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Old 01-30-2013, 03:55 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,331,277 times
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I have an acquaintance whom I met through an online meet-up group. It started out when I offered to let her ride with me across town where the group was headed. Her conversations are intense/negative/pessimistic - how this guy broke up with her, how her mom was murdered, her therapy, her boring job, how she always feels abandoned by everyone, ect.

At first, I thought she was/could be a sweet person who just needed a friend as she's new to town. When we'd meet to go out and I didn't answer her texts right away, she freaks out. She will text/call 10 + times asking why I'm not answering my phone? Did I blow her off? Am I inside? Why aren't you answering me? What's wrong? She's asked me to meet her outside of places and physically walk in with her. I even explained to her that if I don't answer my phone, I am not ditching her, I am already inside and to come look for me! Nope, this didn't correct the situation and this is getting exhausting.

I have tried to encourage her to exercise and create a better life for herself, pick up a new hobby, attend a workshop, ect...to stop the negative talking! I've tactfully told her that I am sick of hearing about it! I stopped answering her phone calls and then she texts me (seeking pity) to "mark my calendar for her mom's death memorial" asking me to be with her. (Although her father lives in this city too.) The more I ignore her, the more she contacts me. I've started telling her I'm busy all the time, but she's still not getting the hint.

I do not want to hurt her, but her life issues are way too much. I'm not a psychotherapist and feel she needs one. I am trying to be careful to be gentle, but I'm not sure what to do at this point. What would you do?
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:03 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,082 posts, read 12,851,076 times
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Tell her exactly that:

"I do not want to hurt her, but her life issues are way too much. I'm not a psychotherapist and feel she needs one."
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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Do you want to continue to be friends?
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:06 PM
 
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She sounds insane. You should feel no qualms about dropping her like a rock. But she will probably start stalking you anyway!
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:07 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,082 posts, read 12,851,076 times
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Be friends with a wreck? This friendship would always be one sided and would be very draining in my opinion. She is who she is and even with a therapist or other friends, she would be too much to handle.
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:09 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,331,277 times
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Quote:
"I do not want to hurt her, but her life issues are way too much. I'm not a psychotherapist and feel she needs one."
It may come to this soon. Thank you for your opinion.

Quote:
Do you want to continue to be friends?
That's the thing, sometimes she can be a decent person, then switch over to be suffocating, needy and clingy. Many nights I've felt irritated after hanging out. Not sure what to do but create distance.
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,366 posts, read 41,900,880 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Be friends with a wreck? This friendship would always be one sided and would be very draining in my opinion. She is who she is and even with a therapist or other friends, she would be too much to handle.
That's why I asked. Since this was in the Relationships forum, as first I assumed OP is male.

This person will not take a hint nor respond to tact.

It probably will be an "all or nothing" scenario.
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:12 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,331,277 times
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I am a female. I thought this forum was for any type of relationship/friendships. Is there another forum this should have been posted in? My apologies....
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,366 posts, read 41,900,880 times
Reputation: 83316
No need to apologize.



There is a Non-Romantic Relationships forum, but don't start a new thread.

The mods will probably move it there.
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:38 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,331,277 times
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Got it! Thank you for your comments.
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