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Old 02-02-2013, 02:37 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,746 posts, read 9,050,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow
On the job is best for your age group. If you're not working, consider doing so for the socialization. You can perhaps choose work with a specific concentration of the type of social contacts you seek.


OK, I'll explain. If the OP wants to gain friendships through the workplace with, say, people who liked to go bar-hopping, then being a secretary at the local Mormon temple probably wouldn't yield drinking pals.
OK, I get it.
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Old 02-02-2013, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,488 posts, read 8,168,558 times
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nightlysparrow, I knew what you meant before the explanation & I understand, but I don't know how many people will initially choose a job/career mainly for the purpose of who they can be friends with. When you look at it that way, the whole friend-finding issue at the workplace is superficial. I mean no one's going to say, "I'm going to go to college to get my degree to be an architect because I want to become friends with other boring people who like math who may be a little nerdy like me." (No offense to architects. I know they're not all boring of course!)

But I do understand where you're coming from. Like people who want to meet a lot of people & like liveliness & energy could become a bartender, but as far as it being a stable, livelong career...I say thumbs down there.
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,275 posts, read 4,774,775 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
I've recently relocated back to my hometown. All of my female friends have gotten married and popped out babies. So, I'm pretty much starting from scratch in the friendship department. I've been attending meet-up groups, but haven't found anyone with similar lifestyle choices as myself. Such as, I'm a health nut, enjoy exercise, cooking and want non-smoking, non-partying-no-alcoholics, acquaintances. Any suggestions where I can meet other health conscious and mentally sane people? Thank you.
Maybe you should look for a diet-specific meetup group? I know in Chicago there is a meetup for those of us following the Primal Blueprint (sort of a paleo lifestyle based on what Mark Sisson writes at MarksDailyApple.com). That meetup is all about healthy food and exercise. Of course, you'd want to find a group who has a philosophy you agree with (vegetarian, vegan, South Beach, whatever floats your boat).

I know how you feel though, it is hard to find friends after college. I'm 31 and I hang out mostly with people I met then, but I am starting to outgrow them and I'm not sure what to do. For example, my husband and I just sold our house and moved into a temporary place this weekend and are basically laying low. Our friends are at taste of Soulard in St. Louis where every year at least on person gets so drunk they throw up all over the place because, inevitably, someone is using the one available bathroom (about 15 people will stay in one apartment for the weekend). The whole thing just has no appeal to me and certainly isn't worth driving 6 hours to get to. Most of my friends are single and still very into drinking. Then, most of my husbands friends have kids. We have friends at both "extremes" but we're in the middle. Blah.
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Old 02-03-2013, 06:53 PM
 
Location: On the edge of the universe
994 posts, read 1,354,288 times
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I know that sometimes meeting new friends in your 30s can be tough but I think it depends on the local culture and each individual. A lot of parts of America act like 30s are middle aged; to be honest I'd say that's still technically young adult territory (mid 40s is my cutoff for young adulthood/middle age). It seems like too many people wind down way too much in their 30s. But maybe I'm just too wierd. American society can be very reserved, to be honest.
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Old 02-03-2013, 08:14 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,332,055 times
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Thank you for all your comments. I still like to have fun, but I hate drunks. The people I've met at Meet-up groups have all been smokers, or ill-mannered, asking to borrow money! I just posted Stage 5 Clinger, in non-relationships over the emo vampire I seem to have attracted in my life. I'm just looking for fun, SANE people. Just had a stream of mishaps lately, and looking to do things differently.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:36 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,639,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
Thank you for all your comments. I still like to have fun, but I hate drunks. The people I've met at Meet-up groups have all been smokers, or ill-mannered, asking to borrow money! I just posted Stage 5 Clinger, in non-relationships over the emo vampire I seem to have attracted in my life. I'm just looking for fun, SANE people. Just had a stream of mishaps lately, and looking to do things differently.
The thing with meetup is this, patience, understanding that atimes it is hit and miss and always being true to yourself.
The people that would gravitate to you in a meetup setting will do so without you having to do a thing.
Don't try to change yourself too much to conform and don't feel bad if the connections that you want are not happening as fast.
I have had all sorts of experiences at meetup, some good and some bad. The tips I mentioned helped. I also found that there were regional differences in terms of finding people that were similar to me. That might be something to consider too
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