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I would never envy or be jealous of a SAHM. Not my idea of an ideal life where I can explore myself and my talents. I would not be jealous of you at all.
You are too harsh in your judgment. There is a difference between spoiled and privileged. They are not the same thing. The OP is definitely fortunate in a material sense, but there is no indication that she overdoes it, brags about it, denies it, or doesn't appreciate her situation. It doesn't seem like she's arrogant or flaunts her relative wealth in front of other people. Those are some of the characteristics that might indicate she was spoiled. Spoiled means gone bad. Not all people who are well off are spoiled, and there is nothing to indicate that of the OP.
Hmm, I don't really associate being spoiled with 'gone bad' in this manner.
Food spoiled has gone bad, yes.
But spoiled people are not people gone bad. Some people are spoiled, and very humble wonderful people, who realize the situation, and realize they have a much better life than many people around them.
Then, there are spoiled brats that are spoiled, and nasty, and think they are entitled to such privileges.
I make no judgement on the character of the OP, as I mentioned she may be a wonderful person. (I have no idea)
I guess I also consider spoiled and privileged to be synonyms. Privileged is just a much nicer way of saying spoiled.
Edit: after a quick google, it appears the term spoiled is mostly a derogatory word.
Considering IME, and the use of the word spoiled, many people use spoiled in place of privedged. I can't think of one time in high school that someone said "so-and-so is PRIVEDGED." It was always "so-and-so is spoiled." After high school, people don't make that statement very often.
I guess I never thought spoiled equaled bad person, it just meant that so-and-so obviously has more attention or whatever compared to the next person.
IME, I think many people use the word spoiled in place of privedged.
Last edited by AverageGuy2006; 01-18-2013 at 02:16 PM..
I don't think so, but I've had a few comments suggesting that I am. I am a "stay at home mom" currently, my kids are all in school full time, the youngest in first grade. My husband works and I have become used to not having to work outside the home, I work plenty inside the home. I go to school part time and run my kids everywhere. I don't have a glamorous life, actually it is quite boring, my husband works in ND, he is gone 2-3 weeks at a time so I'm a single parent most of the time.
I think it's jealousy when I'm called spoiled, I have a comfotable life and I enjoy it, yes I don't have to go to work but I still have to work.
I think the spoiled comments come from the fact we live in a good size house and I drive a nice vehicle, and my days are laid back, Im not sorry that I finally feel that I can relax. I have 6 kids, 3 under 18, 3 over 18, I spent years working and taking care of kids and taking care of relatives and too bad if I'm taken care of by my husband.
Spoiled is not something that I consider myself, I do not wear fancy clothes or splurge on things, I am very frugal. We do go on a few vacations a year, camp a lot, I take my kids to amusement parks, live theaters, museums etc.. on a regular basis, but that is because I choose to spend my money wisely. I do not smoke and rarely drink,that can take a huge amount of any budget, we don't eat out unless I have coupon. I grocery shop with coupons and get deals on everything,
This is not spoiled, I put a lot of work into getting what we have, if it looks like we are spoiled because we are often doing things, it's because I work hard at it.
Sorry for the rant, but geez, I don't feel spoiled at all.
Just a peek at my day. wake up at 5:00 am workout...6:00 wake up one kid, then hit shower.. 6:30 make breakfast for one kid..7:00 drive first one to school..7:30 wake up two kids.. 8:00 breakfast for next two kids..8:45 drive other two to school..10:00 -2:00 two days a week I have school.. 2:20 pick up first kid..3:30 pick up next two kids.. 4:00 start dinner..5:00 eat and clean kitchen ..5:45 bring kids to activities M,W,Th, Fridays I volunteer 4:30- 10:00 pm at church.
Believe me, I'm busy, the days I'm not at school, I have laundry and house cleaning, coupon clipping, on line class, study time , shopping, other errand running, helping family members. I do foster care every other weekend for a family with 2 kids.
Yes, I am trying to justify my time, but these spoiled comments really irritate me, I don't tell everyone all the details of my life, they don't know about my daily schedule, my school, my foster care and it's none of their business.
asitshouldbe...staying home to raise 6 kids, and doing all the chores that entails (A LOT) is not being "spoiled" at all....I think going out to work, and getting a break from the kids, is being spoilt (and you`re taking care of him just as much as he`s taking care of you)......we each will see it in our own way...anyone who figures you're spoilt has never been a stay at home mom with a bunch of kids..In no way do you have to justify what you have, or do....your staying at home saved probably as much as your husband earned working out....be happy, don't let ignorant people bother you.
Hmm, I don't really associate being spoiled with 'gone bad' in this manner.
Food spoiled has gone bad, yes.
But spoiled people are not people gone bad. Some people are spoiled, and very humble wonderful people, who realize the situation, and realize they have a much better life than many people around them.
Then, there are spoiled brats that are spoiled, and nasty, and think they are entitled to such privileges.
I make no judgement on the character of the OP, as I mentioned she may be a wonderful person. (I have no idea)
I guess I also consider spoiled and privileged to be synonyms. Privileged is just a much nicer way of saying spoiled.
Edit: after a quick google, it appears the term spoiled is mostly a derogatory word.
Considering IME, and the use of the word spoiled, many people use spoiled in place of privedged. I can't think of one time in high school that someone said "so-and-so is PRIVEDGED." It was always "so-and-so is spoiled." After high school, people don't make that statement very often.
I guess I never thought spoiled equaled bad person, it just meant that so-and-so obviously has more attention or whatever compared to the next person.
IME, I think many people use the word spoiled in place of privedged.
They were using the term incorrectly. The terms spoiled and privileged are not synonymous. Spoiled in a pejorative term and if you use it to describe someone, it does, in fact, mean they are "bad." That's why we use the word spoiled. As in bad, like spoiled food. That's where the term comes from.
Charmed hour - grown up kids living at home also cause alot of work, even if they help around the house.
OP, don't let these people bring you down.
I lived at home into my mid-20s and honestly don't think I caused my parents "work". I did my own laundry, kept my areas clean, basically stayed out of the way. I did all my own cooking and cleaning up after. I had a car, a job and went to school full time at night. All without the expectation that my parents do any "work" for me. If the OPs children aren't at least doing the majority of their own care and up keep and causing more work for their mother I think it's time for a discussion About what being a productive adult means.
You are fortunate (and your kids most certainly are), but you are definitely not spoiled. Working mom, SAHM, whatever...anything with "Mom" in the title describes the toughest job on earth. I can't even believe someone had the nerve to say that to you.
Yes, fortunate is a more appropriate term. Most families can't afford six children, much less to live on the income of one parent. You are defitely more FORTUNATE than most people.
You may suffer from some deprivations since your husband works away from home for extended periods. It would be nearly impossible for you to manage the logistics of coordinating so many children while holding down a job. Don't minimize your situation by saying you just ate a chunk of cheese for lunch. That's not the kind of affluence most people are referring to. You could just as well had a sandwich or a bottle of coconut water, for all that matters.
You are probably not spoiled unless you give the impression that you are entitled to be a SAHM with a large house and a nice vehicle, or if you can't do your job without domestic help.
Last edited by ellie; 01-19-2013 at 05:26 AM..
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