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My brother is one of my best friends.
My parents stressed this hugely when we were growing up.
That was very smart of your parents. When they are gone, your siblings should be there to watch your back and vice versa. Friends come and go, unfortunately spouses come and go as well, but your family should always be there for each other.
If I ever have children, I will have two or three children so that they will have a support system for when my wife and I are gone.
My brother and I are not exactly close and he has a lot of issues that keep people at a distance. No amount of forcing us to be best friends as kids would have changed things that happened as adults. We get along fine for the most part, but everything in small doses. He is easily overwhelmed, and overwhelming.
My own two kids, boy and girl, have a relationship similar to my brother and me at their age. Different sexes, just far enough apart in age to be one step ahead/behind each other and never actually being on the same page. It's changing now though, there has been some talk of maybe being roommates if my son moves to her city after college since they are finally at a more equal place in life. But life throws curves and when it comes time one or both of them may have other things going on. I can't make them be close, but I think they are close enough. And I don't think being siblings = support system later in life either. Often it's just the opposite and they can have a huge negative effect.
If you have a close relationship or a very good relationship with your siblings, the support system comes naturally . They will be there for you automatically and without saying. Both of my parents had close relationships with their siblings and it was a rare thing to see siblings who didn't get along when I was growing up. And because our parents were close with their siblings, we also have very close relationships with our first cousins also.
I have one 2 years younger brother.... growing up, I was "the brain" and he was "the athlete." He was diagnosed with ADHD at around age 10 or 11.... highly unusual in the late 60's - early 70's .... from that point on, our mother made excuses for him and coddled him academically to no end..... while our father pushed him and pushed him in athletic endeavors.... to be fair, he WAS a very talented baseball player and had he pursued it, probably had a decent shot at the majors.....
on top of all this, he was and still is very lazy and manipulative.... one of those people who can sell ice to eskimos.... as a child, he was allowed to slide and our mother continued to make allowances.... we lost our father at ages 20 and 18 and my brother lost the only real motivator and b.s. cutter in his life.....
at age 52 now, he has skated through life working mostly sales jobs and living off of the largesse of his many wealthy friends.... he could absolutely be very successful at sales if he applied himself, but I have no idea what to believe of what he tells me..... I had to take over our mother's finances in the mid-90's because he was bleeding her dry with one "crisis" after another.... frequently involving his then young son, knowing she could never say no to financial assistance "for the grandson." And now, my nephew has grown up to be very like his father in many ways.... my former s-i-l and I try to offer him options and steer him in directions where he could enjoy success on his own, but my brother's influence is just too strong....
my nephew HAS graduated high school, where my brother never did.....
I have had VERY little contact with my brother in recent years.... he was upset with me last year for not calling him on Christmas, but had no reply when I told him that I didn't hear my phone ringing that day either.... I DID call him on his birthday last year and only then found out he was engaged to be married (for the third time) in a couple of weeks time.... this time to a VERY wealthy woman, so I'm assuming he is set now so long as those two can maintain a relationship.... They flew me down for the wedding and it was a very nice few days.... except for seeing how my brother hasn't changed or grown up one IOTA and is now calling his own son out for the exact things he did and continues to do.....
I could write a book on the many awful things he has done and lies he has told and continues to tell.... If i am in the same room, I just don't say anything anymore.... It is useless to call him out.....and I won't go along.....
I will likely continue to call on birthdays and holidays.... but any more effort?? don't think so....
I have one older brother and the only contact we have is via e-mail; we have not spoken on the phone for ten years and have not seen each other since 1991.
I have a younger sister and life is less stressful when she stays her cage.
I have a younger brother who removed me from his life because I no longer allowed him to use me for his personal gains.
I think it really depends on the personality of the children as to whether or not they will stay close as they age.
I never got along with my sister. People used to say, "You fight now, but just wait....when you're all grown up, you'll be the best of friends!"
Never happened. As soon as she moved out we became estranged. I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years. I never liked her growing up, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
It sure would be nice if families could stay close despite the time and distance...sadly, it doesn't always happen.
My brother is 5yr older than me. Hes a boy and hes older so we never had things in common but we do get along. We talk. We dont go out and do stuff together- although it would be nice to do. I use to always want a sister but thats because i wanted someone to play with when my brother wouldnt.
As a mom with 2 daughters and a son. Everyone SWORE my 2 daughters would be best friends..................................still waiting. Sure they are young but they do not like each other except at certain days and even then its for moments.
Sad indeed. Parents should promote close siblings. I have to say I think it starts there and starts early. If there isn't that early bond, it's hard to create it later on. I also think in dysfunctional families, the parents aren't attuned to how "close" and happy the siblings are or should be. Not saying all sibling troubles are parent related, but I think a good amount are. The happy sibling families I knew come from overall happy families.
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