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I dunno, I wouldn't criticize any parent's choices of what they were giving their kid unless they came flat out and told me (or complained all the time) that they really didn't have any money. I mean, there is often some drama queen woman at work who always whines about how she's got to borrow money from her parents or whatever to pay the bills, and her car isn't working and she can't afford to fix it, and blahblahblah...but then she comes out and says she bought $1,000 worth of game systems and designer clothes for her kid for Christmas? Now THAT sort of thing will get you judged. But it's not just the choices of expenditures that would contribute to that, it's the endless airing of dirty laundry that leads people to form opinions. If someting like your finances is none of people's business, you have to make sure you're not disclosing personal details that are none of their business in the course of normal interactions.
That said, kids are, generally, in America, spoiled friggin' rotten today. Many do have a sense of entitlement. I'm sorry but it's true. And I do think that my generation (I'm in my 30's) is suffering from our upbringing now, as my parents' generation did too...my Mom was severely spoiled and never understood that she might one day need to be wise and take care of herself. She was raised to believe that it was a man's job to take care of her. She struggles to make good decisions today and she is in her 50's. No parent wants to see their kid suffer, even in small ways, but sometimes suffering is the ONLY thing that can build character.
I struggle with this very, very much as a parent. It's one thing to know it and quite another to live it.
I dunno, I wouldn't criticize any parent's choices of what they were giving their kid unless they came flat out and told me (or complained all the time) that they really didn't have any money. I mean, there is often some drama queen woman at work who always whines about how she's got to borrow money from her parents or whatever to pay the bills, and her car isn't working and she can't afford to fix it, and blahblahblah...but then she comes out and says she bought $1,000 worth of game systems and designer clothes for her kid for Christmas? Now THAT sort of thing will get you judged. But it's not just the choices of expenditures that would contribute to that, it's the endless airing of dirty laundry that leads people to form opinions. If someting like your finances is none of people's business, you have to make sure you're not disclosing personal details that are none of their business in the course of normal interactions.
That said, kids are, generally, in America, spoiled friggin' rotten today. Many do have a sense of entitlement. I'm sorry but it's true. And I do think that my generation (I'm in my 30's) is suffering from our upbringing now, as my parents' generation did too...my Mom was severely spoiled and never understood that she might one day need to be wise and take care of herself. She was raised to believe that it was a man's job to take care of her. She struggles to make good decisions today and she is in her 50's. No parent wants to see their kid suffer, even in small ways, but sometimes suffering is the ONLY thing that can build character.
I struggle with this very, very much as a parent. It's one thing to know it and quite another to live it.
I'm also in my 50's and was brought up to be self-reliant and to never have to depend on anyone. I was raised to have a sense of personal responsibility and to accept the consequences of my actions, without expecting someone else to bail me out for my bad choices.
Maybe your mother's parents let her down in that respect, but it certainly wasn't the entire generation.
I'm also in my 50's and was brought up to be self-reliant and to never have to depend on anyone. I was raised to have a sense of personal responsibility and to accept the consequences of my actions, without expecting someone else to bail me out for my bad choices.
Maybe your mother's parents let her down in that respect, but it certainly wasn't the entire generation.
Yes, you are correct. Actually I think I'm seeing more of an increase in more recent generations.
It is also a culture of excuses, in my opinion. Turning perpetrators into victims. There are times when people do things that are WRONG, and I can't look at them and say oh, poor so-and-so, mommy must not have been kind enough, they need therapy and warm soup and happy pills. I'm afraid that I have known a number of families raising kids who are normal, capable kids with plenty of promise, but who are allowed to get off the hook for any bad behaviors by simply claiming "issues." Unfortunately when they grow up there will be consequences and people in positions of power over them won't care if they have "issues." There is a negative side to our desire to be kind and give no offense to others...sometimes truths are hard and tough love is the best kind.
Its like every time I buy something for my son, I get told about all the "more important" things I could've used the money for.
Keep in mind, I don't really consider myself a single mom, because my sons father is fully involved.
But yea, all I hear(from older people around me), "you could've saved that money/put in a college account/put toward school supplies". You're a single mom, you shouldn't spoil him.
Why do you assume I haven't already? How do you know I didn't put money in a college fund? How do you know I didn't get my son the necessary school supplies? I paid my rent, paid my bills, I have money left over. Why can't I buy him a pair of air Jordan's, or a PlayStation?
Are only children in married homes allowed nice things?
When people make statements like that, it really frustrates me. Its rude. Mind your own business, not my wallet.
I have a career
My own place
I pay for EVERYTHING out of pocket and depend on NO ONE
Let us live!
People need to mind their damn business and as long as your kid is healthy and happy why the heck do those people care?
People need to mind their damn business and as long as your kid is healthy and happy why the heck do those people care?
When someone has their hand in taxpayers pockets and then is buying expensive toys for their kids instead of supporting themselves without welfare programs, it is the taxpayers business.
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Why do you assume I haven't already? How do you know I didn't put money in a college fund? How do you know I didn't get my son the necessary school supplies? I paid my rent, paid my bills, I have money left over. Why can't I buy him a pair of air Jordan's, or a PlayStation?
