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Old 02-13-2013, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
1,039 posts, read 1,341,500 times
Reputation: 525

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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I think it's concerning that it upsets him so much. If he was confident he liked women you'd think he'd just brush it off. Sometimes the truth hits too close to home.
Maybe but truth be told, most guys secure and not would get mad if people seriously thought they were gay and they weren't. I'm secure and I'm not gay but if people did, it would tick me off because that's not the image I have of myself and I don't want people projecting that on me. No one likes being stereotyped and etc., and just because people get mad about being told that they are something that they aren't (not saying he isn't gay) doesn't mean that they are...I never understood how people came to this conclusion. "Must be true if your mad..."
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Old 02-13-2013, 02:06 PM
 
16,026 posts, read 19,535,512 times
Reputation: 26180
Wow. That is definitely something you should hesitate about. You've shared your concerns, anything beyond that is uncalled for. I think you may need to decide what your motive is here.
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Old 02-13-2013, 02:10 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 39,923,903 times
Reputation: 62020
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisthedealwith View Post
My sister is dating a guy I believe is gay. I am a gay guy-- this dude is giving off the vibe in a big way, though he has never made any overt gestures. EVERYONE I know is surprised that he is dating a woman.

I have gently suggested to my sister that her boyfriend might be struggling with some issues. She says she has mentioned to him the general consensus that he is gay and it only makes him upset to the point where he won't discuss it. They seem to have a good relationship but she has confessed to me that she has thought about breaking up with him because of the perception that he is closeted. She says they are sexually active, and I believe her. The boyfriend says that it is a "problem for her, not for him" and won't entertain further conversation about his sexuality. She has not found any evidence (porn, etc) of his sexual orientation but is keeping an eye out.

I don't know if I should speak up, try to out him, or just play along. My sister comes to me for advice on this a lot as I am her source for all things gay. Is this any of my business?
It sounds like your sister does have the issue and she should break up with this guy and quit wasting HIS TIME since she really does not believe him and keeps pushing the sexual orientation issue. YOU should STAY OUT OF IT, none of your business.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:58 PM
 
3,751 posts, read 7,457,171 times
Reputation: 3711
I would tell her. She is your sister. Until she tells you in no uncertain terms to butt out - your responsibility is to protect her.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:59 PM
 
3,503 posts, read 7,911,051 times
Reputation: 3466
I hope she is practicing safe sex
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,504,526 times
Reputation: 49774
The subject has come up, it's been discussed. Don't dwell on it. Let it for them to deal with.
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Old 02-13-2013, 08:03 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,322,808 times
Reputation: 1316
I'd simply encourage your sister to trust her gut intuition on this guy and definitely be honest when she asks you questions and your opinion on the matter. It does sound like she's hit a nerve asking him and him being so defensive. Only your sister can determine her comfort level in the relationship...
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Old 02-14-2013, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis
505 posts, read 786,399 times
Reputation: 717
Okay, I'll be the one to ask. . .are you attracted to your sister's boyfriend?
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Man with a tan hat
799 posts, read 1,310,015 times
Reputation: 1443
Nope. I already addressed this. He is very young looking, white, blonde-- like underage looking. Not my type at all as I am a black man and prefer muscular black men.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,209 posts, read 7,838,113 times
Reputation: 53094
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisthedealwith View Post
Nope. I already addressed this. He is very young looking, white, blonde-- like underage looking. Not my type at all as I am a black man and prefer muscular black men.
Well there goes my suggestion that you make a pass at him to find out for sure
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