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I know people who are this way. My father and one of my sisters. There are several possibilities here :
1. ADD/ADHD - People with attention deficit disorder are notoriously bad listeners and bad conversationalists. They can be good stand up comedians though, and I think many stand up comics have this disorder. They are good at delivering monologues, pacing the floor, shouting and jumping from one topic to another.
People with ADHD/ADD can drift off and space out, interrupt while you are speaking, abruptly change the topic because they just though of something that they absolutely need to tell you NOW!
None of this makes for an attentive listener. Their naturally short attention spans make a fluid conversation difficult. Many adults in their 40s and older were never diagnosed with this condition.
I feel like it's so hard to get anywhere with him in the conversation because he's always changing the topic. I don't usually end up getting my point across.
I don't know what to do about it, as I've never dealt with it before. I am not sure if I'll be able to stay in a relationship with him even though I think he's really great and has so much potential.
And that's another issue: he has this great potential but I feel like it's unrecognized to him. He doesn't see his potential. I see it. I feel it.
But he's all over the place, mentally. He jumps from topic to topic and makes very grand statements that often are unsubstantiated. They sound lovely and often etherial... but lack solidity. They're just pretty ideas.
I think there is potential in him/them but only if he chooses to use them constructively. Will he do this? Who knows?
He's all over the place. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get him to listen and understand this. He'll probably change the topic while I'm in the middle of explaining my concern/suggestion.
This even just happened earlier. I was trying to get to this topic in a round about way. I said, "What do you want to leave in this world?" And he's like, "I think the best thing anyone can leave is children. Giving back to the kids, you know, is important." So I'm like, "So, you want to bring kids into the world?" He's like, "No. Maybe just the kids already here." I'm like, "So, you want to have a positive impact on the kids here?" And he's like, "No, not really. I just think the kids are important."
See what I mean by no direction? All these lovely ideas and no real destination with any of it.
Hmmm. Not sure what to do with this beautiful, lost man.
LOL... thanks for sharing. I think I work with people who have ADD or ADHD and I didnt even know it. I used to feel bad because my coworker will ask a question and before I finish answering the question she will leave the office or respond 30 min. Later??? I felt very awkward at times wondering if I should speak or not. Often times they will interrupt me before I get to finish the sentence like they are not interested in what I have to say. However, they talk non stop about themselves and their interests. I feel disconnect to everyone there. I share very little info about myself and voice few thoughts because I feel self consious. I try to minimize any input as much as possible to avoid the awkwardness. I know I made them sound obnoxious, but they are nice people. I always made friends from work in my previous jobs. But I am not able to connect to anyone there. This is a very strange experience for me.
It seems that there is an epidemic of people just waiting to talk or "Blurters" as I call them. They blurt out whatever crosses their mind at the time regardless of whether anyone else is talking or if the conversation has moved on to another subject.
There is a severe lack of patience in our society. I don't know if it comes from they way we were raised, selfishness, maybe all the drugs that are fed to animals that become our food, everyone drowning themselves in energy drinks or what. Definitely a lot of ADHD going on. When I was a kid we called it AIYP (Ants In Your Pants)!
I am guilty of it myself but have gotten way better about it and try to always think about the first sentence in this post. I make an effort to actually listen to what the person is saying rather than trying to interject my response before they finish talking. What I find is that a lot of times what I was going to say become relevant by the time they finish as they have said something that makes the same point.
We have an acquaintance like that. He cannot stay on a topic for more than 15 seconds before he goes flitting off to whatever enters his ADD head. Quite frankly, it's exhausting.
My son is now a teen so guess who gets to help dad? Yep, I throw my poor son to the wolves. Now I hear my son complaining from the other room "DAD..its right there!"
Maybe that's why I change topic a lot. I have a short attention span. But on the other hand, sometimes I talk too much about one topic.
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People who don't listen/have very short attention spans/constantly change topic
