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Old 02-20-2013, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,526,299 times
Reputation: 49780

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I read it as that at age 25 she's starting to realize just how stupid it all was.

It is sad that it took her this long but maybe she can turn it into something positive.

She pretty much confirmed that bullies do what they do due to a lack of self confidence.
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Old 02-20-2013, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
3,044 posts, read 4,001,463 times
Reputation: 3898
Having pounded more than my share of bullies in school most dropped out soon after. At 116 lbs. fighting weight, I was the usual terror so only dealt with kids that weighted at least 40 or 50 lbs. more than me. It would usually start with one of my (small but big mouthed) friends getting picked on, then I would say "pick on someone your own size", and then he would say "you, you're my size"< and the fight is on!

Not only did I have some kind of school record on the go long after I left high school, I still have trouble suffering fools gladly.
But I'm working on it. And even had a few draws. I actually won a few, but most of the time looked like a rodeo cowboy after the bull had stomped me. And now I are one.

Last edited by thedwightguy; 02-20-2013 at 01:03 PM.. Reason: word economy
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Old 02-20-2013, 08:10 PM
 
10,720 posts, read 17,411,206 times
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Bullying is all about intimidation. You have to stand up to a bully otherwise it will continue. You don't have to win a fight, all you have to do is stand up to them. Once a bully knows they can't control you through fear or intimidation, they won't mess with you. They go after easy targets and people who give in to them. And bullying doesn't cease in child hood, it happens as adults too.

The one thing I will say is that you can't win when you are outnumbered. Most bullies never operate alone. Then it becomes hard to stand up to a bully because it's one against one, then its usually one against many. They usually recruit people to serve them and then they gang up on you. You can't win in a situation like that. The best thing to do is move away either change schools, jobs, cities etc.
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Old 02-20-2013, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia
3,077 posts, read 3,157,956 times
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Most of them are tradesmen and are now on top of the world now because those are in demand jobs now
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Old 02-20-2013, 08:37 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,070 posts, read 14,394,007 times
Reputation: 36806
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
There was this girl in junior high and high school who was super-popular for unknown reasons. She was big-boned/ moosy, and generally mean and unpleasant. But somehow she hung out with the most popular crowd, always had boyfriends, and she always threw big parties at her house when her well-off parents were out of town. She was the main reason I left this so-called popular crowd in high school, as she would frequently make fun of me in front of everyone, even though I was a member of the group.

Now in the age of facebook, I'm in touch with nearly everyone from middle and high school, and though I'm not her "friend" I do see her pictures.

I'm pleased to say that she now looks almost exactly like "Grimace," the big fat purple character from McDonaldland. She's not exactly purple (more "leathery" from years of tanning) but aside from that, she's a dead-ringer. She's evidently still an arrogant somewhat nasty person, as evidenced by her wall posts on other people's walls. I like just feeling smug and believing in karma

It does seem that most all of the bullies and jerks from the old days that I've seen pics of, or run into, have lost their looks.

Like you, I've also seen a good many pics on Facebook (via mutual friends) and have noticed this phenom. I have also noticed some attempting, and/or have attempted to buy them back with major fail.

FYI: Ugly innards just can't help but mess up the outside.

Got to love poetic justice
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Old 05-02-2013, 03:22 AM
 
298 posts, read 281,358 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by azriverfan. View Post
Bullying is all about intimidation. You have to stand up to a bully otherwise it will continue. You don't have to win a fight, all you have to do is stand up to them. Once a bully knows they can't control you through fear or intimidation, they won't mess with you. They go after easy targets and people who give in to them. And bullying doesn't cease in child hood, it happens as adults too.

The one thing I will say is that you can't win when you are outnumbered. Most bullies never operate alone. Then it becomes hard to stand up to a bully because it's one against one, then its usually one against many. They usually recruit people to serve them and then they gang up on you. You can't win in a situation like that. The best thing to do is move away either change schools, jobs, cities etc.


This is why I said in another thread that schools should hire someone to keep track of all the daily middle school gossip.

You could have a notebook with different colored pencils. And just keep track of everything that goes on with the students. You might even have a different notebook for each student, depending on how much of a pressure cooker it is, so you can fully imagine how a student might approach a given situation. Maybe write things in red pencil if it is classified information, blue if it is common knowledge to students, but not adults, and green if it is common knowledge to everyone.

Because then pack situations like that won't happen.


Especially in middle school, girls aren't really secretive at all. The information is out there if an adult is willing to learn about it. But most of the time, the teacher just wants a 10-minute quick fix or has too much of an ego to "lower" themselves onto talking to the kids at their own level.

The only time a teacher talks to the kids is when they are demanding a story from them. Oh, I'm sure the student will be 100% honest when they know they will get in huge trouble if they tell the truth and they know the adult has no clue about what the real story is!


You need to basically have an adult do some paperwork or whatever during the day while the students are in class, but like sit and talk with them during homeroom, lunch, free periods, and during sports after school and just have a full idea of all the cliques, rivals, enemies, attitudes, etc.

If you do that, if a situation arises, all the adult has to do is go sit with Person X and ask, "So I've heard Action Y is going on. What's the story?" and you will get anything you want to know.

For an extremely basic example, if Sarah and Jessica both like Chris, but Sarah and Jessica hate each other and Sarah tells Jessica that Chris told Sarah that he hates Jessica, it's almost 100% guaranteed that Sarah is lying. But if the relations between Sarah, Jessica, and Chris are unknown to the teacher involved in discipline, there is no way that the teacher can actually punish Sarah for lying, because when Sarah is questioned, she will pretend that her and Jessica are good friends. And if the teacher has no prior knowledge about these 3 people, the teacher has no right to punish them.

Yes, it would get a lot more complicated. That's why you should hire an adult to specialize in that one role.

Will secretive stuff still happen? Sure. But it will be way way way more limited in scope because it will be much more difficult for the bullies to get by without being detected and because so much more will be known about everyone in advance.
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Old 05-02-2013, 05:05 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,102 posts, read 13,169,050 times
Reputation: 3923
Quote:
Originally Posted by jim9251 View Post
I never was a bully, but stood up to bullies, and defended friends who were picked on by bullies. There are still bullies, they're just insecure people who are scared to death and overcompensate. I learned once you stand up to a bully, they're pretty docile.
That was me too Jim...I was raised moving from one boom town to another while growing up and each new school I went to there was the usual "pecking order" I had to endure...I was blessed with size and worked hard at home so bullies never got a second chance to bully me nor my friends.


I don't really see where a bully has gotten ahead around here..most ended up fat and bald with drinking problems and jobs as car salesmen or some crap like that..one is a coach at our local HS now,but he's had his head warmed up so many times over the years that he's actually pretty mellow now.I know I sure despised bullys in school and like them less in the real world.
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Old 05-02-2013, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,500 posts, read 3,934,412 times
Reputation: 3226
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedwightguy View Post
Having pounded more than my share of bullies in school most dropped out soon after. At 116 lbs. fighting weight, I was the usual terror so only dealt with kids that weighted at least 40 or 50 lbs. more than me. It would usually start with one of my (small but big mouthed) friends getting picked on, then I would say "pick on someone your own size", and then he would say "you, you're my size"< and the fight is on!

Not only did I have some kind of school record on the go long after I left high school, I still have trouble suffering fools gladly.
But I'm working on it. And even had a few draws. I actually won a few, but most of the time looked like a rodeo cowboy after the bull had stomped me. And now I are one.
So, you were just a different kind of bully then?
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Old 05-02-2013, 02:03 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,528,021 times
Reputation: 39802
I was pretty bullied in middle and high school. Not terribly impressed with the outcomes for any of the people who messed with me. I don't want apologies or remorse - they don't really signify to me. Amusingly, one is a teacher at my old high school. I remember bringing his bullying of me to an end by bouncing his head off a desk. A girl does that to you in front of your entire social group, you tend to leave her alone after that. I'm looking forward to seeing him at the reunion
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Old 05-02-2013, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
11,102 posts, read 13,169,050 times
Reputation: 3923
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I was pretty bullied in middle and high school. Not terribly impressed with the outcomes for any of the people who messed with me. I don't want apologies or remorse - they don't really signify to me. Amusingly, one is a teacher at my old high school. I remember bringing his bullying of me to an end by bouncing his head off a desk. A girl does that to you in front of your entire social group, you tend to leave her alone after that. I'm looking forward to seeing him at the reunion
Dang..you go girl!
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