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She sounds toxic and has insecurity issues. I think moving away would be good for you. I have a strained relationship with my sister. I find it works best when I keep her at arms length.
Look up high functioning (invisible) Borderline personality disorder .... and one of its favorite partners, Narcissistic personality disorder/symptoms.
Might give you some more insight into your relationship with your sister.
The South comprises a very large area with a variety of industries, accents and political leanings. When you paint with a broad brush it makes it much harder for you to look close enough to ascertain the variety around you.
Even if you return to your original location the job opportunities may have changed greatly.
Each place has its pluses and negatives. You have a choice in how you respond to each and every situation. Yeah, sometimes things aren't fair, people don't give you what you want and the world doesn't appreciate you. You have spent most of your life letting your sisters actions allow you to feel miserable. You have granted her way too much power.
You need to find a therapists who can help you readjust your perceptions. You should move elsewhere. Do a little research and find a spot that appeals to you - knowing no place is perfect and it will take time to feel at home there.
You can not change your sister. You can not change those around you. You can change how you respond. You have a choice - keep feeling like this or do the personal work to make positive changes in your life and create your own happiness.
Honestly....I am going to suggest counseling. You need some talk therapy to get over and put your childhood sibling rivalry into perspective.
I had a sister, 4 years younger than me. I sometimes had to walk on eggshells, because to confront her about anything, ever would mean she wouldn't speak to me for months. I moved away from my hometown in my late 20's. My sister and I became closer after my mom died when we were in our 40's. We talked on the phone nearly weekly. It takes sometimes a tragedy to break walls down.
We discussed how crappy and distant our relationship had been for so long, and we resolved never to let it get there again.
When I would go to my home state to visit my daughter, I would also see my sister, even if she only had a day to come visit, she went out of her way to do so.
We got pretty close over the years..taking often...laughed a lot, shared complaints, life etc...every Sat we were on the phone sometimes for 2 hours.
Then last July 12, just a couple of days after she and I had our weekly marathon telephone call her step daughter called me to say my sister was killed in a car crash earlier that morning.
I thought she was joking...It was really a shock, and thanks to my wonderful boss who paid for my trip I was on a plane w/in 3 hours.
The next 10 days are a blur....But, I know the one thing...beyond all the pain and the grieving...I miss my sister's voice so much...I miss our banter, and our long heart to heart..."life's disappointing" talks.
I know I had to overlook plenty to keep our relationship great and close...and she may have felt that she did too.
But...I promise you, it is worth it!...get some professional help to work our your resentment...let that go and build from now before you regret wasting time over things that no longer matter.
Love her now...Never regret missing time w/ your only sister. Best to you, jan
Last edited by JanND; 01-19-2013 at 03:46 PM..
Reason: spacing/spelling
My sister can't accept that I am not religious like she is. I don't like church and nor do I want to live that lifestyle. I don't read a bible nor do I want too.
All those things that I hear other good sister relationships share, I don't have with my sister. She has been mean and cruel and wanted me to feel bad about myself and my life. Constant criticism and no one to stand up for me.
Unfortunately, sibling relationships like yours are a lot more common than you think. My mother and her sister have a very similar relationship.
Besides, I am leaving on a different continent for 7 years now, so I do not even see them. I confronted them both after my sister's divorce with his brother which is before she was pregnant.
Yeah. You were stupid and gullible for letting a pedophile grope you and imagine you were in love with him. It sounds like you want whatever she has out of jealousy and sibling rivalry. Find some therapy and get on with your life.
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I don't get along with my only sister
