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Does anyone have any? How do you handle their dim moments?
I'm thinking of a friend of mine. Not extremely rich, but she definitely comes from a privileged background, never lacked anything, never had significant drama/problems...parents are professionals and so are her siblings. She's married to a financially secure man, who was introduced to her via well connected friends.
Throughout the time I've known her, I slowly came to notice things she said/did, her general disposition..that indicate she's a bit clueless, living in a bubble when it comes to life, society, realities outside her type of existence etc. She is not an overtly snobby person, nor rude, arrogant. She's "normal", kind and generous. It's subtle. It appeared to me at times that she was deliberately being ignorant because she thought it looked cute (you know in the way that some people think being unaware of current events makes them seem "posh" or impresses others that they're so fortunate to be shielded from the harsh realities of life..best I can explain it) but I soon realized that she really didn't know much or anything on the issue.
It's not the individual things, but the collective result. She's the sort that buys lots of pretty things to decorate but won't use it practically, like soaps (meant to be used in the bathroom), dishes, vases etc. Which is fine but it irritates me just a bit when she criticizes why other people don't decorate their homes in the same luxurious manner as she does. As if she doesn't understand less money means different priorities. She can't seem to understand/empathize why some women don't "look better" in terms of clothing choice, makeup. She's upset because I refuse to pay a ridiculous amount to eat in a popular restaurant when we hang out..I could afford it but I think it's a damn rip-off and I refused her offer to pay for me.
We were discussing corruption in the government one time and she asked me why people needed govt assistance and why they just couldn't "go out and work"..she sounded really shocked/stunned when I explained why but didn't seem too concerned. She is totally oblivious to the fact that some people depending on their location in the country have infrastructure problems with their schools, housing etc. Now I don't follow every single news item on public grievances, but I think the average person should have a basic idea of the problems your nation faces.
She doesn't seem to get too deep into anything and as a result, I've been avoiding her recently, just not contacting her as often as I used to do. I find she hasn't really "matured" or grown in the way I have over the years and I have to alter myself to sometimes an alarming extent when we spend time together. I've tried broaching subjects with her to flesh her out a bit but it didn't work out too well. I think her husband certainly doesn't contribute to any stimulating events/interaction (don't ask me why I know this) and he may be 1 reason why she remains like this. My sister asked me once what was wrong with her because she acted "really lame".
She's my friend but for the sake of my sanity sometimes I keep away. I feel I should do that for the holidays, so I just plan to call her. Anyone here who has had to deal with something similar? Advice?
Soud slike she is really not a close firend ebcause of your thoughts o her. She might just be different from you and frankly the mnaey angle seems like you have a prejudice towards her or jealousy perhaps.
To be honest, I wouldn't want a friend who felt about me the way you do about her. I have friends of many different kinds. Some are friends I have had for ever, and I treasure our ability to share memories. Some are friends at work, and we share the same interests and goals. Some are friends I discuss books and intellectual matters with, and some just make me laugh. When you find the friend that fits all your facets, that is rare. You need to enjoy her for who she is or quit being her friend.
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