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Good for you!!! Now don't worry about what others think and if they either care enough or are nosey enough to ask--just say, "I worked my ass off so I could retire early enough to enjoy life."
Maybe they're not jealous or nosy. Its unusual today, in the economy. A lot of folks are still in credit card debt or financing college at your age and so many tie their identity to their occupation, not knowing what to do with the free time.
In fact people are still working after social security and I'd bet it's not simply economics, they just don't know what to do with themselves, work is the norm.
My dad retired at 51, there was a lifestyle change and moved to better economy, living what he considered 'the simple life' growing enough produce to feed the county.
It's a personal choice. I think more people could take early retirement if it wasn't for their lifestyles, something prepared for and thought through early.
I'm not saying she owes them anything. But these must be situations where she is meeting people and trying to get to know them. In a social situation like that people trade some basic information about themselves. Either that, or you don't make any friends. It's her choice, but if she wants to be friendly, get to know new people, and be able to continue a conversation beyond that point, she'll need to do the information trade more smoothly than an answer that leaves the other person shocked and confused. "I'm retired," in her case is only slightly better than "none of your business."
Certainly, I agree. But as for as people asking her why she is retired, or trying to insinuate that she's too young to retire or anything along the lines of their seething jealousy, I don't think she really needs to evaluate no more than "I worked there for many years and I had the opportunity to retire so I did." Sometimes people try to get as much as they can from you/individual just so they can have something to gossip about since their lives suck.
I don't want to give my life story to my dentist or people at social gatherings, so what can I say that's simple, without drawing a bunch or comments or questions?
Tell them you were fired. That should shut them up.
Seriously, if you are voluntarily giving out information that you've retired, be ready for questions. Many would just be interested in how you did it. Others are just plain nosey ... or jealous.
Enjoy your retirement and the heck with what others think. You expressed your understanding about the current economy which means you are not out of touch with the way things are right now. Just because there are still some sectors that are struggling, not all are in bad shape. After crunching the numbers and considering what you were giving up, if it made sense for you (and it sounds like it did), then why not? Let a younger worker take your place. You were doing a service for the unemployed. You gave someone else a job. Right?
I was kidding with you when I wrote that you should tell them you were fired but it's not really that bad of an idea. Think of all the sympathy you'll garner from people.
Interesting topic. I agree with others that while you don't really owe anyone an explanation or apology, just saying, "I'm retired," maybe isn't the best answer. I like the suggestion of saying something like, "I worked at the same company for 25 years, and had the option of retiring, so I did...now I devote my time to XYZ hobby/charity/whatever." Probably removes the sting for others who might be in a less desirable situation.
I retired at 47. Three years later, my husband retired at 54. My reply to the question, "What do you do with your time?" was "Travel." while my husband simply said, "Nothing." Then, to answer the next query of "Aren't you bored doing nothing?" he usually said, "No, I'm good at it and I enjoy it."
Made me laugh!!!!
Quote:
In reality, aside from the extensive travelling, we've done a whole lot more than nothing, but I've never felt the need to spend a gross amount of time explaining to strangers what I did with my time. My early retirement shouldn't be the cause for other people's envy. After all, I didn't envy their iPads, Smart Phones, or tablets, and I didn't ask how they could afford the newest toys when all I had was a 12-year old basic cell phone and a clunky laptop that weighted a ton.
IMO, being sensitive to other people's feelings should be a mutual practice, and one should never feel guilty or uncomfortable in choosing a path that isn't followed by many others.
Excellent post! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Life is a tradeoff, isn't it? I hope you're still enjoying your clunky laptop!
So surprised at how many folks have posted thinking people are envious.
Do people really think that way?
I think folks simply are caught unaware and don't know how to respond. Most people are just trying to be polite and find something to talk about when they meet a person.
I honestly don't think the majority of people are bitter and angry and are even paying that much attention to what anyone else is doing. It has been my experience that people are much more concerned with themselves than those around them, lol.
I have friends and business acquaintances who retired before 30 or in their early 30s back in the dot com days. They made it big. They have started several businesses since then, out of boredom (or so they say!) One has consistently bought properties, rehabbed them and rents them out (commercial props) as an ongoing source of income. He is teaching his son the business (property management) and his son has bought his first property, a townhouse in a resort town, while in college. His son will inherit a LOT of money and never "have" to work . . .
I know (not really close to) a couple who won the lottery in their 20s.
I have many friends who are trustafarians and have never really worked for anyone (volunteer work, enjoy travel and working around their homes, some have foundations, etc).
Who the heck cares? I find it interesting and so people have told me their stories . . . you would be surprised how many people have inherited wealth and just don't talk about it.
I know one woman who is worth many millions, bought herself a yoga studio, has a foundation . . . and I seriously doubt most people have a clue how wealthy she is . . . they think of her as a yoga instructor (and a delightful person to be around!)
When people meet us, they are trying to find commonalities, so they ask questions -- and the "tried and true" questions are simple . . . are you married? do you have children? where are you from originally? What kind of work/career? They are just trying to have a conversation! Some are better at it than others.
I seriously doubt people are envious or bitter when they show surprise that someone has retired at an early age. They are more likely simply taken back b/c that doesn't follow the normal "script" of things and so they are not sure how to respond.
If they aren't "nice people," who the hell cares what they think. And if they are good folks and just stumbling around, why assign nefarious meaning to their questions or awkwardness?
Most people do not think twice about what others around them are doing -- we are all too busy trying to deal with our own lives.
Thanks everyone for the comments and suggestions. It's good to hear how other young retirees have dealt with it. I guess I will just come up with a longer "stock" answer for those questions where I sort of fill in the blanks a little for the person and give them something else to focus on rather than their own retirement potential or my age. Sort of give them somewhere to go conversationally such as..."I recently retired from XXX where I worked for 25 years, and now I'm getting my house ready to sell" or some such thing. I do find questions about what I do all day to be intrusive and sort of judgmental. I realize it's just curiosity, but it sounds like they think I SHOULD be doing something that THEY consider productive. For me, I am glad to finally be able to do all the little things I wished I had the time to do all those years, but work got in the way, things like gardening (we have 4 acres), painting my house, hiking, golfing, taking classes, sleeping in, actually reading more of the paper than the front page, etc. Since my 86 year old mom-in-law just moved in with us, that too takes up quite a bit of my time too. I am never "bored" because there is always work to do around this place, so if I'm not working in the house or yard, I'm busy finding some way to avoid it! ;^) Thanks for your help everybody!
Like many others have said (some less directly) - while you can't seem to see it, if you don't like how others react to your retirement, that's entirely on you. The fact that you're hoping for some clever answer to avoid what you read into the reactions from others, makes that pretty clear. Read your posts again, you seem to read the worst of intent into their reaction, instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I was disciplined and lucky enough to retire at 57, and none of my peers have or could. Some people are happy for me, some are not. But I really couldn't care less how they react, I didn't retire for them, I did it for me. I don't feel a need to defend my choices. They own their reaction...I/you own my/your reaction.
Early retirees are uncommon and getting more uncommon all the time. For many people, they're just surprised, caught off guard, and don't know what to say. If they're jealous, that's not your problem, but clearly you're internalizing their reaction - that's not their fault. If they say something silly it may just be they don't know what else to say, don't read into it. Even asking what you do all day may just be they don't know what else to say in their moment of surprise. I just give some fluff answer and let them off the hook, more often than not they're just curious, they don't really care, they're just trying to make conversation with what you've given them.
Your reaction parallels 'no one can make you unhappy.' The most they can do is try to provoke you (and many will), only you can let them make you unhappy. Most Americans/westerners look for happiness from money, status, and the reaction of others - and never find it. Happiness ultimately comes from within, in spite of what the externals present. If you can't see that, don't feel bad, it took me about 50 years to catch on. Life is good...
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Though not as young as the OP, I retired early and also look quite a bit younger than my years, so am familiar with some of the looks, which are more likely just surprise, as opposed to envy or whatever. But I usually turn the subject around by asking what sort of plans they have for whenever they decide to retire, which usually puts it in a more positive direction.
I agree with that maybe you can mention your hobbies. Yeah some may be jealous or they may just be really shocked. I think for a lot of people their identity is their job. Regardless you shouldn'tfeel like youave to explain yourself. It's your money, your life. You're not asking anyone to pay your bills or support you.
Forgive me if this is too personal but what do you do about health insurance? I would love to retire in my 50's but every time I mention this people ask about health insurance (which is a valid question). If it's too private, I apologize.
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