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Old 02-07-2013, 01:01 AM
Location: New Haven, CT
1,033 posts, read 3,395,181 times
Reputation: 901


You can always make a new profile and only friend the people you want, use some made up name or use your first and middle name and keep your profile picture something random.

I think you can also prevent your email from coming up in a search, im not sure though because FB updates and changes things like every hour.

But still this seems a lot easier.

Old 02-07-2013, 02:13 AM
Location: Australia
432 posts, read 1,046,186 times
Reputation: 685
Facebook has a "Help" function on top right hand side. Read it and decide how much you want MIL to view and follow the instructions. You don't want to block her as a friend, it would be a scandel.

I changed those settings to limit what was viewed by co workers and one day someone came up to me and asked if I was on FB and I said not much. Everyone once in a while I would put up a news link viewed public so they wouldn't get offended. Just make sure if you limit what she can view make sure you do the same to her sister cause she'll have her sister check out your page too. Nosy...
Old 02-07-2013, 12:49 PM
3,239 posts, read 4,444,192 times
Reputation: 4880
Originally Posted by GrainOfSalt View Post
Back to FB- my husband doesn't do FB so I can see that she likes to check my profile to kind of see what's going on with us/him. But I'm tired of it-- I feel like I can't post freely to my friends and family without her making some snide remark to my husband -- like who may be coming to visit, what we just purchased, etc... I'm just SICK of her being in my business!

... for example she recently mentioned to my husband "oh I see Grain liked <certain tattoo page> on FB is she thinking of getting one?" "No Mom her friend does tattoo art"

Note- she doesn't ask me, or comment to me on FB, but somehow she knows every last thing I put on there, like I said it's getting on my damn nerves!
I have a different take on this problem.

Well could you possibly consider that it was very hard on her that you moved? And one way to keep in touch is looking at facebook? From your examples I have to say she doesn't sound exactly evil:
Asking about a tattoo
Who is visiting
What you bought
I don't understand why this would bother you, this is just something for her talk about. Lighten up and let her in on a few things? If these things bother you no wonder she doesn't outright comment on your page, who knows how much that would bother you.

I also don't understand why people think others, whom they have friended, are stalking them when they look at your facebook and comment on it. That's what it's there for. These things are not secret. This is open to the world not just your Mother in law. Facebook is not your private means of communication, there is email or phone calls for that. Even private messaging on facebook is wonderful for private communications, I use it all the time.

Maybe you could task your husband with keeping in touch with her more and set up his own facebook page so she can see pictures, or have him do facetime/skype once a week on a set night so she could look forward to it. Moving away doesn't mean you are not related anymore, she is family for life. Mother in law issues are here for life, you have to figure out how to handle this without creating more drama and stress.

If/when you become a Mother in law you will look back at this in a very different light.
Old 02-07-2013, 12:53 PM
657 posts, read 590,113 times
Reputation: 437
over 2 million people got it right last month - deactivate the account. it's the devil play ground
Old 02-07-2013, 01:32 PM
Location: San Francisco
16,371 posts, read 5,310,464 times
Reputation: 51080
Here's what I think you should do. Don't unfriend her because it would cause a family scandal. Instead, you can change your Facebook settings so that none of her posts appear on your feed. She can talk all she wants, but you won't see it.

To do this, click on her name. This takes you to her home page. Just below her profile picture, click on the box that says "Friends." From the pop-up list, go to "Show in News Feed" and unclick it. Now she can talk about you all she wants, but her posts will no longer appear on your feed. Problem solved.
Old 02-07-2013, 06:52 PM
3,239 posts, read 4,444,192 times
Reputation: 4880
Bayarea4, Her mother in law doesn't post on her, OP's, facebook. She speaks to her son about what she reads on her, OP's facebook.

That is the easiest way to deal with posters who are annoying but her mother in law is not posting.
Old 02-07-2013, 08:38 PM
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,480 posts, read 14,891,341 times
Reputation: 19530
Originally Posted by Kayekaye View Post
Bayarea4, Her mother in law doesn't post on her, OP's, facebook. She speaks to her son about what she reads on her, OP's facebook.

That is the easiest way to deal with posters who are annoying but her mother in law is not posting.

OP needs to customize her status bar to exclude MIL and anyone else she doesn't want to read her stuff.
I tell you that is the BEST feature FB offers.
Old 02-08-2013, 09:56 AM
4,267 posts, read 5,291,441 times
Reputation: 3579
The mil is also reading the "stalker panel" or ticker which shows when the OP comments on other friends posts and "likes" status updates, photos and comments and then the op's mil is commenting on what the op has liked or commented on to her son. I don't think the ticker can be hidden from people.
Old 02-08-2013, 10:21 AM
Location: in your dreams
10,892 posts, read 13,488,495 times
Reputation: 15338

Everything You Need to Know About the Facebook Ticker with Grandma Mary - YouTube
Old 02-08-2013, 04:26 PM
Location: Colorado
11,583 posts, read 7,173,128 times
Reputation: 20879
I know a young woman with a vaguely similar circumstance, at least insofar as she had certain family she didn't want reading posts that she wanted to share with her friends. Frankly, she was into some pretty wild stuff and didn't want Grandma seeing it. What she and her husband both did, was set up new accounts in addition to the old ones, the old had family and all...the new were under fake names (pertaining to some inside joke among their friends) and cartoon characters for profile pics. They put real pics in private albums visible to friends only. They then sought out the select friends they wanted in on the "uncensored and family friendly" accounts and brought them on board.

To be fair, they both spend a lot more time on their wacky adult friends only sites, but they do post baby pictures and other generic things of interest to family on the other profiles from time to time.

I'm not saying that this is the easiest solution, but it's a possible solution.

Good luck!
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