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Even though i've always had other students that I would chat with throughout my school years, it NEVER went beyond that.
In my new college, I do have ONE study buddy that I study with every other day and then get food after with: THAT'S IT! I have met some cool people through my roommates but I feel like the "odd-one-out" since they have a history of things to reminisce about and can talk about things that I have no input to contribute. I just wish I had a friend to be close with&relate with to:
- Talk about personal/important things
- Go to events with (if you go to school events alone then you would stick out since everybody goes with others)
- Eat/smoke with
- Workout with
- Hang out with
I just transferred into a new University this semester (as a Coll.Junior) and whenever I go into the dining halls, almost EVERYBODY eats with somebody else and i'm a loner who has to sit hidden where it makes me look as less loser'ish as possible. I just wish I had one REMOTELY close friend to hang out with alot.
I'm a somewhat good looking guy, i'm not scary-looking, present myself well, always willing to try new things, not picky when it comes to friends and I smile a lot(when necessary). I'm also a racial-minority so I feel that it reduces the ability I have to relate to others (i've always been a minority in my schools and most of the few other minorities of my group were not the type of ppl who I would ever associate with). I've never/rarely been mistreated for my race but I have oftentimes kinda feel ignored/neglected b/c of it. I also dislike WATCHING Sports but 90% of guys my age seem like it so I KNOW that's a big barrier by itself (I love playing it but CAN'T STAND watching it).
What do you think?
Last edited by Guidance100; 02-10-2013 at 02:10 PM..
Where you grow up and went to high school, friends are almost handed to you...When you move away/go to college you get to pick your friends. Friends that you have something in common with instead of friends you grew up with....
So go to a party, do your smoke thing, talk to your room mate, talk to someone thats in one of your classes when you see them outside of class..... something..
Its fine you have no close friends, your in college and unless you go to there with your best friend from high school, this is normal. Get more involved with the people you live with, or sit next to in class. When someone asks where your going, if its possible invite them.... like to go get food, or go to the gym, or going to the woods to smoke or something..
Just continue to be friendly with people. You'll eventually pick up friends. Everyone else has had 2 1/2 years to get to know each other. Give it time.
Are there any clubs you can join? Having some interests in common helps.
Seek out others that look like they may be "alone".
Even though i've always had other students that I would chat with throughout my school years, it NEVER went beyond that.
In my new college, I do have ONE study buddy that I study with every other day and then get food after with: THAT'S IT! I have met some cool people through my roommates but I feel like the "odd-one-out" since they have a history of things to reminisce about and can talk about things that I have no input to contribute. I just wish I had a friend to be close with&relate with to:
- Talk about personal/important things
- Go to events with (if you go to school events alone then you would stick out since everybody goes with others)
- Eat/smoke with
- Workout with
- Hang out with
I just transferred into a new University this semester (as a Coll.Junior) and whenever I go into the dining halls, almost EVERYBODY eats with somebody else and i'm a loner who has to sit hidden where it makes me look as less loser'ish as possible. I just wish I had one REMOTELY close friend to hang out with alot.
I'm a somewhat good looking guy, i'm not scary-looking, present myself well, always willing to try new things, not picky when it comes to friends and I smile a lot(when necessary). I'm also a racial-minority so I feel that it reduces the ability I have to relate to others (i've always been a minority in my schools and most of the few other minorities of my group were not the type of ppl who I would ever associate with). I've never/rarely been mistreated for my race but I have oftentimes kinda feel ignored/neglected b/c of it. I also dislike WATCHING Sports but 90% of guys my age seem like it so I KNOW that's a big barrier by itself (I love playing it but CAN'T STAND watching it).
What do you think?
1. Do you live in the dorms? Probably the best way to meet friends, especially as a transferee.
2. Get involved in something social (e.g. the business school fraternity) or the blood drive, or the French club or whatever is involved in your studies.
3. Intramural sports, bicycling, skating, etc.
4. Get a job on campus working for the university. Rec center, book store, parking cashier, etc. You will meet other students that way.
5. Drama club, radio station, etc.
6. Offbeat classes with participation such as fencing, drama, etc.
Yes you need to find some groups to join if you don't like watching sports because like you said that is about 90% of the rest of the people. This will always separate you if you don't like sports. Maybe you should try to learn a sport just so you could share it with a group, like football. It does have the most people. I never liked watching sports and neither has my husband. I had to watch it on tv growing up and I just hated it but it has shut us out of a lot of get togethers over the years and sometimes I wish I had been able to join in.
Don't feel too prideful about individuality and whatnot to join groups. I made that mistake for awhile. They're a great way to get to know people...even if they have stupid requirements. It's harder to meet strangers or even neighbors.
Even though i've always had other students that I would chat with throughout my school years, it NEVER went beyond that.
In my new college, I do have ONE study buddy that I study with every other day and then get food after with: THAT'S IT! I have met some cool people through my roommates but I feel like the "odd-one-out" since they have a history of things to reminisce about and can talk about things that I have no input to contribute. I just wish I had a friend to be close with&relate with to:
- Talk about personal/important things
- Go to events with (if you go to school events alone then you would stick out since everybody goes with others)
- Eat/smoke with
- Workout with
- Hang out with
I just transferred into a new University this semester (as a Coll.Junior) and whenever I go into the dining halls, almost EVERYBODY eats with somebody else and i'm a loner who has to sit hidden where it makes me look as less loser'ish as possible. I just wish I had one REMOTELY close friend to hang out with alot.
I'm a somewhat good looking guy, i'm not scary-looking, present myself well, always willing to try new things, not picky when it comes to friends and I smile a lot(when necessary). I'm also a racial-minority so I feel that it reduces the ability I have to relate to others (i've always been a minority in my schools and most of the few other minorities of my group were not the type of ppl who I would ever associate with). I've never/rarely been mistreated for my race but I have oftentimes kinda feel ignored/neglected b/c of it. I also dislike WATCHING Sports but 90% of guys my age seem like it so I KNOW that's a big barrier by itself (I love playing it but CAN'T STAND watching it).
What do you think?
Same thing describes my time in school, although I am female. Transferring makes it worse, of course. I think I found a couple of friends my senior year. Late senior year. I was desperately lonely the whole time I was in school. Same for grad school. I think it also partly depends on the school. Mine was especially clique-y. People bonded first year and after that it was really hard to make friends, especially since so many people were heavily involved in fraternities and sororities and other exclusive clubs. The first good friend I made ended up being my husband, and I met him online.
I also dislike WATCHING Sports but 90% of guys my age seem like it so I KNOW that's a big barrier by itself (I love playing it but CAN'T STAND watching it).
Don't just watch the overall action(inaction) of the game. For a sport you like playing, pick out a specific player and watch only their movements and how they play the game, analysing how what they do is similar or dissimilar to what you would do, looking for methods and techniques that you can adapt to your game.
I've had a few people who considered me a close friend but if I were to truly say so, no I've never personally had a "close" friend. I wouldn't think too much of it. It takes a lot to find someone you can trust, whom you have things in common with, whom you're interested in and who is interested in spending time with you. People are just too different it seems.
Some people just have trouble, or have bad luck. I've had a lot of friends but few close friends. I actually like it that way.
My wife for instance has not had good luck with people she thought were close friends, they always end up disappointing or not really being there in times of need like a true close friend is supposed to be.
I suspect most people go through a similar experience but incorrectly label friends as "close friends." Friendships can be very fluid, they can come and go...
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