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Old 12-23-2012, 09:06 PM
 
793 posts, read 1,287,875 times
Reputation: 1144

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When do you know it's time to break off a friendship? How do you know?

I have a friend who I find genuinely annoying. All she talks about is herself and her life. Then she asks me personal questions that I don't really want to answer. I avoid answering her.

She is not a bad person, just an annoying person. I also think she is a hypocrite which I find even more annoying than anything.

I've been slowly moving away from her, not returning phone calls, emails, that sort of thing. I thought she had gotten the message but then she called me on Friday. I saw it was her calling so let it go to voicemail. I really don't care to speak to her. Our conversations are always an hour long and they are mostly about her.

Should I call her back or just not call and hope she gets the message? I've never broken up with a friend before, where I actually say something to let them know it's over. I've had people break off friendships with me, and they always just stop calling/emailing. I get the hint.

I sort of feel bad in not calling her back. How hard would it be to just wish her a happy holiday? Yet, I find her so annoying that I am dreading calling her.

What should I do?
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Old 12-23-2012, 09:36 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,543,319 times
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I'm in a similar situation with my childhood best friend (were 38 now). I deleated her number and removed her from fb today. I'm going to write her a email explaining why I did this. The hard part is I'm not mad at all. I'm disappointed and let down and hurt. I don't know if ill ever actually send the email but writing it will help me get it off of my chest. I don't want to upset her over the holidays but then again I need to say why I am stopping all contact
Maybe that would help you?
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:35 PM
 
13,818 posts, read 14,650,897 times
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if you feel the need to wish her a happy holiday do so in an email, but why if you really don't want contact. it is hard ignoring someone when you consider yourself a nice person. if you really want to break off the friendship just stop all communications.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:36 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,287,875 times
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She makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to be the mean girl though and just ignore her. She seems a bit clueless to not realize that I'm not making any effort to speak to her.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Right were I should be!
1,081 posts, read 1,473,352 times
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What will she be more likely to respond to; you backing away slowly or just saying to her... Listen, we used to be friends but you have to know why you don't hear from me. Then just lay it on the line. I would finish by saying something about how you have no bad feelings for her, but you would rather she just not contact you any more. She may be completely clueless about how she is coming across.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:37 AM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,075 posts, read 11,842,396 times
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Since I've been married, I've had to tell a couple of my buddies to not call the house when they're drunk.

Ahhh.....the castle is quiet......
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:44 AM
YAZ
 
Location: Phoenix,AZ
7,075 posts, read 11,842,396 times
Reputation: 6298
Gotta add:

Ya know, we all grow in different ways and directions over the years.

Some folks mature quicker and realize that things aren't the same any more.

A great friend of mine from years ago wanted to come "party" in Phoenix for a week or so, get away from the winter cold, golf, and just hang out by the pool and get loaded.

Sorry pal, ain't gonna happen.

He's more than welcome to come out here to the general area, might hook up for a round of golf or dinner once.......but he can't stay at our home.

Told him that he'd have to get a hotel.

Haven't heard from him since......
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:44 AM
 
13,818 posts, read 14,650,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luckygirl15 View Post
She makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to be the mean girl though and just ignore her. She seems a bit clueless to not realize that I'm not making any effort to speak to her.
telling her is mean as well, pick the lesser of two evils. you don't have to tell someone they suck and you don't want to be around them unless you have to. just slowly fade away. you sound guilty you don't want to be friends. you have a right not to like somebody, plus if she is clueless you don't wanna be her pal all the better, sooner or later she will get the hint or just be uninterested herself
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Old 12-24-2012, 10:08 AM
 
3,752 posts, read 9,603,435 times
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I had a "friend" like that once. We used to get together because we shared the same hobby. But whenever it was just the two of us, she talked nonstop and it was always about her and her life. I could never get a word in. She had told me that a former group she was in told her to "get lost" when she moved and I felt she might have also been overwhelming to them too.

I just stopped communicating with her. I wish her well but she was only interested in a sounding board.
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Old 12-24-2012, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,901 posts, read 2,726,232 times
Reputation: 5084
I suggest just continuing to drop her from your life. If you do encounter her and she asks why, please don't try to justify your behavior by criticizing her or putting her on the defensive. Her ego is taking enough of a hit as it is. Just tell her that you've changed, that you wish you felt the same bond with her you once had, but you don't anymore and you didn't know how to tell her as you didn't want to hurt her feelings. Then tell her you're sorry.

Last edited by cdnirene; 12-24-2012 at 02:27 PM..
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