U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-19-2013, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Here.
13,824 posts, read 12,593,940 times
Reputation: 16220

Advertisements

I'd go and deduct $22 from whatever I would have spent on a gift.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-19-2013, 07:33 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 29,426,087 times
Reputation: 19624
Quote:
Originally Posted by plantress View Post
I agree that you should make up an excuse, send a gift, and don't gossip about it to even your most trusted family member or it might get back to them.
I will be spending the weekend with my kids that weekend so I won't have to make anything up. My family doesn't know her family or friends, or even her.

Been a while since I have really talked to them anyhow.

I know it is going to be an issue as soon as their mom opens the email.... Sweetest lady in the world, but this girl and her family have been so disrespectful towards their family. It is just all unbelievable.

I have no one to tell about it but my SO, and I imagine my one friend. I may not mention it to her because her husband works with SOs brother, who is the mother to be-s husband.

Geez all that sounds confusing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2013, 07:34 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 29,426,087 times
Reputation: 19624
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retroit View Post
I'd go and deduct $22 from whatever I would have spent on a gift.
What SO said I should do if I end up going....

I am just not gonna go and I will get them something and give it to them before the baby comes or when we meet the baby.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2013, 07:59 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,013,065 times
Reputation: 32389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
I was invited to my SOs brothers wifes baby shower. I got the invite via e mail. It is at a restaurant and you have to pay $22.00 for the lunch.

I have never in my life encountered anything like this. Is this the new norm? Whenever people in my family or my friends have had a baby shower it has been at their house or even a banquet hall. Some parties smaller than others, some very big. Sometimes just appetizer type food and other times all out banquet.

I have never been asked to pay for my lunch at a baby shower.

Does anyone know what's up with this? I don't know any of the people going and when the 2 families get together for anything, they separate. SOs family on one side, her family and friends on the other. We are more laid back and friendly and they are a bit more..."I am better than you" behaved. That is how it was at their wedding as well.... sheesh.

I am going to decline the invite and just get her something off the registry and get it for her.

What would you do?
Wow. That's tacky. I would decline and give her a gift another time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2013, 03:31 PM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,788,379 times
Reputation: 25421
The only time I've seen anything like that is when co-workers have thrown a shower for someone at work. That wasn't really a shower anyway--we all went to lunch together on a regular work day and gave her gifts and had cake, and everyone paid for their own lunch. But the way you've described it is just cheap and tacky.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2013, 03:41 PM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,604,450 times
Reputation: 26195
Quote:
Originally Posted by chilaili View Post
I would go and try to enjoy myself.
Exactly. This is someone important to your future w/ your SO. So, go, eat a nice lunch, buy a nice gift....and if you are gonna draw lines in the sand don't do it over such a piddly situation. If you can't afford the lunch/gift, ask your SO to pay.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2013, 04:23 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,052,657 times
Reputation: 22371
The point of a baby shower is to get gifts for the new baby, right?

I can't imagine anyone would be offended if OP didn't attend. After all, it is not as tho it is being held in someone's house -- a nice luncheon -- and money were being spent to entertain each guest.

If people don't show up - no skin off anyone's teeth -- cause no one is making an investment in entertaining guests!

This is more or less an invite to go pay for your own lunch, so the hostess doesn't have to, along with bringing a gift . . . so whoever is throwing this "event" can say "I gave you a baby shower" (even tho I didn't do squat except send out invites).

Obviously, this is all about gifts and no one having to go out of their way to do a blame thing.

No one is going to care whether OP was there or not -- as long as the swag shows up, lololol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2013, 04:33 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 29,426,087 times
Reputation: 19624
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Exactly. This is someone important to your future w/ your SO. So, go, eat a nice lunch, buy a nice gift....and if you are gonna draw lines in the sand don't do it over such a piddly situation. If you can't afford the lunch/gift, ask your SO to pay.
I don't mean to sound awful, but I am about to. She isn't really important to my future with my SO. She thinks she is better than his whole family and treats us all as such.

My SO thinks it is just as tacky as I do.

I will get her a gift but I am not going to attend the party. I will not know anyone there other than I may recognize them from the wedding. The wedding was pretty uncomfortable to be at.

Her family acts the same way she does, like they are better than everyone. During the barbque the day before and during the time after the wedding, the families split in half. It was awful.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2013, 04:59 PM
 
1,523 posts, read 1,659,462 times
Reputation: 2641
I'd 'remember' that I had to work that day, and send a gift.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2013, 05:15 PM
 
16,992 posts, read 20,618,884 times
Reputation: 33961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
I don't mean to sound awful, but I am about to. She isn't really important to my future with my SO. She thinks she is better than his whole family and treats us all as such.

My SO thinks it is just as tacky as I do.

I will get her a gift but I am not going to attend the party. I will not know anyone there other than I may recognize them from the wedding. The wedding was pretty uncomfortable to be at.

Her family acts the same way she does, like they are better than everyone. During the barbque the day before and during the time after the wedding, the families split in half. It was awful.
You don't sound awful. Your description of the pancake incident paints a picture of the type of person she is.

I don't even think you would probably mind spending the $22(although it is tacky) if this was someone you actually liked or cared about, but that is not the case.

You already know from past experience how this family acts, why subject yourself to that. Especially when you would be attending this shower on your own.

You have the right idea, just send a gift and don't attend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:07 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top