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Old 02-19-2013, 11:10 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 29,495,397 times
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I was invited to my SOs brothers wifes baby shower. I got the invite via e mail. It is at a restaurant and you have to pay $22.00 for the lunch.

I have never in my life encountered anything like this. Is this the new norm? Whenever people in my family or my friends have had a baby shower it has been at their house or even a banquet hall. Some parties smaller than others, some very big. Sometimes just appetizer type food and other times all out banquet.

I have never been asked to pay for my lunch at a baby shower.

Does anyone know what's up with this? I don't know any of the people going and when the 2 families get together for anything, they separate. SOs family on one side, her family and friends on the other. We are more laid back and friendly and they are a bit more..."I am better than you" behaved. That is how it was at their wedding as well.... sheesh.

I am going to decline the invite and just get her something off the registry and get it for her.

What would you do?
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,806,866 times
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I would go and try to enjoy myself.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:22 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 29,495,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chilaili View Post
I would go and try to enjoy myself.
I would only know the mother to be. They are all a bit stand off-ish to people they don't know, so enjoying myself may not be very possible, and I am not much their type.


To me, it is just strange. I just told my SO that I would go only if his mother and sister in law were going, but they would be traveling from out of state if they were. I did see that they were invited.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,553 posts, read 24,148,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post

I am going to decline the invite and just get her something off the registry and get it for her.

What would you do?
That's what I'd do, too. If someone can't afford to have a party, then they shouldn't have a party and expect guests to pay.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,355 posts, read 10,343,687 times
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I'd do what you're doing.
Not sure if it's the norm but it seems tacky to ask (tell) a 'guest' to pay for their own food.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:32 AM
 
3,257 posts, read 4,478,770 times
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I have friends that do this. I just hate it and told them I can't afford to go to a restaurant and buy a present too, so I will just drop off the present. And it's not an expensive one either, I make sure of that. Honestly, they do this for ALL their "parties", birthdays, showers, baptisms, etc. Just crazy. If you can't afford a few hotdogs and punch then don't have a "party". Plus I don't even like the restaurants they pick. It's just insulting.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:33 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 29,495,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
That's what I'd do, too. If someone can't afford to have a party, then they shouldn't have a party and expect guests to pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
I'd do what you're doing.
Not sure if it's the norm but it seems tacky to ask (tell) a 'guest' to pay for their own food.
I agree. I have never heard of this before. I am almost forty and I have been going to baby showers forever and never have I come across this. I think I would want those 22 bucks to go towards more of a gift.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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I think that most people would even be amenable to bringing a dish to a potluck at someone's home as opposed to having to shell out money for a shower at a restaurant.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:51 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 29,495,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I think that most people would even be amenable to bringing a dish to a potluck at someone's home as opposed to having to shell out money for a shower at a restaurant.
I think so too. I have a huge family, and for the most part, all the baby showers have been within the family, etc.

I didn't know if other people were just doing it different or what. Just not my crowd. I am actually making a cross stitch for her but I don't know when it will be complete.

Just strange.
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Old 02-19-2013, 12:58 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,172,097 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
That's what I'd do, too. If someone can't afford to have a party, then they shouldn't have a party and expect guests to pay.
Agree! Make your excuses, send a gift and don't even mention anything about how tacky this all is.
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