I'm in my mid-20's and single. There's undergrads, but I'm a TA so hanging out with them would be a little weird, given that I might be teaching them next semester. I'd be interested in meeting students from other departments, but I really don't know how to go about that.

I've never had this problem before. In undergrad I had a group of friends I hung out with regularly, and that was even with me living off-campus. After graduating, I spent a couple of years working where I was part of a really tight-knit group of friends. Here, it just seems like things aren't working, and it's bothering me. I'm a pretty self-sufficient guy, but having some common base of friends is nice.

So, does anyone have any suggestions? I've only got a couple of weeks left in this term before I head home for break (thankfully I have some friends there, and not to mention family), so I'll be ready for a fresh start next semester. Thanks
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Boston
701 posts, read 1,272,264 times
Reputation: 1021
I'm in the very same boat, so I definitely feel your pain. I wish I had an answer for you, but unfortunately I do not because I'm also on friendly terms with a few of my classmates but that's about it. Hopefully someone can come in and give some advice?
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:29 AM
 
1,288 posts, read 2,408,232 times
Reputation: 766
It will become harder and harder as you age.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:13 AM
 
5,244 posts, read 4,293,278 times
Reputation: 1840
So you are heading "home for break" so this is not where you grew up or plan to stay after grad school? I never went to grad school but I always envision it as a stepping stone; you do what you need to do there and find a job elsewhere. If that is indeed the case, I would not worry about. And if that is the case for others, they don't want to waste time building friendships with people they may not see after that either. Maintain friendships with people at "home" in order to have friends to email, call, or facebook. Finish the job at grad school. Once you graduate make new friends at the new job.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 20,265,187 times
Reputation: 31763
Get involved in some community activities and things that you are interested in. Your friends do not have to be in college and this is a good way to really know your new community. You will be surprised at the people you will meet.
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Old 12-08-2012, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,966 posts, read 6,503,896 times
Reputation: 44369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timing2012 View Post
It will become harder and harder as you age.
There is so much truth to this post.

I haven't made a new friend in 22 years.
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Old 12-08-2012, 04:01 PM
 
16,019 posts, read 19,698,244 times
Reputation: 26200
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbqTeacher View Post
I'm finishing up my first semester of grad school, and it recently crossed my mind that I really don't have any friends here. I have lots of acquaintances in class that I'm on friendly terms with, and I hang out with a group of people every few weeks after class, but that's it. A big part of the problem seems to be that most of the other students in the program are a few years older and married, whereas I'm in my mid-20's and single. There's undergrads, but I'm a TA so hanging out with them would be a little weird, given that I might be teaching them next semester. I'd be interested in meeting students from other departments, but I really don't know how to go about that.

I've never had this problem before. In undergrad I had a group of friends I hung out with regularly, and that was even with me living off-campus. After graduating, I spent a couple of years working where I was part of a really tight-knit group of friends. Here, it just seems like things aren't working, and it's bothering me. I'm a pretty self-sufficient guy, but having some common base of friends is nice.

So, does anyone have any suggestions? I've only got a couple of weeks left in this term before I head home for break (thankfully I have some friends there, and not to mention family), so I'll be ready for a fresh start next semester. Thanks
I think starting a T.A. support group would be beneficial to yourself as well as others. I think next semester you should approach the student organizations and start a group. Many great groups start that way. You all could meet at the student union for coffee or a meal once a week. Just to share and vent woud probably be a great outlet. Give this some consideration. The only other suggestion that I have, and strongly believe in is volunteering in your community...many opportunities, check w/ your local United Way, find out what volunteer opportunities there are...maybe even start a volunteer group w/ other T.A.'s. You can do this, it would be fun.
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Vegas Baby
542 posts, read 1,756,587 times
Reputation: 237
Go on meetup.com join groups that interest you and get involved.
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Old 12-10-2012, 06:26 AM
 
1,288 posts, read 2,408,232 times
Reputation: 766
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
There is so much truth to this post.

I haven't made a new friend in 22 years.

Why do you think that is?
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