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Old 02-06-2013, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
1,545 posts, read 2,284,898 times
Reputation: 1338

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A few weeks ago a suicide prevention sign went up in our neighborhood and it was a point of discussion among our family. I made some comment about how with high unemployment and dwindling natural resources, people should be encouraged to kill themselves. A few days later my cousin killed himself. His funeral is in a few days and I feel very conspicuous if not necessarily guilty.

Should I go?
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:15 PM
bg7
 
7,697 posts, read 8,161,709 times
Reputation: 15093
I don't know if you should go.
But its advisable to put your brain in gear before engaging the speaking machinery in the future.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:16 PM
 
28,905 posts, read 46,712,118 times
Reputation: 46025
Don't let a stupid joke keep you from doing what's right.

And I agree with bg7. Install a filter somewhere between your brain and mouth. But I'm guessing you've learned that lesson now.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,165 posts, read 8,687,150 times
Reputation: 6166
Smile Go to the funeral

It's your cousin. You need to go. You remember what you said but others may not know or remember.

My mom passed away 3 years ago and at the funeral, I realized how it's really for the family and friends and how just having people around helped.

Step 3 - Forgive yourself. Learn from it.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:41 PM
 
Location: South Jersey
819 posts, read 2,836,971 times
Reputation: 1444
wow. Just wow. Sorry, but has a person who has had a few people in my life kill themselves, your joke was in horrible taste. There is never a reason that suicide is a joke.
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:42 PM
 
10,495 posts, read 8,419,943 times
Reputation: 19213
Of course you should go - and please, learn from this and never, ever make such a crass and insensitive comment again. It's not a joke, it's not funny, it's incredibly cruel...as perhaps you are now realizing.

I am so sorry for your family's loss. Please be especially kind to your cousin's immediate family in the days and months and years to come...
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Australia
432 posts, read 1,052,056 times
Reputation: 685
Go to the funeral as that is time to be with family and reflect on your cousins life.

The words you said were in very poor taste and since you brought it up on this forum you have already determined that and hopefully won't say something like that again.

But keep in mind that the words you said weren't the trigger for your cousin, he had already had these thoughts and took that action which is sad but not your fault.
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,016 posts, read 17,327,635 times
Reputation: 41286
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
A few weeks ago a suicide prevention sign went up in our neighborhood and it was a point of discussion among our family. I made some comment about how with high unemployment and dwindling natural resources, people should be encouraged to kill themselves. A few days later my cousin killed himself. His funeral is in a few days and I feel very conspicuous if not necessarily guilty.

Should I go?
Your post was unclear whether or not you joked about encouraging suicide in front of your late cousin or among other family members. Either way, I hope that you realize how truly inappropriate it was.

It is never right to joke about suicide. After my daughter's best friend killed himself it greatly affected her, and others, for years. Several close friends of his became seriously depressed and one even needed to be hospitalized. It will continue to be painful for his friends and family forever. Encouraging someone to murder (kill) themselves is not something to laugh and joke about.

I sincerely hope that you never joke about something so serious again.
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:14 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,141,087 times
Reputation: 22373
Well, I don't think you need berating - obviously, you are kicking yourself for your attempt at humor.

You had nothing to do with your cousin's suicide.

Your family may remember you said this (has anyone mentioned it???) but I would be surprised if anyone mentioned it or in any way connected that statement to your cousin's death.

If anyone mentions it to you, you should explain that it is a horrible feeling being out of work and not seeing a future and you were trying to relay how hopeless that could feel but it came out all wrong . . . and that you are sorry for saying something in poor taste.

Surely you don't think there is some connection between your saying what you did and your cousin's suicide? That would be quite a powerful thing - to simply make a statement and the other person take it as a directive. In other words - no - that didn't happen.

Your cousin's decision to kill himself was his decision, however misguided, and doubtless occurred after a long struggle with depression, addiction, or some other internal problem.

Go to the funeral. It would be much more conspicuous for you NOT to go.
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Old 02-06-2013, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,505,046 times
Reputation: 9889
You did not cause your cousin's death but what a coincidence and lesson learned about ''foot in mouth'' disease.

GO...funerals are for the living. Support your family but DO NOT mention your past comment or in any way make reference to it.
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