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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
No, your actually wrong, was simply using that as an example and my words ran into one another, doesn't matter if your man or woman, however, young men, children, today, are not taught how to be polite...as well as young girls...self absorbtion and a huge huge lack of common sense and respect for others....
as many of those who posted above have said...it's not about male or female, just using examples. I remember as a kid, going grocery shopping, and if there was someone else in front of me, with a lot of items, they'd let me go first, today, how many times has that happened to you? You have one item, the woman in front of you just did her weekly shopping with a full cart, did she tell you to go first. I have done that, actually just 2 weeks ago and the person was astonished and thanked me so much.
If society views all this as a sign of weakness, then there is no hope.
And to those men, who refuse to get a job beneath them, to have a job, and sit around playing video games, I feel very sorry for your kids, and your kids mates.
As a mother, I refused to coddle my son....he learned, he had to ask if he could be excused from the table....he got up, rinsed his dishes in the sink and placed them in the dishwasher, he did his own laundry, cleaning, learned how to cook, to shop for food, to save money and he paid his own bills. Not that we couldn't afford it, but to be self sufficent. He still holds the door for women, if they like it or not...and he knows not to go in the out door. ;0)
Actually that has happened to me on several occasions. The people who were so generous are of all ages and sexes. However, I realize that they did it at their own discretion and I wasn't owed anything by them since they were there first.
Hate to tell you but society does view being kind and timid as a weakness and they WILL take advantage of it in any way they can. That is my experience and I've adapted to it. Now I will hold the door for anyone behind me but a lot of other "kind" things I will not go out of my way to do because I usually end up getting screwed when I do those things. I think the game is messed up but it is the only game in town.
I heard it once said, and it is so true, but such a lost concept in todays world..."What you say, and do, and the decissions you make, effect the lives of so many others" And that is so true, but when two people decide to run around on their mates, they never think about that, do they...funny, how so many human qualities are flying out the door on deaf ears...
this goes even one step further...when did we loose the ability to realize, if someone disagrees with us, that doesn't mean, they are right and we are wrong, it is in fact, simply a matter of opinion, doesn't make them ignorant, an arse, or any other negative definition we could call them, simply b/c that person thinks differently then we do. No, we take it as a huge personal attack against our character and refuse to identify it as anything else, we do not possess the concept or intelligence to problem solve and realize, in this country today, we blame, without facts or the realization, it takes two to tango....sad....
I think these kind of unaware people have always been around. We seem to rememeber 5 and 10 and 20 years ago as being 'such better times'.
But were they really ?
Sure, back in the 80's, before most people had cell phones, we usually answered the phone, EVERY TIME. Or did we? Maybe we had a date over, and so-and-so was calling, but we were certainly not answering while entertaining the date, right ?
Many people DO have the awareness you speak of, and MANY just dont care.
It's a dog eat dog world, and the more people we meet, the more differences we see in others.
Times change, people change. There will always be etiquette, and there will always be selfish people that could care less. AND, there will always be the ignorant people, not necessarily bad people, but people that just don't know.
I think this phenomenon has always existed, and it always will.
The question is: IRL, how will Each of us respond?
10 years ago, I choose friends based off of common interests, regardless of their ethics and morals.
Now, from learning the hard way, I choose friends based off of morals and ethics, and behavior, instead of common interests. This is how I choose to adapt. To each their own.
There are many factors that lead to our evolving American culture, such as....
1. We're a service oriented economy, which means most of us earn a living providing a service to others, have incomes that are tied to the perceived value of the service you provide. If you flip burgers, you get minimum wage. If you are a wall street CEO and make a lot of money for your investors, you get a cut of that cash. So time is money, and money is time. And it takes our energy and time to practice those good values you mentioned (kindness) for others.
2. We live in a bubble that only includes friends and families. We essentially live in gated communities where your neighbors generally have the same values, unlike the residents who live in another part of the city. Coworkers, customers, and business associates are just people in the financial apparatus that support our quality of life, standard of living, its called "work". And they don't call it work for no reason. Dealing with others at work is no easy chore, and play nice at work is road kill for career progression.
3. And my favorite is one a friend shared with me a while ago: CNN, cable TV, the internet, and now social media, are the great equalizers. People are comporting themselves in a manner that is consistent with where they get their news and public interest information. Despite how many dislike Kim Kardasihian, her clan has become tremendously wealthy from having millions of followers and admirers. ....
Somewhere in their the golden rule applies, right?
Disagree with #3.
imo shallow people get their behavioural cues from trash tv.
Why in the US is reality trash such a gauge???. On a European forum I frequent, people dont post admirable things about Kate Middleton and how in awe of 'royalty' they all are.
There is someting very wrong with people who base their life on scripted junk that has nothing to do with real life. I feel sorry for 14 year olds who watch garbage like teen mom or dr drew.
Sumner Redstone, owner of MTV, former OSS military, is who you want deciding who gives your entertainment. Look into it. Its not pretty
Its really a reflection on this countrys lack of culture.
imo shallow people get their behavioural cues from trash tv.
Why in the US is reality trash such a gauge???. On a European forum I frequent, people dont post admirable things about Kate Middleton and how in awe of 'royalty' they all are.
There is someting very wrong with people who base their life on scripted junk that has nothing to do with real life. I feel sorry for 14 year olds who watch garbage like teen mom or dr drew.
Sumner Redstone, owner of MTV, former OSS military, is who you want deciding who gives your entertainment. Look into it. Its not pretty
Its really a reflection on this countrys lack of culture.
I agree, and what is really frightening is, that kind of mindset, calls this crap entertainment, speaking volumns about intellect doesn't it.
I feel saddened when I see the same things. Of course, there's never been a time when people weren't somewhat selfish, but it seems that technology, which could be a great boon in helping people understand other perspectives, frequently has the opposite effect, making people's opinions and attitudes more insular and combative.
Also, in the past, under the social contract, people were generally obligated to behave civilly towards others, if for no other reason than that they would have to interact with those people again. Nowadays, many people create artificial social circles, and ignore or even condemn those who fall outside their narrow range of concerns. Civil society thrives on shared values, even if those values are based on something as broad as the Golden Rule. But if a person's stance of virtual anonymity and pure self-indulgence bleeds into the real world (and you aren't raised knowing any better!) the results can make for the careless behavior we witness every day.
And of course, popularity, even in the form of negative notoriety, has always been desirable (for young people especially) and the digital age has just amplified that effect. Being a well-mannered person won't get you "hits" on the internet or your own TV series; being a boor or smashing yourself in the groin with a mallet just might!
But let's not lose hope. I still meet kind folks every day.
A co-workers friend's father passed away, and his funeral was yesterday. My co-worker was telling me about how beautiful the funeral was. They spoke of this man and how, when ever a woman or an elderly person would enter a room where he was, he would always stand and help her with their chair. He would extend a helping hand to anyone even strangers...he was the poster child for politeness...and I thought, his parents must have been unique and very special.
We are loosing the abilities today that I entitled my thread with. Human beings are not only forgetting to be humble, kind, polite, but also, so out of touch with awareness, therefore, it is not getting passed down to the children.
Being parents is a huge huge undertaking, and I think back now, when I had my son, did I ever realize, I was raising this lil boy, to be the next generation and leader of this country. No, I did not...so that everything he learned he to, would pass down to his children. It is a trickle down effect.
today, everyone is so tied to their electronic devices, they are forgetting to be polite, b/c now adays, it's ok to talk on the phone while in someone else's space. It's ok, to go in the out door, no matter how much you inconvenience the person who is waiting to go out. It's ok to allow your kids to know way to much, way to soon, to be impatient, impolite in restaurants, doctors offices, etc. If Parents of today, are not aware, then so will their kids be to. Sad, isn't it....how the trickle down effect, can effect generations to come.
I am walking down a hall at work, a very large hall, and yet, a young person is walking towards me on the same side????? That person is checking his i-phone...and has no concept of me being present...so, I must move to keep us from colliding... So glad we were not in cars...
At work, when we walk up and down steps, or down a narrow hallway, instead of walking single file, we walk side by side, b/c it is so important to carry on our conversation, and we don't even notice the person, we made turn sideways & press hard against the wall, to let us pass.
Awareness, do people even know what that word means any more? Do men know how to treat a woman any more, like opening the car door for her, and extending his hand so to help her out of the car? Probably not.
When walking into a convenience store, do you walk out the out door, or walk out both doors, making the person who is entering the store, step aside....? I cannot remember how long it's been since I've had a young man hold the door for me. How many of your young boys are taught that if they see an older person walking down the street with groceries, to help them?
How many people walk their dogs and allow them to deficate all over their neighbors yard or public place, without cleaning it up?
I remember when we were kids, the neighbor worked night shift and slept during the day, so we were told to keep it down...period, and if not, we had to come inside to play...I wonder how many parents today train their kids like that?
When we were in a doctors office, we were trained to whisper very softly while our parents would turn their ears to us, so as not to disturb any one else in the office.
Over Christmas vacation, I took my grand daughter to see a movie, and grown adults were sitting behind us, and talked, talked, talked so loud, that I turned around and asked them if they intended on talking like that throughout the entire movie, b/c if so, we would move?????????
Now lets take this one step further and think about the trickle effect of school, teachings and is it any wonder, our world is a whole different one today and so many mistakes are made...human errors, that effect the lives of others.
I heard it once said, and it is so true, but such a lost concept in todays world..."What you say, and do, and the decissions you make, effect the lives of so many others" And that is so true, but when two people decide to run around on their mates, they never think about that, do they...funny, how so many human qualities are flying out the door on deaf ears...
this goes even one step further...when did we loose the ability to realize, if someone disagrees with us, that doesn't mean, they are right and we are wrong, it is in fact, simply a matter of opinion, doesn't make them ignorant, an arse, or any other negative definition we could call them, simply b/c that person thinks differently then we do. No, we take it as a huge personal attack against our character and refuse to identify it as anything else, we do not possess the concept or intelligence to problem solve and realize, in this country today, we blame, without facts or the realization, it takes two to tango....sad....
This is a lovely post. I am in my early 20's and I can't stand most people. It's not JUST young people, their parents and their grandparents who didn't teach them are responsible as well.
kids these days, text messaging, facebook, get off my lawn, etc.
There is a lot of good in the world. It's easy to only see that bad, I know, but I think lots of times the good is just straight up ignored. I am very hesitant to glorify "the good old days" that never were.
I live in a small town in the South, and people still have manners, crime is almost non-existent, and people respect each other. Our values, the ones many make fun of, still rule our behavior for the most part.
kids these days, text messaging, facebook, get off my lawn, etc.
There is a lot of good in the world. It's easy to only see that bad, I know, but I think lots of times the good is just straight up ignored. I am very hesitant to glorify "the good old days" that never were.
thanks for your post, but 60 years ago, it was indeed different....much different....I'm not saying everything was perfect and there wasn't crime, but when people needed help, help was there from neighbors, you knew your neighbors, people were kinder, more polite, and we kids, were very lucky to have what we had...caring neighbors, we were polite, helped an older person out, we were not entertained by computers, TV, texting, and phones....our lives were much different.
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So glad we were not in cars...
