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Old 12-27-2012, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,683,298 times
Reputation: 19539

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemaine View Post
Last night my hubby and I went to a dinner party. Besides us and the host and hostess (who are our friends), there were 2 other couples we had never met before and didn't know anything about. We were all sitting around talking, when the 2 men we had never met before started telling racist jokes. I was so stunned that I didn't know what to do. I ended up pretending to busy myself refilling my drink and helping with dinner. The hostess could tell I was upset. She gave me a look while I was helping her and we were overhearing these racist remarks. I said: "This is not cool". She didn't say anything and left the room. DH and I ended up leaving not long after, but now I feel guilty that I didn't speak up. How should I have handled this situation, considering I didn't know these people at all? Thanks for any input.
I think you did the right thing. By simply getting up and busying yourself, you were not only making yourself useful to your hostess, but you removed another person from their audience.
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,683,298 times
Reputation: 19539
@anifani....spot on! If something like this were to happen in a neutral setting or at my home, I would feel compelled to say something. I don't think I'd ever come right out and start something with other guests in my friends' home. Those other guests would have to be complete morons to have missed the OPs actions. Personally, I can convey disapproval quite well....and yet never say a word. I'm guessing the OP is capable of the same.

@Annie...yep, I agree here as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because someone's be a complete and total arse....it's not necessary to steal the arse spotlight and put it on yourself. Clearly, the party already had a couple of jerks in attendance. Why add another one to the crowd. Hopefully, the host and hostess are not the type of folks who approve of that sort of behavior. If they are, unfortunately, it's the OP who likely will not be invited again.
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Old 12-27-2012, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,001 posts, read 6,248,564 times
Reputation: 6854
OP - never, ever come to Australia.

You will be absolutely horrified.

We are pretty much racist against everyone here, whether they have the same skin colour or not. I am racially abused on pretty much a daily basis because I was born in New Zealand...but it's meant in fun and that's how I take it.

Australians even call themselves "skips".

None of it is meant cruelly, though. Most Australians were born somewhere else, or their parents were. Absolutely everyone gets a nick name and our Italian Immigrants now proudly call themselves "wogs" after years of finding it offensive.
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:20 AM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 3,003,247 times
Reputation: 1443
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemaine View Post
Last night my hubby and I went to a dinner party. Besides us and the host and hostess (who are our friends), there were 2 other couples we had never met before and didn't know anything about. We were all sitting around talking, when the 2 men we had never met before started telling racist jokes. I was so stunned that I didn't know what to do. I ended up pretending to busy myself refilling my drink and helping with dinner. The hostess could tell I was upset. She gave me a look while I was helping her and we were overhearing these racist remarks. I said: "This is not cool". She didn't say anything and left the room. DH and I ended up leaving not long after, but now I feel guilty that I didn't speak up. How should I have handled this situation, considering I didn't know these people at all? Thanks for any input.
I would have said something along the lines of "I don't feel comfortable with or I don't appreciate your racial jokes." Then I would have told the hostess that the racial jokes were insulting and unacceptable. She should have put a stop to it asap.
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